Underneath
What's going on underneath #
Three things that tend to sit under the words.
It stings too because marks can feel like a judgement on the person, not just the paper.
For some people it goes back to a school teacher who marked carefully and explained every point, so everyone knew where they stood.
Underneath, a rule can sit: “The same answer should always get the same mark,” or “If marking is unfair, nothing I do matters.”
Reactions
What people often do #
- Compare essays with classmates, point by point
- Decide the teacher has favourites
- Work twice as hard on the next assignment
- Stop trying in that module, since it does not seem to count
- Keep the mark to yourself for a while, before anyone asks
The deck
The story in 6 cards #
Six short cards, from the moment to letting go.
A C beside a B plus
A Wednesday at a college in Dublin. Your essay comes back with a C. Your classmate, who wrote something very similar, got a B plus. You compare them side by side in the corridor. Your stomach drops, your face goes hot, and you walk to the bus feeling cheated and confused, the mark sitting heavy on your mind all the way home.
Grades should be fair
Underneath sits a rule: 'Teachers should grade everyone fairly.' It sounds completely reasonable. Plenty of people live by it without a second thought. Marks should reflect the work. But look at what it does: it makes one mark feel like a judgement on your whole worth. Each unfair grade turns into a story about being overlooked, and your enjoyment of learning starts to drain away.
Why fair marks feel like being seen
We hold it because fairness in marking feels like being seen for your effort. Lots of people grow up with some version of this rule, and it often made good sense at the time. Maybe you worked late into the night on that essay. Maybe you were taught that hard work always shows in the grade. Either way, wanting fairness isn't petty. It comes from wanting your effort to count. That deserves kindness, not blame.
The frustration of each grade
Each grade that seems unfair adds to the frustration. None of it shows from the outside, but you feel it. Bit by bit, it all adds up. You start comparing every mark. You lose interest in the subject. You replay the teacher's comments looking for bias. The course you chose because you loved it starts to feel like a contest you can't win, and studying feels heavier every week.
Is the comparison worth it?
Ask yourself honestly: has holding on to the unfair mark ever changed it? Or has it mostly taken the joy out of learning? Marking can be uneven for many reasons: tiredness, different readings, even the order papers were marked in. Either way, one grade isn't the measure of your worth or your ability. Is holding this rule so tightly worth it?
A mark is one reading
Letting go doesn't mean deciding the mark was fair. It means one grade no longer decides how you feel about yourself or the subject. You know what you put into that essay. You can keep learning because you love it. Nothing else has to change first. That's where some peace comes back: the course becomes yours again, and a mark becomes just a mark.
When marks follow who students are, or anyone singles you out for who you are, threatens or frightens you, that is not a hope to loosen; it is worth taking seriously.
The flip
The old rule, and a new one to try #
The old ruleTeachers should grade everyone fairly.
A new rule to tryA mark is one reading. My learning is mine.
For next time
Try it next time #
- Step 1
Name to yourself one thing you learned from that essay
- Step 2
Read one thing about the subject just for fun
- Step 3
When you start comparing marks, take a slow breath
Want to talk it through?
“Which teacher marked fairly, and how could you tell?”
Free and private. No sign-up to start. The chat opens with this question.
Everything this deck knows
Go deeper #
What it sounds like, where it comes from, what it costs, and other ways to see it. Every question opens a chat on it.
How it lands
What was said
Two essays side by side #
The marked essays come back on the course portal. You and a classmate made almost the same argument in section two. Hers has a tick and full marks; yours has a red comment and half. You open both on one screen, side by side, and the sentence comes out: “Teachers should grade everyone fairly.”
For some people the hope is really about the simplest kind of fairness: the same work should get the same mark. When it does not, it can feel like the rules of the game changed without anyone saying so.
Think of a time your work was marked in a way that felt completely fair.
What made it feel that way?Talk about this ›
The first few seconds
A hot face over a red comment #
Some people feel their face go hot as they spot the difference between the two essays. Others feel their chest tighten, or their hands go cold on the keyboard.
The body often reacts first: eyes going back and forth between the screens, a sharp breath, a message typed to a friend. The longer thoughts usually come later, at night, or on results day when the totals arrive.
The last time a mark felt unfair, what did your body do before you had time to think it through?Talk about this ›
Why it lands
Fair marks matter #
Wanting fair marking is not a strange thing to want. Marks can decide which degree class you get, which job or course you can apply for, how a transcript reads for years. When that much rests on a mark, fairness matters a lot.
It stings too because marks can feel like a judgement on the person, not just the paper. An unfair mark can feel like the teacher is saying something about you, even when it was only a quick decision on a busy evening.
What would fair marking look like to you, in one plain sentence, if you could explain it to a teacher?Talk about this ›
The voice inside
The voice that marks the marker #
“It’s so unfair.” “She just doesn’t like me.” “What’s the point of trying?” The voice is usually loudest in the minutes after the marks come out, and again when someone asks how it went.
Some people find the voice is part right and part painful. It is right that the marking may have been uneven. The painful part is when it turns into “so I am not good at this.”
When the voice talks about the unfair mark, what does it most want someone to understand about you?Talk about this ›
Where it comes from
Where it can come from
Where the eye for fairness came from #
For some people it goes back to a school teacher who marked carefully and explained every point, so everyone knew where they stood. That one teacher can become the picture of what fair looks like.
Sometimes it comes from home, where marks were watched closely and every point counted. When marks matter that much to the people you love, an unfair one can feel twice as heavy, even years later.
Who in your school or study years marked fairly, and how could you tell they were being fair to everyone?Talk about this ›
The belief under it
The rule about the same work, the same mark #
Underneath, a rule can sit: “The same answer should always get the same mark,” or “If marking is unfair, nothing I do matters.” The first is a fair rule. The second is a heavy leap.
Teachers mark hundreds of scripts, often late at night, and sometimes they make mistakes or read the same answer differently. That does not make the mistake fine. It does mean one mark is not the whole story of you.
Where does your rule about fair marking fit this course, and where does it make one mark feel like everything?Talk about this ›
What it costs
What it costs
What an unfair mark can take #
It can mean losing interest in a subject you used to like, nights spent going over feedback, or a knot in the stomach before results day. Over a term, those can change how studying feels.
It can also shift how you see yourself. If a mark gets to decide how good someone is at something, then all the learning that did happen can start to feel like it does not count.
Over the past term, what did you learn that you were really glad to learn, whatever mark it got?Talk about this ›
If it stays as it is
Always comparing marks #
One picture, then, and only that. In a later course or a work exam, marks come back and you compare yours with someone else’s and see the difference again.
Maybe a hot face on the way home, a quiet dinner, a subject you start to dislike, a long night looking at the red comments.
Nothing in this scene is fixed, and you can set it down at any moment.
What is the rest of that day like?Talk about this ›
What else is in that day?Talk about this ›
As you look at it, what do you notice first?Talk about this ›
Another way to see it
Another way to see it
A mark is one person’s reading #
A mark is one teacher’s reading of one piece of work, on one day. Two markers can read the same answer differently. That is why fairness in marking is hard, and why it is worth caring about.
That does not make an unfair mark right, and wanting fairness is reasonable. It may mean the mark says something about how the work was read, more than about what you know.
If you looked at the essay as a marker would, what is one thing in your answer that you know is strong?Talk about this ›
What is already there
What you have learned anyway #
Whatever the mark, some things are already yours: the parts of the subject you understand well, a classmate who studies with you, a tutor who marks kindly, your own sense of what a good answer looks like.
These do not make the marking fair, and wanting fairness is still a fair wish. They belong to you whatever the mark says.
What do you already know or do well in your studies, whatever the marks say, that you would like to notice more?Talk about this ›
Making peace
One mark, not the whole story #
This kind of peace is not deciding the mark was fair. When marks follow who students are, that is not a hope to loosen. Being singled out for who you are (gender, caste, religion, colour, age, a disability or where you come from), or touched in a way that feels wrong, is worth taking seriously.
A teacher or tutor who messages you privately in a personal way, gives you gifts, asks you to keep secrets or to meet alone, or offers marks or help in return for something, is not the kind of attention this hope is about; that is worth taking seriously, and someone you trust can hear it.
If you are frightened of what will happen at home over marks or study, or someone there hurts or shames you over them, that is different from this hope and worth taking seriously; someone you trust can hear it, as they can results that make days feel very hard.
Basic respect and safety in learning are never “expecting too much”, for you and for every student.
On the day after results, what would you most like to enjoy, marks aside?Talk about this ›
A truer sentence
A line for results day #
Next to “Teachers should grade everyone fairly”, some people keep: “I wanted a fair mark, and I know what I understood.” The first line stays fair. The second keeps your learning in your own hands.
It can feel strange at first. Some people shorten it to “One mark, not me.” Others find words that sound more like them.
What would your own truer sentence be, one that keeps the wish for fairness and your own sense of what you know?Talk about this ›
What to let be
The essay can go back in the folder #
Not every unfair mark needs to be gone over tonight. It can be noticed, felt, and put back in the folder, still there for tomorrow if needed.
The wish for fairness can stay. Private, personal messages from a teacher, gifts, secrets, pressure to meet alone, marks offered in return for something, being touched wrongly, mocked or singled out for who you are, or fear at home over marks: that is a different matter, and someone you trust can hear it.
Putting the essay away does not mean the mark was right. It means tonight can be about rest.
What would you like to do with your evening?Talk about this ›
If it loosened
If one mark weighed a little less #
Take the same day with the hope sitting a little lighter. You compare once. Then you read your own answer again, slowly, and notice the parts you know are good.
For some it is a calmer journey home. Sometimes it is enjoying the next class in that subject, as if the mark had not happened.
Nothing here needs sharing or acting on. The cards ahead look at making peace with the hope, and at what is already in your week.
What feels different?Talk about this ›
Which small change would you spot first?Talk about this ›
Small things to try
Something to try
A few small things people try #
- Notice one thing in your answer that you know is good
- Think of a subject you enjoy, whatever its marks
- Notice when the voice turns one mark into “I am bad at this”
- Picture the marker at a desk with a tall pile of scripts late at night
- Name, silently, one thing you learned this term
Only for you, and only if useful. One is enough.
Pick a question
Talk it through #
Tap one. A chat with Dr. Thoughts opens on that question: free, private, no sign-up to start.