Andar
Andar kya chal raha hai #
Teen baatein jo aksar in shabdon ke neeche hoti hain.
Group ka dabaav akele aadmi ke dabaav se alag chalta hai.
Kai logon ne jaldi seekh liya ki sabke saath chalna alag dikhne se surakshit hai.
Neeche-neeche ek manyata baith sakti hai ki na tabhi ginti jayegi jab sab use maan lein.
Reactions
Log aksar kya karte hain #
- Maan jaana, aur phir poori shaam sochna ki kyun maana
- Aisa bahana bana dena jo asli wajah se zyada qabool ho
- Thoda hanskar rukna, phir bina bataye chupke se nikal jaana
- Group par jhalla jaana, aur baad mein us par ajeeb lagna
- Nyote hi lena band kar dena, taaki dhakka aaye hi nahi
Deck
6 cards mein poori kahani #
Chhe chhote cards, us pal se chhod dene tak.
Birthday dinner aur wo dhakka
Saturday ki raat, gyarah ke baad, Guwahati. Dost ka birthday dinner nipat raha hai aur group shehar ke us paar Bihu night ke pandal ki taraf nikalna chahta hai. Aapko subah jaldi nikalna hai, aur aap kehte ho ki ghar jayenge. Table karahti hai. Koi kandhe par haath rakhkar kehta hai, “Chal na yaar, bas ek baar. Boring mat ban.” Sab hanste hain. Aap bhi hanste ho, aur chaabi dhoondhte hue apni na sikudti mehsoos karte ho.
Na kaha to akele pad jaoonga
Pehle seedhi baat: ghar jaane ka mann hona boring hona nahi hai, aur ek chhedta hua shabd aapke baare mein sahi faisla nahi. Par aise palon se ek niyam ug sakta hai, jo aapka apna ban jaata hai: “Na kaha to akela pad jaoonga.” Ye achhe dost hone jaisa sunayi deta hai. Par dekhiye ye karta kya hai: har nyota imtihaan ban jaata hai, aur aapki haan ka matlab nahi rehta ki aap sach mein jaana chahte the.
Saath chalna surakshit kyun laga
Hum aisa niyam isliye pakadte hain kyunki apnapan mayne rakhta hai, aur saath chalna aksar use bachane ka tareeka tha. Ye bahut insaani chaah hai, aur aam hai. Shayad school mein kisi ko mana karne par chidhaye jaate dekha ho. Shayad ye dost aapke liye bahut mayne rakhte hain. Jo bhi ho, ghulne-milne ki chaah nadaani nahi hai. Wo logon ke kareeb rehne ki chaah se aati hai. Use dosh nahi, narmi chahiye.
Har wo haan jo chahi nahi thi
Har wo haan jo mann se nahi thi, aapse thoda kuch le jaati hai. Ye dheere hota hai, isliye pakadna mushkil hai. Nyota aane se pehle bahane ratte jaate hain. Shaamein ghadi dekhte beetti hain. Subahein thaki shuru hoti hain. Aap jo sach mein pasand karte ho, wo batana chhod dete ho. Yahan tak ki jin shaamon mein aap khushi se jaate, wo bhi bhaari lagti hain, kyunki mann agle dhakke ke liye taiyaar rehta hai.
Kya sabke saath chalna jamta hai?
Khud se sach-sach poochhiye: kya ye niyam pakde rakhne se kabhi group mein apni jagah par zyada bharosa aaya? Ya zyadatar aap thake rahe aur khud par shak karte rahe? Jo dost mayne rakhte hain, unhein aksar saath bitaya waqt yaad rehta hai, na ki wo raat jab aap jaldi ghar chale gaye. Yahan koi galat jawab nahi. Chahein to ek pal is par rukiye. Kya is niyam ko itna kasakar pakadna uski keemat ke layak hai?
Aisi na jo sirf na hai
Chhodne ka matlab ye nahi ki mazaak theek tha, ya doston ki parwah karna band karna hai. Matlab ye hai ki na ek shaam ka ek faisla ho sakti hai, apnepan ki pariksha nahi. Aap birthday wale dost ko gale laga sakte ho, maze ki raat ki shubhkamna de sakte ho, aur ghar ja sakte ho. Wahin se sukoon lautne lagta hai: aapki haan wo ban jaati hai jo aap sach mein chahte ho.
If a group ever pushes with threats, holds your phone or money, or you feel unsafe or frightened, that is more than teasing and is worth taking seriously; getting yourself safe comes first.
Palat
Purana rule, aur try karne ke liye ek naya #
Purana ruleNa kaha to main akela pad jaoonga.
Try karne ke liye naya ruleNa ek shaam ka ek faisla hai. Main phir bhi saath hoon.
Teen chhote din
3 din try kijiye #
- Din 1
Nikalne se pehle chupchaap tay kijiye ki aaj raat kya chahiye
- Din 2
Dhakka aaye to jawab se pehle ek dheemi saans lijiye
- Din 3
Wo ek mauka yaad kijiye jab na muskurakar maan li gayi
Is par baat karni hai?
“Taane shuru hone se pehle, aapki na ke peechhe asli wajah kya thi?”
Free aur private. Shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi. Chat isi sawaal se khulti hai.
Yeh deck jo kuch jaanta hai
Aur gehraai mein #
Yeh kaisa sunai deta hai, kahan se aata hai, iski kya keemat hai, aur ise dekhne ke doosre tareeke. Har sawaal par chat khulti hai.
Yeh kaisa lagta hai
Kya kaha gaya
Dostana dhakka, aur poori table dekh rahi hai #
Dost ka birthday dinner raat gyarah ke baad tak khinch gaya, ya office ki team agle adde par nikal rahi hai, ya group ko subah chaar baje ki Pobitora safari chahiye. Aap kehte ho ki aap chhod doge, aur table ghoom jaati hai: “Chal na yaar, bas ek baar. Boring mat ban.”
Ye aksar hanskar, kandhe par haath rakhkar kaha jaata hai, aur yahi baat ise mushkil bana deti hai. Dobara na kehna ab plan ko nahi, us apnepan ko thukrane jaisa lagta hai, aur hansi ke beech aapki wajah ek minute pehle se chhoti lagne lagti hai.
Aakhri baar iska koi roop kab suna tha?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapne kis baat ko na kaha tha, aur jab table aapka naam pukarne ya “boring” kehne lagi, to uske baad ke kuch second mein kya hua?Is par baat kijiye ›
Pehle kuch pal
Sochne se pehle hi haan kyun nikal aati hai #
Kuch logon ka chehra garam ho jaata hai aur ek hansi nikal aati hai jo poori tarah unki nahi hoti. Kuch paate hain ki “theek hai” zubaan par aa chuka hai jabki baaki mann ab bhi na keh raha hai. Kuch ekdam chup ho jaate hain aur aisa bahana dhoondhne lagte hain jo sabko theek lage.
Group ka hissa hona insaano ke liye bahut purani baat hai, isliye sabke saamne alag dikh jaana mann mein bina soche, jhat se darj ho jaata hai. Thande dimaag ki baat aksar baad mein aati hai, ghar lautti cab mein ya agli subah, us vaakya ke saath jo aap keh dena chahte the.
Jab dhakka aaya, tab body ne kya kiya?Is par baat kijiye ›
Mann samjhane ka hua, maan jaane ka, ya kamre se nikal jaane ka?Is par baat kijiye ›
Wo pehli khinchaav aapko batati hai ki ye group aapke liye kitna mayne rakhta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kyun lagta hai
Aapki na ko shakhsiyat bana diya jaata hai #
“Aaj ka chhod deta hoon” ek shaam ke baare mein faisla hai. “Boring mat ban” us faisle ko aapke baare mein ek bayan bana deta hai. Mazaak mein kahi gayi baat chupchaap na ko kami jaisa dikhati hai, isliye us par tike rehna sirf plan banana nahi, apni safai dene jaisa lagne lagta hai.
Group ka dabaav akele aadmi ke dabaav se alag chalta hai. Jab poori table ek saath kehti hai, to lagta hai sab aapko ek hi nazar se dekhte hain, jabki aadhe log bas isliye jud gaye ki us raat ka mahaul yahi tha.
Isiliye chhoti-si na itni mehengi lagti hai.
Hansi ko ek minute ke liye kinare rakhein, to aapki wajah kya thi, aur akele dekhne par wo kitni jaayaz lagti hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Andar ki awaaz
Jab group ki baat andar bolne lage #
Baar-baar suno to ye shabd ghar tak peechhe aa jaata hai. “Main kitna boring hoon.” “Main baakiyon ki tarah enjoy kyun nahi kar paata?” “Agli baar shayad bulayenge hi nahi.” Ye tab bhi shuru ho sakta hai jab aap bas kehte ho ki aaj rehne dijiye, aur kisi ne abhi kuch kaha bhi nahi.
Group shayad agli subah tak sab bhool chuka ho, par awaaz chalti rehti hai, aur ab wo aapki apni lagti hai. Isiliye pakadna mushkil hai: wo ab unka mazaak nahi lagti, khud ko dekhne ki seedhi nazar lagti hai.
Dimaag mein aapko “boring” kehte waqt wo awaaz kiski hoti hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapki apni, ya kisi khaas group se bahut pehle uthayi hui?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kahan se aata hai
Yeh kahan se aa sakta hai
Kai logon ke liye ye dhakka bahut purana hai #
Kai logon ne jaldi seekh liya ki sabke saath chalna alag dikhne se surakshit hai. School trip mein jo nadi mein nahi koodha uska naam pad gaya, kisi cousin ko har shaadi mein “boring” kaha gaya, ya hostel mein jaldi lautne wale ki peechhe se baatein banin.
Kuch parivaaron aur doston ke group mein saath chalna hi apnapan dikhane ka tareeka tha, aur na kehna doori, kabhi badtameezi samjha gaya. Wajahein alag-alag thin, aur bahut-si garmjoshi wali thin. Par chupchaap ye nateeja nikal sakta hai ki na ki safai deni padti hai aur haan apne aap maan li jaati hai.
Group ko na kehna pehli baar kab jokhim jaisa laga?Is par baat kijiye ›
Us waqt kaun tha, aur jo tika raha uske saath aapne kya hote dekha?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iske neeche ki maanyata
Neeche-neeche banne wala ek chupchaap niyam #
Neeche-neeche ek manyata baith sakti hai ki na tabhi ginti jayegi jab sab use maan lein. Wo kuch yun sunayi deti hai: “Na kaha to main akela pad jaoonga,” “Group ko na kehna swarthi hai,” ya bas “Pasand kiye jaane ke liye sabke saath chalna padta hai.”
Aisi manyataein manyata jaisi lagti hi nahi. Wo dosti ka seedha-sa niyam lagti hain, jaise zameen zameen lagti hai, aur isiliye inhein kabhi-kabhi nikalkar din ki raushni mein dekhna theek hai.
Kuch log aise niyam ko bachpan se jodte hain, kuch nahi. Dono tarah se ise dekha ja sakta hai: alag dikhe to taane milenge, isliye kabhi alag mat dikho.
Ye kin group mein aaj bhi fit baithta hai, aur kinmein nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iski kya keemat hai
Iski kya keemat hai
Saath chalne ki keemat #
Iska matlab ho sakta hai sochna poora hone se pehle haan keh dena, aur phir poori shaam aadha-adhoora maujood rehna. Jaate hue raaste mein bahane ratna, ya party se lautte waqt gaadi tak har nazar dohrana. Kuch log bahar jaana hi chhod dete hain, kyunki mana karna bahut thaka deta hai.
Ek dheemi keemat bhi hai: jo cheezein aapko sach mein pasand thin, wo dheere-dheere kam apni lagne lagti hain. Jab har plan is baat ki pariksha ban jaye ki aap group ke ho ya nahi, to wo shaamein bhi, jinmein aap khushi se jaate, us dabaav mein ulajh jaati hain jo mann ke khilaaf wali shaamon se aaya.
Ye kamzori ki wajah se nahi. Ek seedhi-si na ki safai dete rehna thaka deta hai.
Pichhle ek saal mein isne aapse kya liya: koi subah jo bhaari rahi, koi apna plan jo chhoot gaya, koi raat jismein aap bas isliye ruke ki peechhe baatein na banein?Is par baat kijiye ›
Agar yeh aisa hi rahe
Paanch saal aur, sabke saath chalte hue #
Kisi aam Saturday ki tasveer banaiye, us din ki jab “sabke saath chalna hai” zor se bol raha ho. Ye bas dekhne ki tasveer hai, theek karne ko kuch nahi.
Shayad nyota aane se pehle hi type kiya hua bahana, poori shaam ghadi dekhte beeti, thaki hui subah, aur aapka apna shauq kisi aur weekend par khisaka hua. Ho sakta hai koi dosti pehle se zyada pariksha jaisi lage.
Yahan kisi cheez ka abhi jawab nahi chahiye, aur tasveer jab chahein neeche rakhi ja sakti hai.
Usmein kya hai: plan, message, wo cheezein jin par aapne sochne se pehle haan keh di?Is par baat kijiye ›
Use dekhkar, agar kuch, to aapko kya dikhta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Boring, kiske hisaab se? #
“Boring” ek plan ke baare mein kaha gaya shabd hai, jise kheenchkar poore insaan par daal diya jaata hai. Jis dost ko der raat chahiye, wahi subah ki trekking chhod sakta hai, aur use koi boring nahi kehta. Na sabke paas hoti hai, bas group kuch ki zyada ginti karta hai.
Aksar imaandaar jawab chhota hota hai: sona tha, subah jaldi nikalna tha, peene ka mann nahi tha, ya shaant shaamein zyada pasand hain. Seedhe dekhein to ye pasand hain, kamiyan nahi.
Poochhiye: kiske muqable boring?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ek aur nazar: agar aapka koi pyaara dost usi plan ko na kehta, to kya aap use kam samajhte?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aap chahte ki group usse uski jagah kya kahe?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise jaldi pehchanna
Gaur se dekhne par logon ko kya dikhta hai #
Jab log us pal ko dheere-dheere dohrate hain, to kai ko dikhta hai ki dhakka gambhir kam, shorgul wala zyada tha. Do-chaar awaazon ne shuru kiya, baaki shor mein jud gaye, aur zyadatar log kuch minuton mein apni raat ke baare mein sochne lage.
Kuch ko wo mauke dikhte hain jab unki na sahaj maan li gayi: dost ne kaha, “Fair hai, Sunday ko milte hain,” ya group ne phir bhi unke hisse ki mithai rakh li. Wo shaant pal aksar bhool jaate hain, aur taana poora dohraya jaata hai.
Un shaant palon mein se kaun sa sabse pehle yaad aata hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aur aapki dostiyon ki imaandaar tasveer kaisi dikhti hai, agar jab aapki na maani gayi, wo pal bhi gine jayein?Is par baat kijiye ›
Isse sulah
Aisi na jise jeetna nahi padta #
Sulah ka matlab ye nahi ki mazaak theek tha, ya dost kya sochte hain iski parwah chhod deni hai. Matlab bas itna ki na bina lambi safai ke na reh sakti hai, aur group ki hansi ka is par kam chale ki aap apne faisle par kitna bharosa karein.
Kuch logon ko halka lagta hai jab unhein har kisi se apni wajah par haan nahi chahiye hoti. Jis na par poori table ki muhar chahiye, use dhona thaka deta hai; jo bas apni hai, wo pyaar se, muskurakar kahi ja sakti hai aur wahin chhodi ja sakti hai.
Kaisa lagega agar mazaak ko maze ki shaam ka shor rehne dein, aur jo faisla lekar aaye the, use apne paas rakhein?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ek zyada sachcha vaakya
Paas rakhne ke liye ek sachcha vaakya #
Agar “sabke saath chalna padega warna akela pad jaoonga” saalon se andar chal raha hai, to usse seedhe behes ki zaroorat nahi. Kuch log iske bajaye ek sachcha vaakya taiyaar rakhte hain: “Ek plan ko na kehkar bhi main achha dost rah sakta hoon.”
Ye abhi sach lagna zaroori nahi. Bas purane wale se zyada sateek ho, aur kuch logon ko lagta hai ki dheere aur baar-baar kehne par wo purane niyam ki jagah thodi gher leta hai, khaaskar shor bhare kamre se bahar nikalte waqt.
Aapke apne shabdon mein sachcha vaakya kya hoga, jo group ke liye aapki parwah bhi rakhe aur apni shaam chunne ka haq bhi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Kya rehne dein
Kuch taane bas neeche rakhe ja sakte hain #
Har “boring mat ban” ko chatur jawab ya aisi wajah nahi chahiye jo sabko jamche. Kuch ko suna ja sakta hai, un par muskuraya ja sakta hai, aur unhein wahin rakhkar nikla ja sakta hai, jaise jaate hue mez par rakha hua tissue.
Ye haar maanna nahi hai, na roothna. Ye chunna hai ki aapki taaqat kahan lage, aur kuch log kehte hain isse un plan ke liye zyada jagah bachti hai jinka wo sach mein intezaar karte hain, aur un doston ke liye jinhein na kehna aasaan hota hai.
Aaj raat ise neeche rakhne ka matlab ye nahi ki taana theek tha, ya aap iske baare mein phir nahi sochenge. Bas itna ki ise ghar tak saath aane aur neend kharab karne ki zaroorat nahi.
Agar yeh dheela pade
Aur agar niyam thoda bhi dheela ho #
Sirf ek tasveer ki tarah sochiye ki niyam ek darja dheema ho gaya hai. Group ab bhi chhedta hai, aap ab bhi unki parwah karte ho, par na ek shaam ka ek faisla hai, apnepan ka imtihaan nahi.
Chhoti cheezein kaafi ho sakti hain: bina lambe bahane ke usi waqt nikal jaana jo socha tha, jo hissa pasand hai usmein haan aur baaki mein na, ya aisi Sunday ki subah jo aaram se shuru ho.
Yahan kisi se kuch kehne ki zaroorat nahi. Jo bhi aaye, wo aapka hai, aur gaur karne layak hai. Agar ise theek se dekhna chahein, to baatcheet bas ek tap door hai.
Sabse pehle kya alag lagta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapki pehli chhoti cheez kya hogi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Try karne ki chhoti cheezein
Try karne ke liye kuch
Kuch chhoti cheezein jo log aazmate hain #
- Nikalne se pehle chupchaap tay kijiye ki aap shaam se kya chahte ho
- Jab dhakka aaye, jawab dene se pehle ek dheemi saans lijiye
- Dekhiye, kaun si haan aap chahte ho aur kaun si bas taana khatam karne ki
- Ek wo mauka yaad kijiye jab aapki na aaram se maan li gayi, aur use ginie
- Ghar lautte hue ek cheez ka naam lijiye jo achhi lagi, jo bhi chuna ho
Chhote, nijee aur sab apni marzi se. Jo aasaan lage, wo aazmaiye.
Ek sawaal chuniye
Baat kijiye #
Kisi ek par tap kijiye. Dr. Thoughts ke saath chat usi sawaal se khulegi: free, private, shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi.
- Taane shuru hone se pehle, aapki na ke peechhe asli wajah kya thi?
- Us table par kiski hansi sabse zyada chubhi, aur wahi kyun?
- Kab kisi group ko na kehna aapke darr se behtar nikla?
- Jis aam din ye niyam zor se bole, aap phir bhi kis baat ko haan keh rahe honge?
- Agar ye thoda halka ho, to sabse pehle aapko kya dikhega?