Underneath
What's going on underneath #
Three things that tend to sit under the words.
Clarity also says something about fairness.
For some people it began at school, where an exam paper told them exactly what to answer and in how many words.
Underneath, a rule can sit: “If it matters, it will be spelled out,” or “A good boss makes the target clear.”
Reactions
What people often do #
- Re-read the message at night for what was really meant
- Guess the likely version and hope it matches
- Ask colleagues what they think the boss wanted
- Do extra versions of the task to cover the options
- Say little and hope the draft clears things up
The deck
The story in 6 cards #
Six short cards, from the moment to letting go.
The two-line message at five
Your manager in Kuala Lumpur drops a two-line message at five: 'Can you pull together something for the client on the new rates? Thanks.' No format, no deadline, no idea who the client is. You spend the evening guessing. The next morning they glance at it and say, 'Not quite what I meant.' You nod, smile, and feel the whole evening drain out of you.
They should say exactly what they want
Underneath sits a rule: 'My boss should tell me clearly what they want.' It sounds completely fair. Clear asks make good work. But look at what it does: it makes your confidence wait for someone else's clarity. Whether you feel capable now depends on how well another person explains things, on days when they may be rushed, unsure themselves or juggling ten other things.
Why clarity feels like respect
We hold it because clarity feels like respect for our time. Maybe you grew up where getting it wrong was punished, so you learned to need exact instructions. Maybe you love doing things properly, and vague asks make that impossible. Either way, wanting clear direction isn't fussiness. It comes from wanting to do good work. That deserves kindness, not blame.
The hours of second-guessing
Every vague ask costs you more than the hours. You start second-guessing everything you hand in. You spend evenings guessing instead of resting. You feel foolish when the answer is 'not quite', even though you couldn't have known. Slowly the work stops feeling like something you do well, and starts feeling like a test you never have quite enough information to pass.
Is perfect clarity worth waiting for?
Ask yourself honestly: has waiting for perfect instructions ever made the work feel easier? Or has it mostly left you tense and doubting yourself? Your manager may not know exactly what they want until they see something. Either way, a vague message isn't the measure of your ability. Holding this rule so tightly costs you more than it gives you.
A first try helps both of you
Letting go doesn't mean you stop valuing clear asks. It means your confidence no longer rests on how well someone else explains. You can treat a first draft as a way of finding out, not a test you might fail. 'Not quite' becomes information, not a verdict. That's where some peace comes back: your evenings, and your sense that you can do this, start to come back too.
Threats, shouting, harassment, humiliation, being singled out for who you are, pay or papers held back, or being frightened at work, are something else, and worth taking seriously; staying careful can be the safe choice.
The flip
The old rule, and a new one to try #
The old ruleMy boss should tell me clearly what they want.
A new rule to tryA first try helps us both see what's wanted.
Three small days
Try it for 3 days #
- Day 1
When you hear 'not quite', see it as a clue, not a fail
- Day 2
Give an unclear task one hour, then stop
- Day 3
Think of one thing you did well with an unclear task
Want to talk it through?
“Who explained something to you so clearly that the task felt easy?”
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Everything this deck knows
Go deeper #
What it sounds like, where it comes from, what it costs, and other ways to see it. Every question opens a chat on it.
How it lands
What was said
A brief with a gap in the middle #
“My boss should give clear instructions.” Thought while a task arrives as two lines in a chat, or while a deadline moves in a meeting where nothing gets written down, or when a finished piece is met with “that's not what I meant”.
For some people the wish is about a fair start: to know what is wanted so the work can be done well the first time. Without it, effort can go into a guess, and then the guess gets judged.
Think of the last unclear task.
What did you do with the gap in the brief, and how did it turn out?Talk about this ›
The first few seconds
The sinking at “not what I meant” #
Some people notice a quick sinking in the stomach when a piece of work comes back as the wrong thing, followed by a hot flush of effort wasted. The body can react as though a mistake had been made, even when the brief was thin.
The first reaction is often physical: a long breath out, shoulders dropping, a glance back at the original message. The thoughts about whose fault it was tend to arrive later.
The last time a task came back as not quite right, what did you notice first, before you worked out why?Talk about this ›
Why it lands
A fair shot at getting it right #
There is real sense in wanting this. Doing work well depends on knowing what it is for, and a clear instruction is the start of that. Wanting it is a way of caring about doing the job properly.
Clarity also says something about fairness. When the target is visible, a person can aim; when it moves or hides, they can be judged on a standard they never saw. That can feel quietly unfair.
What would a clear instruction have contained for the last task you were unsure about, in plain words?Talk about this ›
The voice inside
The voice that holds the receipt #
“It wasn't in the brief.” “I could not have known that.” “They changed it and still expect me to have got it right.” The voice tends to rehearse the case in the quiet after the work has been marked wrong.
Some people find the voice also carries a second line underneath: a worry that the guess should have been better. The two lines can pull in opposite directions and leave a person tired.
When the voice holds the receipt, which line does it use first, and which one sits underneath?Talk about this ›
Where it comes from
Where it can come from
Where the wish for a clear target began #
For some people it began at school, where an exam paper told them exactly what to answer and in how many words. The clarity of a question paper can become the picture of how work should arrive.
For others it came from a past manager who explained a task well and checked it was understood, and the memory of that stayed. For some the source is clear, and for others there is none.
Who first explained something to you so well that the whole task felt easy, and what did they do?Talk about this ›
The belief under it
The rule about clear asks #
Underneath, a rule can sit: “If it matters, it will be spelled out,” or “A good boss makes the target clear.” The first sentence is easy to hear; the rule decides how every thin brief is read.
A rule like this often comes from places where clarity was the norm, such as a school or a first job with written steps. It is a sensible rule to have learned, and it can be set beside this boss, who may brief in a different way.
Where does the rule fit your work, and where does the work involve a gap that nobody has filled yet?Talk about this ›
What it costs
What it costs
What guessing can take #
It can mean an evening spent reading a short message for hidden detail, a draft redone because the first guess missed, or a morning that starts with working out what yesterday's request really was.
It can also change how a person feels about the work. If each task carries the risk of a wrong guess, the pleasure of starting can shrink, and the effort goes into avoiding a miss rather than into making something good.
Over the last month, which task cost you the most time guessing what was wanted, and what else could that time have held?Talk about this ›
If it stays as it is
Five more years of the late-night reread #
Stay with one ordinary Tuesday for a moment, when “my boss should give clear instructions” is loud. What is in it: the two-line message, the meeting where the deadline moved, the draft handed in, the evening spent reading the brief again?
Perhaps an email read three times for its tone, a coffee-break question to a colleague about what was meant, a version made and then remade.
None of it needs fixing, and you can step out of the picture whenever you like.
What gets done that day, and what is set aside?Talk about this ›
When you look at it, what do you notice?Talk about this ›
Another way to see it
Another way to see it
Clear to whom? #
An instruction can feel clear to the person giving it and thin to the person getting it. Words that carry a whole picture in one mind can arrive as a few lines in another, and neither side may notice the gap.
Workplaces also differ in how much gets written down. Some run on long briefs and some on short chats, and many tasks do start out half-formed. That does not make the hope for clarity wrong.
If a brief had to be clear in one specific way, which would matter most: the goal, the deadline, or what a good result looks like?Talk about this ›
What is already there
What is already there #
Alongside the clarity you hoped for, it may be worth looking for what the work already gives: a task that was crystal clear once, a colleague who explains things step by step, a piece you worked out for yourself and enjoyed.
Noticing these does not make a vague brief fine, and the wish for clarity stays fair. A task that went well and a task that went astray can sit in the same month, and neither cancels the other.
On an ordinary week, what has your work, or someone in it, already given you that you would like to see more clearly?Talk about this ›
Making peace
A looser grip on the brief #
Letting this settle does not mean deciding the wish was too much, or that it was perfectly right. It means the guessing stops running the evening. What is fair in the wish can stay, and the grip on each brief can ease.
Some things are not part of this hope at all: being threatened, harassed or humiliated by your boss, a client or a colleague, or singled out for who you are, such as your gender, caste, religion, colour, age, a disability or where you come from.
The same is true of unpaid work, pay or papers held back, unsafe work, or being frightened. These are worth taking seriously, and going along or staying careful can be the safe choice.
Basic respect and safety at work are never expecting too much, for you and for the people around you.
Picture a morning at peace with this wish: what would you do with the first hour after work?Talk about this ›
A truer sentence
A line for the thin brief #
Instead of arguing with “My boss should give clear instructions”, some people try a line like: “I wanted a clear target, and a first draft is allowed to be rough.” It can stand beside the old line.
A line like this can feel borrowed at first, and then more familiar. For some it never fits, and a different one can be tried on another day.
What would a truer sentence be in your own words, one that holds the wish without needing the brief to be perfect?Talk about this ›
What to let be
Some of it can wait until morning #
Not every unclear task needs solving tonight. Some of it can be noticed, felt for a minute and put down, like a half-read brief left open on a screen until the morning.
The wish for clear instructions is allowed to stay quiet and stay real. If you are singled out for who you are, made to work unpaid, or frightened by anyone at work, that is something else, and worth taking seriously.
Laying it down until morning doesn't say it was fine, or that it is settled. It only means the working day does not have to come home in full.
If it loosened
And if the rereading eased a notch #
Look, just for a moment, at the wish a notch quieter. It is still there. You read the brief once, note one question for the morning, and then close the screen. What is the first thing that feels different?
Small things count here: a draft made without rehearsing every version, an evening that starts on time, a task begun with a calmer head. What would your first small thing be?
Nobody else needs to hear any of it. Whatever comes up is yours. Next, a look at what making peace with this wish could mean, and what is already there.
Small things to try
Something to try
A few small things people try #
- Pick out the one thing in a vague task that you do know
- Notice the point where the guess becomes a worry, and where it ends
- Picture the task as a rough sketch, not as a test
- Notice that one version of a task is enough to begin with
- Choose a single question you would like answered, and hold it until morning
Private, mental and optional. Try whichever feels doable.
Pick a question
Talk it through #
Tap one. A chat with Dr. Thoughts opens on that question: free, private, no sign-up to start.
- Who explained something to you so clearly that the task felt easy?
- Which piece of work went well because you knew exactly what was wanted?
- What is the best brief you ever received, and what made it good?
- If the wish for clear instructions eased a little, what would you notice first?
- What is one small good thing that already turns up in an ordinary week at work?