“apnaye jaane ke liye sabke jaisa hona padta hai” par log aksar kya karte hain?

Aise chutkulon par hans dena jo samajh nahi aaye, taaki ghere mein bane rahein. Sunne wale ke hisaab se lehja, shabd ya bhasha tak badal lena. Samooh mein haan mein haan milana, aur ghar tak poore raaste kuch aur sochte jaana. Aise plan, khane ya peene par haan keh dena jo sach mein raas nahi aate. Zindagi ke poore hisse chup rakhna: kahan se hain, kya pasand hai, ghar kaisa hai.

Agle 3 din kya try kiya ja sakta hai?

Is hafte kuch aisa pehniye ya khaiye jo aapke jaisa lage. Ek shaam sirf apne liye kuch pasandida kijiye. Ek aise insaan ko dekhiye jo asli aapko pasand karta lage.

“apnaye jaane ke liye sabke jaisa hona padta hai”: kyun…

Andar

Andar kya chal raha hai #

Teen baatein jo aksar in shabdon ke neeche hoti hain.

Niyam chupchaap do baaton ko jod deta hai: samooh jaisa hona, aur samooh se apnaya jaana.
Kuch logon mein ye kisi tabadle se shuru hota hai: saal ke beech mein naya school, parivaar ka doosre shehar ya desh chale jaana, wo akela bachcha hona jiska tiffin alag tha, naam alag tha, gate par jiske maa-baap koi aur zubaan bolte the.
Aksar ye maanyata ek aur dheeme niyam par baithi hoti hai: “Agar unhone asli roop dekh liya, to wo door ho jayenge,” ya “Alag hona yaani chhoot jaana.”

Reactions

Log aksar kya karte hain #

Aise chutkulon par hans dena jo samajh nahi aaye, taaki ghere mein bane rahein
Sunne wale ke hisaab se lehja, shabd ya bhasha tak badal lena
Samooh mein haan mein haan milana, aur ghar tak poore raaste kuch aur sochte jaana
Aise plan, khane ya peene par haan keh dena jo sach mein raas nahi aate
Zindagi ke poore hisse chup rakhna: kahan se hain, kya pasand hai, ghar kaisa hai

Deck

6 cards mein poori kahani #

Chhe chhote cards, us pal se chhod dene tak.

Office ke chutkulon par hansna
Pune ke naye office ka apna hi andaaz hai: sab ek hi web series ki baatein karte hain, ek hi jagah khate hain, ek hi chutkulon par hanste hain. Aap bhi hanste ho, un series par sir hilate ho jo dekhi hi nahi, wahi salad mangate ho. Lunch par koi pyaar se aapke lehje ka zikr karta hai. Aap muskura dete ho. Par shaam tak dinbhar thoda-sa alag insaan bane rehne ki thakan chadh jaati hai.
Sabke jaise bano, tabhi apnaye jaoge
Iske neeche ek niyam baitha hai: “Apnaye jaane ke liye sabke jaisa hona padta hai.” Ye samajhdaar lagta hai. Ghul-mil jaane se zindagi aasaan hoti hai, aur apna hona chahna bilkul swabhavik hai. Par dekhiye ye karta kya hai: aapko lagatar kaatta-chhaantta rehta hai. Aapka apnaya jaana ab un hisson ko chhipane par tik gaya hai jo mel nahi khaate, aur asli aap chupchaap bahar khade reh jaate hain.
Ghul-milna kab mehfooz rakhta tha
Hum ise isliye pakadte hain kyunki kabhi ghul-mil jaane se hum mehfooz rahe. Shayad bachpan mein school ya shehar badla aur aapne jahan bhi pahunche, jaldi ghulna seekh liya. Shayad kabhi alag hone par chidhaya gaya aur wo ehsaas bhoola nahi. Jo bhi ho, ye niyam bewakoofi nahi. Ye apna banne aur aas-paas ke logon se swagat paane ki chaah se uga hai. Ise narmi chahiye, dosh nahi.
Kaate-chhaante roop ki thakan
Aapke har kaate-chhaante roop mein thodi taakat jaati hai. Aap apna pasandida gaana, apna khana, apna hasya chhipate ho. Ek aisi bheed mein akelapan lagta hai jo kisi aise ko pasand karti hai jo poori tarah aap nahi. Dinbhar abhinay karke thakan liye ghar lautte ho. Dheere-dheere bhoolne lagte ho ki aapko sach mein kya pasand hai, aur aas-paas ke log asli aapse kabhi mil hi nahi paate.
Kya ghul-milne ki keemat vaajib hai?
Khud se sach-sach poochhiye: kya ghul-mil jaane se aapko kabhi sach mein apnaya hua laga? Ya zyadatar chhipa hua? Log aksar uske kareeb sabse zyada aate hain jo bas khud jaisa ho, apne atpatepan aur lehje ke saath. Jo bhi ho, samooh jaisa hona aapki keemat ya swagat ka paimana nahi. Is niyam ko itna kasakar pakadne ki keemat uski den se zyada hai.
Apne jaise rehkar apna hona
Chhodne ka matlab ye nahi ki alag dikhna pade ya sab kuch batana pade. Matlab ye ki apnaya jaana aapse shuru ho sakta hai. Aap apne chhote hisse dikhne de sakte ho, ek gaana, ek pakwaan, ek chutkula, aur chupchaap dekh sakte ho ki kaun unse khilta hai. Yahin se thoda chain lautta hai: aap apne jaise rehkar bhi apne ho sakte ho, jo ghul-mil jaane se kahin halka aur garm lagta hai.
Being singled out, threatened or frightened for who you are is something else, and worth taking seriously; blending in there can be the safe choice.

Palat

Purana rule, aur try karne ke liye ek naya #

Purana ruleApnaye jaane ke liye sabke jaisa hona padta hai.

Try karne ke liye naya ruleApne asli roop mein bhi meri jagah ban sakti hai, dheere-dheere.

Teen chhote din

3 din try kijiye #

Din 1
Is hafte kuch aisa pehniye ya khaiye jo aapke jaisa lage
Din 2
Ek shaam sirf apne liye kuch pasandida kijiye
Din 3
Ek aise insaan ko dekhiye jo asli aapko pasand karta lage

Is par baat karni hai?

“Kin kamron mein dhalne ki talab aapko sabse zyada hoti hai?”

Free aur private. Shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi. Chat isi sawaal se khulti hai.

Dr. Thoughts ke saath baat kijiye

Yeh deck jo kuch jaanta hai

Aur gehraai mein #

Yeh kaisa sunai deta hai, kahan se aata hai, iski kya keemat hai, aur ise dekhne ke doosre tareeke. Har sawaal par chat khulti hai.

Yeh kaisa lagta hai

Kya kaha gaya

Har naye kamre mein saath chalne wala niyam #

“Apnaye jaane ke liye sabke jaisa hona padta hai.” Nayi naukri ke pehle hafte mein dheere se kahi gayi. Naye shehar ke office ki canteen mein. Kisi shaadi mein jahan baaki sabko gaane yaad hain. Ya us group chat mein jahan chutkule itni tez chalte hain ki pakad mein nahi aate.

Ye niyam jaisi kam hi lagti hai. Ye tehzeeb jaisi lagti hai, mahaul padhne jaisi, aur isiliye bahut-se log school, shehar, desh aur bhashayein badalte hue ise saath liye chalte hain, har baar zara-sa khud ko dhalte hue: “Jaisa des waisa bhes.”

Aapne aakhri baar kahan khud ko kisi kamre ke hisaab se dhalte mehsoos kiya?Is par baat kijiye ›

Pehle kya badla: awaaz, raay, hansi, ya ye kehna ki aapko kya pasand hai?Is par baat kijiye ›

Pehle kuch pal

Darwaze se shuru hone wali nazar #

Kuch log ise andar ghuste hi ek nazar ki tarah feel karte hain: kaun hai, kaise kapde hain, kis baat par hans rahe hain, mazaak kis bhasha mein hai. Kandhe zara upar uth jaate hain, aur ehsaas aane se pehle muskaan aa jaati hai.

Kuch log bahut jaldi bhaanp lete hain ki wo andar hain ya bahar, aur ye dekhna aam baat hai. Par ye thakane lagta hai jab ye shayad hi kabhi band hota hai, un logon ke beech bhi jo aapko pehle se jaante hain.

Kisi naye kamre ke pehle minute mein aapki body kya karti hai?Is par baat kijiye ›

Aur kya wo un kamron mein bhi poori tarah thehrti hai jahan aapka pehle hi swagat ho chuka hai?Is par baat kijiye ›

Yeh kyun lagta hai

Ye milansaar hone jaisa lagta hai #

Dhal jaane ki taareef hoti hai: sabke saath nibhane wala, milansaar, team mein chalne wala, “sabse ghul-mil jaata hai.” Isliye ye maanyata samajik hunar jaisi paas ho jaati hai, aur chhoti matra mein hai bhi. Dikkat tab shuru hoti hai jab dhalna swagat ki keemat ban jaye.

Niyam chupchaap do baaton ko jod deta hai: samooh jaisa hona, aur samooh se apnaya jaana. Judne ke baad har fark jokhim lagta hai: ghar se laya khana, zubaan se phisla lehja, alag raay, wo tyohar jo baaki koi nahi manata.

Kya log sach mein aapse ghul-mil jaana chahte hain, ya ye wo maan liya gaya hai jo maanyata unki taraf se khud tay kar leti hai?Is par baat kijiye ›

Ye itna pakka kyun lagta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›

Andar ki awaaz

Wo awaaz jo bolne se pehle kaat-chhaant karti hai #

“Ye mat kaho, ajeeb lagega.” “Bas haan mein haan mila do.” “Zikr kiya toh wo mujhe alag-sa samjhenge.” Awaaz vaakya bole jaane se pehle hi use chhaant deti hai, jo bhi ubharkar dikhe use kaatte hue.

Kuch log dekhte hain ki ye akele ki baat se zyada samooh mein tez hoti hai, aur kisi dost ke naye ghere mein aur bhi tez. Ye yun bolti hai jaise apnaya jaana ek galat tippani ki doori par ho, un logon ke beech bhi jinhone barson se apnapan dikhaya hai.

Ye kaat-chhaant kiski awaaz karti hai?Is par baat kijiye ›

Kya wo naye school ke bachche jaisi lagti hai, ya aaj ke aapke apne faisle jaisi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Yeh kahan se aata hai

Yeh kahan se aa sakta hai

Aksar ye kahan se shuru hota hai #

Kuch logon mein ye kisi tabadle se shuru hota hai: saal ke beech mein naya school, parivaar ka doosre shehar ya desh chale jaana, wo akela bachcha hona jiska tiffin alag tha, naam alag tha, gate par jiske maa-baap koi aur zubaan bolte the.

Kuch do jagahon ke beech bade hue, ek mein zyada aur doosri ke liye kam, aur jaldi badalna seekh gaye. Kuch ke liye ghul-mil jaane se khel ka maidan aasaan hua aur sawaal kam. Kuch log is niyam ko aise saalon tak le jaate hain, kuch nahi.

Kab pehli baar dhal jaana zaroori laga, sirf achha nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Tab aap kaun sa fark sabse zyada nazron se chhipana chahte the?Is par baat kijiye ›

Iske neeche ki maanyata

Niyam ke neeche ka niyam #

Aksar ye maanyata ek aur dheeme niyam par baithi hoti hai: “Agar unhone asli roop dekh liya, to wo door ho jayenge,” ya “Alag hona yaani chhoot jaana.” Pehla vaakya dhalne ke baare mein hai. Neeche wala niyam is baare mein hai ki na dhalne par kya hota hai.

Aise niyam tathya jaise lagte hain, maanyata nahi. Kuch log inhein bachpan tak le jaate hain, aise daur tak jab alag dikhna aur ghoore jaana hua tha; kuch nahi. Dono haal mein ise dekha ja sakta hai.

Aaj aapke aas-paas ke logon ke saath ye niyam kuch kamron mein baithta hoga, kuch mein nahi.

Ye kin kamron mein aaj bhi baithta hai, aur kinmein nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Iski kya keemat hai

Dhalne ki keemat kya hai #

Iska matlab naye shehar mein wo mahine ho sakte hain jab har baatcheet ek chhote-se abhinay jaisi lagti hai, wo dostiyan jo aapke sirf ek roop ko jaanti hain, aur wo ajeeb akelapan ki kamre mein pasand kiye ja rahe hain par usi kamre mein dekhe nahi ja rahe.

Kuch log dekhte hain ki kaat-chhaant ki mehnat logon se ya shaam se zyada thakati hai. Kuch dekhte hain ki ab pata hi nahi chalta kaun si raay apni hai, kyunki itni saari milayi ja chuki hain.

Pichhle saal mein isne kya liya: ek dosti jo upar-upar rahi, ek cheez jo aapko pasand hai par kabhi zikr mein aayi hi nahi, ek shaam jo milansaar bankar nikli aur poori tarah aap nahi the?Is par baat kijiye ›

Agar yeh aisa hi rahe

Kuch saal baad ka ek aam Tuesday #

Kuch saal baad ka ek aam Tuesday sochiye, jab “apnaye jaane ke liye sabke jaisa hona padta hai” zor se bol raha hai. Ye bas dekhne ki ek tasveer hai, sudharne ko kuch nahi.

Shayad team ka lunch jahan mazaak tez chalte hain, ek group chat jiske saath bane rehna hai, ek meeting jisme raay roki gayi ya keh di gayi, lautte hue raaste mein ghar par kisi doosri zubaan mein phone. Bas wo din, jaisa chalta hai.

Yahan abhi kisi jawab ki zaroorat nahi, aur kuch ‘sahi’ dekhna zaroori nahi.

Usmein kya hai: kaam, baatein, aur jo aazmaya nahi gaya?Is par baat kijiye ›

Us Tuesday ko dekhkar aapko kya dikhta hai, agar kuch dikhta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›

Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka

Ghul-mil jaana aur apna hona ek nahi #

Ghul-mil jaane mein samooh se mel khaane ke liye badalna padta hai. Apnapan aamtaur par ye hai ki insaan jaisa hai waisa hi sweekar ho, fark samet. Bahar se dono ek jaise dikh sakte hain, par kuch log bheetar se fark jaante hain.

Ghul-mil jaana darwaze ke bheetar pahuncha sakta hai. Kuch logon mein apnapan tab panapta hai jab asli insaan ka thoda-sa hissa dikhta hai, un kamron mein jahan wo surakshit lage. Kitna, kiske saath, kab, iska koi niyam nahi.

Kin rishton mein aapko lagta hai ki aap apne hain, sirf dhale hue nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Un logon ne aapka kya dekha hai jo baaki ne nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Ise jaldi pehchanna

Jaanchne par log kya paate hain #

Gaur se dekhne par kuch log paate hain ki kabhi-kabhi sachchi raay dikhana maanyata ki ummeed se behtar nikla, aur kabhi-kabhi darr us insaan ya kamre ke baare mein sahi nikla. Dono jaanne layak hain.

Kuch ye bhi dekhte hain ki jin samoohon mein unhone sabse zyada ghulne ki koshish ki, wo hamesha wo nahi jo wo khud chunte. Niyam ne unke liye chuna: jo bhi kamre mein tha, jo bhi anlikhe qaayadon mein sabse pakka dikha.

Ek baar sochiye jab aapne koi fark dikhne diya.

Phir asal mein kya hua, wo nahi jo pehle ki chinta mein tha, balki kamre mein hi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Isse sulah

Thoda dhalna theek hai, poora bhaari hai #

Is maanyata se sulah ka matlab dhalne se inkaar nahi. Har koi thoda dhalta hai: pustakalaya mein dheemi awaaz, office mein alag lehja. Sawaal ye hai ki dhalna chunav hai, ya har darwaze par chukaya jaane wala toll.

Kuch logon ko halka lagta hai jab ek baar mein ek chhoti sachchi cheez dikhne dein: ek khana, ek gaana, ek asli pasand, ek aisi hansi jo udhaar ki nahi. Baaki baad mein aa sakta hai, ya bilkul nahi, aur wo bhi theek hai.

Kuch baatein achhi wajahon se chup rakhi jaati hain, suraksha samet, aur ye theek hai.

Aapke baare mein ek chhoti sachchi cheez kya hai jiske liye aap zyada jagah chahenge, bhale apne mann mein hi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Ek zyada sachcha vaakya

Ek sachcha vaakya, paas rakhne ko #

“Apnaye jaane ke liye sabke jaisa hona padta hai” se behes karne ki jagah kuch log ek zyada sachchi line paas rakhte hain: “Jinke paas rehna theek hai, wo mera thoda asli roop sah sakte hain.” Purane niyam se seedhi ladaai zaroori nahi.

Pehle-pehal sach na bhi lage, chalega. Bas purane se zyada sahi hona chahiye, aur kuch log paate hain ki naye kamre mein jaane se pehle kehne par andar pahunchkar apni awaaz ke liye thodi aur jagah bachti hai.

Aapke apne shabdon mein ek sachcha vaakya kya hoga, jo aapki zindagi ke aaj ke kamron par baithe, us khel ke maidan par nahi jahan purana niyam bana tha?Is par baat kijiye ›

Kya rehne dein

Naye kamre purane niyam ko jaga dete hain #

Naye shehar, nayi naukri ya bade parivarik mauqe par purana niyam zor se laut sakta hai. Ye soch ki ek purani aadat hai jo guzar rahi hai, naye kamre ise jaga sakte hain, aur ise bina bhashan ke dekha ja sakta hai.

Kuch logon ko madad milti hai jab wo use bas dekhein aur naam dein: “Lo, phir wahi kaat-chhaant.” Kisi bhaari din thoda dhal jaana theek hai. Ye us shaam ka chunav ho sakta hai, har shaam ka niyam nahi.

Aaj shaam ke liye niyam ko rakh dene ka matlab ye nahi ki wo sahi tha ya tay ho gaya. Bas itna ki aaj ki raat thodi aur apni sharton par jee ja sakti hai, jahan bhi wo theek lage.

Agar yeh dheela pade

Aur agar maanyata zara dheeli pad jaye #

Bas ek tasveer ki tarah sochiye ki niyam ek paaydaan dheema ho gaya. Naye kamre ab bhi thoda padhne padte hain, par thoda alag hona kam jokhim lagta hai.

Chhoti baatein kaafi ho sakti hain, jaise office jaate hue ghar ka koi gaana bajana, kisi dost ke saath apna pasandida pakwaan banana, ya sirf us par hansna jo sach mein mazedaar hai.

Yahan kisi ko kuch kehna zaroori nahi. Jo bhi saamne aaye wo aapka hai, aur dekhne layak hai. Agar aap use theek se dekhna chahein, to ek chat bas ek tap door hai.

Sabse pehle kya halka-sa alag lagega?Is par baat kijiye ›

Aapki pehli chhoti cheez kya hogi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Try karne ki chhoti cheezein

Try karne ke liye kuch

Kuch cheezein jo logon ke kaam aati hain #

Samooh ka plan banne se pehle ek cheez notice kijiye jo aapko sach mein chahiye, aur use mann mein rakhiye
Jab awaaz vaakya kaate, usse poochhiye: ye khatra hai, ya bas alag hai?
Ek chhoti asli pasand dikhne dijiye, jaise koi khana, gaana ya film
Kisi milne-julne wali shaam ke baad dekhiye ki kaun sa pal sabse zyada apne jaisa laga
Jab koi naya kamra tanaav bhara lage, ek dostana chehra chun leejiye aur abhi ke liye use kaafi maniye

Chhoti baatein, aur sab aapki marzi ki. Jo aasaan lage wahi aazmaiye.

Ek sawaal chuniye

Baat kijiye #

Kisi ek par tap kijiye. Dr. Thoughts ke saath chat usi sawaal se khulegi: free, private, shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi.

Mann mein baar-baar “apnaye jaane ke liye sabke jaisa hona padta hai” kyun aata hai?