Andar
Andar kya chal raha hai #
Teen baatein jo aksar in shabdon ke neeche hoti hain.
Dono ke gaddmadd hone se log kuch bhi mehsoos na karne ki koshish mein lag jaate hain.
Kuch gharon mein gussa sirf kuch logon ko karne ki ijaazat thi, ya uska jawab saza ya chuppi se milta tha, aur wajahein alag-alag hoti hain.
Neeche aksar koi niyam baitha hota hai: “Gussa aaya to main bura insaan hoon,” ya “Gussa sab bigaad deta hai.”
Reactions
Log aksar kya karte hain #
- Muskurakar “Koi baat nahi” kehna, jabki jabda kasa rahe
- Ghanton wahi pal dohrana aur mann mein behes jeetna
- Baad mein kisi apne par baras padna, phir bahut bura lagna
- Kuch kehne ki jagah ekdam chup aur thande ho jaana
- Gusse ko andar mod dena, aur pareshan hone ke liye khud ko kosna
Deck
6 cards mein poori kahani #
Chhe chhote cards, us pal se chhod dene tak.
Idea kisi aur ke naam
Tuesday ki shaam, Jaipur, Malviya Nagar ka office. Ek colleague aapka idea manager ke saamne apne naam se rakh deta hai. Chehra jal uthta hai, haath pen par kas jaate hain. Phir bhi bas muskaan, chuppi, aur sab nigal jaana. Ghar ke raaste mein gussa seene mein patthar sa baitha hai, kisi dheemi auto par baras padna hota hai, phir bahut bura lagta hai.
Mujhe gussa nahi aana chahiye
Neeche ek niyam baitha hai: “Mujhe gussa nahi aana chahiye.” Ye shaant aur samajhdaar lagta hai, zyadatar log is par sir hila denge. Par dekhiye ye karta kya hai: ek aam ehsaas ko sharm ki cheez bana deta hai. Dabane se gussa jaata nahi. Wo intezaar karta hai, aur baad mein tedhe raaste se nikalta hai: ek jhidki mein, munh phulane mein, ya jaagti raat mein.
Gussa khatarnak kyun laga
Hum ise isliye pakadte hain kyunki kabhi gussa khatarnak ya napasand laga tha. Bahut log kisi roop mein ye niyam lekar bade hote hain, aur us waqt aksar ye theek hi tha. Shayad kisi ka gussa daravna tha aur aapne tay kar liya ki waisa nahi banna. Shayad kaha gaya ki achhe log gussa nahi karte. Shaant rehna chaahna galat nahi. Ye dayalu aur surakshit rehne ki chaah se aata hai. Ise narmi chahiye, ilzaam nahi.
Nigle hue gusse ka dher
Har nigla hua gussa dher badhata hai. Bahar se kuch nahi dikhta, par bheetar mehsoos hota hai. Chot lagne par bhi muskurana hota hai. Jo theek nahi, use “Chalta hai” kehna padta hai. Ehsaas galat logon par, galat waqt par ris jaata hai. Phir apradh-bodh aata hai, aur gussa dabane ki koshish aur kadi ho jaati hai. Chakra chalta rehta hai, aur thakan aur kasaav bachte hain.
Kya nigal jaana sahi keemat hai?
Khud se imaandaari se poochiye: kya gussa dabane se wo kabhi gaayab hua? Ya zyadatar baad mein tedha hokar nikla? Gussa is baat ka saamanya ishara hai ki kuch maayne rakhta hai, aur use mehsoos karna us par amal karne se alag hai. Gussa aana aapke achhe hone ka paimana nahi. Kya is niyam ko itna kasakar pakadna uski keemat ke layak hai?
Gusse ko dekhna, guzarne dena
Chhodne ka matlab chillana ya aapa khona nahi. Matlab ye ki gussa ek ehsaas ho sakta hai, notice kiya hua aur naam diya hua, koi raaz nahi. Aap khud se keh sakte ho “Us baat par mujhe gussa hai” aur use guzar jaane de sakte ho. Ye ek baar mein nahi hota, aur hona zaroori bhi nahi. Yahin se kuch sukoon lautta hai: ehsaas aage badh jaata hai, andar atka nahi rehta.
If anger at home is ever met with threats, or someone frightens or hurts you when feelings run high, that is something else, and worth taking seriously.
Palat
Purana rule, aur try karne ke liye ek naya #
Purana ruleMujhe gussa nahi aana chahiye.
Try karne ke liye naya ruleGussa ek ehsaas hai. Use dekha aur guzarne diya ja sakta hai.
Teen chhote din
3 din try kijiye #
- Din 1
Gussa uthe to chupchaap use naam dijiye
- Din 2
Jab wo badhta lage, thodi der tahal aaiye
- Din 3
Jawab dene se pehle teen baar dheere se saans chhodiye
Is par baat karni hai?
“Gussa sabse zyada kab neeche dab jaata hai?”
Free aur private. Shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi. Chat isi sawaal se khulti hai.
Yeh deck jo kuch jaanta hai
Aur gehraai mein #
Yeh kaisa sunai deta hai, kahan se aata hai, iski kya keemat hai, aur ise dekhne ke doosre tareeke. Har sawaal par chat khulti hai.
Yeh kaisa lagta hai
Kya kaha gaya
Ek vaakya jo garmi ko daba deta hai #
“Mujhe gussa nahi aana chahiye.” Chupchaap kahi jaati hai jab railway station ki ticket-khidki par koi beech mein ghus aaye, jab bachcha paanchvi baar kehne par bhi homework na khole, jab auto wala double maange, ya raat ko family group mein kisi ka rukha jawab padhkar jabda kas jaaye.
Ye aksar tameez ya samajhdaari jaisa lagta hai: “Arre chhodo, baat badhane se kya fayda.” Kuch log dekhte hain ki jo ehsaas kehne se band nahi hota, wo kahin aur chala jaata hai.
Aapke yahan wo kahan jaata hai: rukhe lehje mein, der tak dohrane mein, ya kahin nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aakhri baar gussa utha aur aapne use foran neeche dhakel diya, wo kab tha?Is par baat kijiye ›
Uske baad uska kya hua: thanda pad gaya, ya kahin aur nikla?Is par baat kijiye ›
Pehle kuch pal
Pehle garmi, phir dhakkan #
Kuch logon mein gussa bahut tezi se aata hai: chehre par garmi, kasa hua jabda, baanhon aur seene mein ek jhatka. Phir, is yakeen wale logon mein, lagbhag usi pal ek doosra ehsaas aata hai, sharm ya ghabrahat ki ek kaundh, jo kehti hai “Bas, ruko”.
Gussa soch se pehle pahunch sakta hai. Kuch logon ko wo tab aata lagta hai jab koi baat na-insaaf lage, had paar ho, ya suni na jaaye. Dhakkan itni jaldi lag jaata hai ki ye dekhne ka waqt hi nahi milta ki gussa kis baare mein tha.
Gusse ke pehle secondon mein aapka sharir kya karta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aur ek pal baad, jab dhakkan neeche aata hai, tab kya karta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kyun lagta hai
Mehsoos karna, aur kar dena, do baatein hain #
Ye yakeen aksar do baatein mila deta hai: gussa mehsoos karna aur us par amal karna. Chillana, darwaza patakna, kadwi baat keh dena, ye harkatein hain. Ehsaas apne aap mein ek ishara hai, aur akela wo kisi ko chot nahi pahunchata.
Dono ke gaddmadd hone se log kuch bhi mehsoos na karne ki koshish mein lag jaate hain. Kuch dekhte hain ki baad mein wo galat insaan par baras padte hain, thande pad jaate hain, ya khud par hi utar aate hain.
Kya inmein kuch jaana-pehchana lagta hai, ya nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Gusse ki baat sochiye to aankhon ke aage kya aata hai: ek ehsaas, ya aisa drishya jo dobara kabhi nahi chahiye?Is par baat kijiye ›
Wo tasveer kahan se aayi hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Andar ki awaaz
Gusse ko daantne wali awaaz #
“Shor mat machao.” “Koi badi baat nahi hai.” “Achhe log gussa nahi karte.” Ye awaaz tez aur sakht hai, aur aksar gusse ke ek second baad aati hai, jaise koi jaldi mein darwaza band kar raha ho.
Kuch log dekhte hain ki ye awaaz apne gusse par toh sakht hai, par doosron ke gusse par naram. Dost ka kisi badtameez driver par bhadakna theek lagta hai; wahi ehsaas apne mein ho to kami lagti hai.
Ye awaaz jab gusse ko daantati hai, to kiski awaaz hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Kya wo aapke apne usoolon jaisi lagti hai, ya bahut pehle kisi aur ke banaye niyam jaisi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kahan se aata hai
Yeh kahan se aa sakta hai
Ye niyam aksar kahan se aata hai #
Kuch logon mein ye bahut pehle shuru hota dikhta hai: “Khabardaar jo awaaz oonchi ki”, gusse mein rone par kamre mein bhej diya jaana, ya aise ghar mein bada hona jahan kisi ka gussa bahut shor wala tha aur mann hi mann thaan lena ki kabhi waisa nahi hona.
Kuch gharon mein gussa sirf kuch logon ko karne ki ijaazat thi, ya uska jawab saza ya chuppi se milta tha, aur wajahein alag-alag hoti hain. Bachcha soch sakta hai ki uska gussa khatarnak ya bura hai. Ghar mein shaanti rakhne ke liye tab ye ek samajhdaari ka niyam tha.
Gussa pehli baar kab aisi cheez lagne laga jo rakhne ki ijaazat nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapke ghar mein kiska gussa chalta tha, aur kiska nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iske neeche ki maanyata
Shaant chehre ke neeche ka niyam #
Neeche aksar koi niyam baitha hota hai: “Gussa aaya to main bura insaan hoon,” ya “Gussa sab bigaad deta hai.” Shaant upari satah doosron ko dikhti hai; niyam wo hai jo har chidh ki kaundh ko khatra bana deta hai.
Aise niyam tathya jaise lagte hain, khaaskar jab log shaant rehne ki taareef karein. Isliye inhein bina dekhe nibhana aasaan hota hai, aur inhein niyam ki tarah pehchan lena kuch logon ke liye shuruaat hoti hai.
Kuch log aise niyam ko bachpan tak le jaate hain, kuch nahi. Dono tarah se ise aaj ke aas-paas ke logon ke saath dekha ja sakta hai.
Ye kin kamron mein ab bhi fit baithta hai, aur kinmein nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iski kya keemat hai
Iski kya keemat hai
Ise nigal jaane ki keemat #
Iska matlab ho sakta hai un baaton par haami bhar dena jo na-insaaf lagi thin, wahi rukhi tippani barson tak sah jaana, galti doosre ki hone par bhi maafi maang lena, ya raat bhar jaagkar sochna ki kya kaha ja sakta tha.
Ek aur chhipi keemat hai. Kuch log dekhte hain ki jab gusse ki ijaazat nahi hoti, to jis cheez ke baare mein wo tha, jaise insaaf ya izzat, us par dhyaan kam jaata hai. Kuch ko ye bhi lagta hai ki unhein theek-theek pata nahi rehta ki wo chahte kya hain.
Kamzori ki wajah se nahi. Baar-baar uthte ehsaas ko dabaye rakhna mehnat hai.
Pichhle saal ise nigalne ki kya keemat rahi: koi haami, koi raat ki neend, kisi dosti mein ankahi baat?Is par baat kijiye ›
Agar yeh aisa hi rahe
Paanch saal aur, nigalte hue #
Ek aam Tuesday ki tasveer banaiye, us din ki jab “Mujhe gussa nahi aana chahiye” zor se baj rahi ho. Ye bas dekhne ki tasveer hai, theek karne ki cheez nahi.
Shayad meeting mein kisi ki tippani par muskurakar nikal jaana, jo parcel nahi aaya us par “Koi baat nahi” type kar dena, ghar lautte hue poora raasta wahi baat dohrana.
Yahan abhi kisi jawab ki zaroorat nahi, aur isse kuch badalna bhi zaroori nahi.
Usmein kya hai: lines, messages, chhoti-chhoti na-insaafiyan, ankahi baatein?Is par baat kijiye ›
Us din kya ho jaata hai, aur kya chupchaap chhoot jaata hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Us din ko dekhkar, agar kuch, to aapko kya dikhta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Gussa ek ehsaas hai, jurm nahi #
Gusse ko dekhne ka ek aur tareeka hai ki wo ehsaas hai, jurm nahi. Kuch logon mein wo tab aata hai jab kuch na-insaaf lage, koi zaroorat poori na ho, ya kisi ke saath bura hua ho. Use mehsoos karne bhar se kuch tay nahi ho jaata.
Kuch logon ko lagta hai ki foran kuch kiye bina ye dekh lena ki gussa kis baare mein hai, unhein zyada chunav deta hai, kam nahi. Jab pata ho ki baat kya hai, to apne waqt par tay kiya ja sakta hai ki kuch karna bhi hai ya nahi.
Pichhli baar ka gussa yaad kijiye.
Agar wo ek seedhe vaakya mein bol paata, to aapse kya kehta?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise jaldi pehchanna
Dobara dekhne par logon ko kya dikhta hai #
Gaur se dekhne par kuch logon ko dikhta hai ki unka gussa kabhi-kabhi kisi aisi cheez ke baare mein tha jiski unhein parwah thi: baat kaat diya jaana, toota hua waada, kisi ka line mein ghus aana.
Kuch ye bhi dekhte hain ki jin logon ki wo izzat karte hain, wo bhi kabhi-kabhi gusse hote hain, aur shaanti se keh dete hain: “Ye mujhe theek nahi laga.” Gussa aur bhalmansahat ek hi insaan mein reh sakte hain.
Pichhli baar aapka kis baare mein tha?Is par baat kijiye ›
Pichhli baar ke gusse ko palatkar dekhein to wo ek seedhe vaakya mein kis baare mein tha?Is par baat kijiye ›
Wo vaakya sirf aapke liye ho to kaisa sunayi dega?Is par baat kijiye ›
Isse sulah
Koi aur insaan banne ki zaroorat nahi #
Gusse se sulah ka matlab zyada chillana nahi, na use sab kuch chalane dena. Shaanti ek qadar bani reh sakti hai. Badalta ye hai ki ehsaas ko hone diya jaata hai, dekha aur suna jaata hai, daanta nahi jaata.
Kuch logon ko “Mujhe gussa hai, aur ye theek hai” sochna “Mujhe gussa hai, aur ye galat hai” se halka lagta hai. Jahan koi jagah sachmuch sunti hi nahi, wahan baat us jagah ki hai, aur aapko use wahan aazmana zaroori nahi.
Gussa ho aur us par sharm na ho, to kaisa lagega?Is par baat kijiye ›
Agli chidh agar apni baat poori kar le, to wo kya kahegi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ek zyada sachcha vaakya
Paas rakhne ke liye ek sachcha vaakya #
“Mujhe gussa nahi aana chahiye” se seedhe uljhne ki jagah, kuch log ek sachchi line paas rakhte hain: “Gussa aa sakta hai, aur uska main kya karoon, ye phir bhi mera chunav hai.” Purane vaakya se seedhi ladai zaroori nahi.
Kuch logon ko lagta hai ki ye shuru mein sach lagna zaroori nahi, aur baar-baar kehne par apni ek line purani ki thodi jagah le leti hai. Kuch ko aisa nahi lagta, aur wo bhi theek hai.
Aapke apne shabdon mein sachcha vaakya kya hoga, jo achha bane rehne ki aapki chaah bhi rakhe aur ehsaas ko bhi rehne de?Is par baat kijiye ›
Kya rehne dein
Kuch din dhakkan jaldi gir jaata hai #
Kuch dinon mein purana dhakkan pehle jitni hi tezi se gir sakta hai. Ye purani aadat hai, aur kuch logon mein thakan mein ya achanak pakde jaane par sabse tez chalti hai. Ye bhi chalta hai.
Kuch logon ko baad mein bina daante ise dekh lena madad karta hai: “Lo, gir gaya dhakkan.” Kabhi pal mein chup rehna hi samajhdaari hoti hai.
Shaam bhar ke liye gussa neeche rakh dene ka matlab ye nahi ki jo hua wo theek tha, ya baat suljh gayi. Bas itna ki use raat bhar dohrana zaroori nahi.
Ehsaas ko ye na batana ki uska hona galat tha, kaisa lagega?Is par baat kijiye ›
Agar yeh dheela pade
Aur agar niyam thoda bhi dheela ho #
Sirf tasveer ki tarah sochiye ki ye yakeen ek darja dheema hai. Gussa ab bhi aata hai, par wo notice karne ka ehsaas hai, chhipane ki kami nahi.
Chhoti cheezein kaafi ho sakti hain: line todne wale ko shaam bhar na dohrana, chai par kisi dost se kehna “Wo baat mujhe khatki”, kisi baat par haami bharne se pehle chupchaap jaan lena ki aap chahte kya the.
Yahan kisi se kuch kehne ki zaroorat nahi. Jo bhi aaye, wo aapka hai, aur gaur karne layak hai. Agar ise theek se dekhna chahein, to baatcheet bas ek tap door hai.
Sabse pehle kya alag lagta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapki pehli chhoti cheez kya hogi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Try karne ki chhoti cheezein
Try karne ke liye kuch
Kuch cheezein jo logon ko kaam ki lagti hain #
- Jab garmi uthe to mann mein naam dijiye: “Ye gussa hai”, bina judge kiye
- Chupchaap poochiye: ye kis ore ishara kar raha hai, kya na-insaaf laga?
- Dekhiye pal ka kaun sa hissa zyada tez hai: shabd, ya lehja
- Baad mein ek shaant vaakya sochiye, sirf apne liye, jo bataye ki gusse ka matlab kya tha
- Jab awaaz kahe “Shor mat machao”, jodiye: “Bina shor kiye bhi mehsoos kiya ja sakta hai”
Chhote aur sab apni marzi se. Jo aasaan lage, wo aazmaiye.
Ek sawaal chuniye
Baat kijiye #
Kisi ek par tap kijiye. Dr. Thoughts ke saath chat usi sawaal se khulegi: free, private, shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi.
- Gussa sabse zyada kab neeche dab jaata hai?
- Gussa uthne par kis baat ka darr lagta hai ki wo kya kar dega?
- Gusse ke theek baad kaun sa ehsaas aata hai: sharm, darr, apradh-bodh, ya kuch aur?
- Jis aam din ye niyam zor se bole, tab bhi kya tal raha hoga?
- Agar ye thoda halka ho, to sabse pehle aapko kya dikhega?