Andar
Andar kya chal raha hai #
Teen baatein jo aksar in shabdon ke neeche hoti hain.
Parivaar aksar un vishayon par chup ho jaate hain jo unhein jokhim bhare lagte hain: koi faisla jisse dar lage, koi chot jiska naam nahi liya gaya, koi fikr jise wo suljha nahi sakte.
Bahut log bina bataye jaante the ki ghar mein kin baaton par baat nahi hoti.
Neeche ek niyam bas sakta hai: “Agar unhein bura lage toh apni baat apne tak rakhni chahiye.”
Reactions
Log aksar kya karte hain #
- Baat uthana band kar dena, aur akele dhona
- Phir zor se uthana, aur dekhna ki wo aur jaldi band hui
- Hafton tak use kehne ka behtar tareeka sochte rehna
- Ghar ke alawa har jagah us par baat karna
- Baaki shaam bujhe-bujhe bita dena
Deck
6 cards mein poori kahani #
Chhe chhote cards, us pal se chhod dene tak.
Appam aur curry ke beech bakery
Kochi mein hafte ki ek raat ka dinner. Appam aur fish curry ke beech aap aakhir wo baat chhedte ho jo mahinon se mann mein hai: apni bakery shuru karne ki. Papa plate zara zor se rakhte hain. “Ye sab baatein ghar mein nahi hotin.” Mummy cousin ki shaadi ki saadiyan yaad dilati hain, aur mez aage badh jaati hai. Aapka khana bina swaad ke khatam hota hai.
Bura lage toh apne tak rakho
Pehle seedhi baat: vishay ka band ho jaana is baat ka sahi faisla nahi ki wo maayne rakhta hai ya aap. Par aise dinner se ek niyam ugta hai aur aapka ban jaata hai: “Unhein bura lage toh apne tak rakho.” Ye lihaaz jaisa lagta hai. Par dekhiye ye karta kya hai: jo baat aapke liye sabse zaroori hai, use kahin jaane ki jagah nahi milti.
Ghar ki shaanti hum kyun rakhte hain
Hum aisa niyam isliye pakadte hain ki apne parivaar se pyaar hai aur unhein dukh ya fikr nahi dena chahte. Bahut log bina bataye jaante the ki ghar mein kin baaton par baat nahi hoti. Shayad aapke ghar mein bhi chuppiyon ka ek naqsha tha. Ghar mein shaanti chahna galat nahi. Wo apnon ki gehri parwah se aati hai. Use narmi chahiye, dosh nahi.
Dinner par aadhe-adhoore
Keemat chupchaap chukti hai aur judti jaati hai. Dinner aadhe-adhoore beette hain. Bada faisla mahinon raat do baje akele socha jaata hai. Aap roz ke sawaalon ke jawab dete ho, sahi jagah hanste ho, phir bhi sote waqt lagta hai ki koi jaanta nahi. Ghar mein aapka chhota, aasaan roop aata hai, asli roop darwaze ke bahar intezaar karta hai. Apne hi parivaar mein mehmaan jaisa lag sakta hai.
Kya chup rehna iske layak hai?
Khud se imaandaari se poochiye: is niyam ko pakadne se kya wo baat kabhi kam zaroori hui? Ya zyadatar aap use akele dhote rahe? Band darwaza batata hai ki vishay unke liye kitna mushkil hai. Wo tay nahi karta ki aapke liye kya zaroori hai. Yahan koi galat jawab nahi. Chahein toh ek pal iske saath baithiye. Kya is niyam ko itna kasakar pakadna us keemat ke layak hai?
Ankaha ho tab bhi maayne rakhta hai
Chhodne ka matlab ye nahi ki band karna theek tha, ya chubha nahi. Matlab ye hai ki jis cheez ki aapko parwah hai, use maayne rakhne ke liye ab unki ijaazat nahi chahiye. Use din ki roshni mein socha, waqt diya aur gambheerta se liya ja sakta hai, mez par jagah milne se pehle bhi. Shuruaat chhoti ho sakti hai, ek shaam se. Wahin chain lautta hai: ghar mein bhi aap poore reh sakte ho.
If being shut down ever comes with threats, being hurt or frightened, or your phone, money or papers being taken, that is not everyday and is worth taking seriously.
Palat
Purana rule, aur try karne ke liye ek naya #
Purana ruleUnhein bura lage toh main apni baat apne tak rakhoon.
Try karne ke liye naya ruleYe mere liye maayne rakhta hai, bhale unke liye sunna mushkil ho.
Teen chhote din
3 din try kijiye #
- Din 1
Vishay band hone par us sapaat ehsaas ko mann mein naam dijiye
- Din 2
Us ankahi baat ko das minute apni soch dijiye
- Din 3
Wo ek waqt yaad kijiye jab aapki baat sach mein suni gayi
Is par baat karni hai?
“Wo kaun si baat hai jo aap ghar par sabse zyada kehna chahte hain, par keh nahi paate?”
Free aur private. Shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi. Chat isi sawaal se khulti hai.
Yeh deck jo kuch jaanta hai
Aur gehraai mein #
Yeh kaisa sunai deta hai, kahan se aata hai, iski kya keemat hai, aur ise dekhne ke doosre tareeke. Har sawaal par chat khulti hai.
Yeh kaisa lagta hai
Kya kaha gaya
Ek line, aur vishay gaayab #
Kochi mein Edapally ke flat mein hafte ki ek aam raat ka dinner. Appam aur fish curry ke beech aap mahinon se mann mein chal rahi baat dheere se chhedte ho: apna chhota bakery ka kaam shuru karne ki. Papa plate zara zor se rakhte hain: “Ye sab baatein ghar mein nahi hotin.”
Phir Mummy cousin ki shaadi ki saadiyon ki baat chhed deti hain, aur mez aage badh jaati hai. Shabd ek topic ke baare mein hain, par chubhta kuch aur hai: jo baat aapke liye sabse zaroori hai, use ankaha bana diya gaya, pehla vaakya poora hone se pehle hi.
Aakhri baar kab koi vishay aise band kiya gaya?Is par baat kijiye ›
Use uthate waqt aap kya hone ki ummeed kar rahe the, aur baat palatne se pehle kitni door pahunche?Is par baat kijiye ›
Pehle kuch pal
Jawab dene se pehle hi kyun lagta hai #
Kisi ke seene mein dhakka-sa lagta hai, aankhon ke peeche garmi, aur kamra aage badhta rahe toh ajeeb-si sapaatata. Koi turant hanskar taal deta hai; koi chup hokar khana khata rehta hai. Isme natak ya zyada react karne jaisa kuch nahi.
Apnon ke beech baat kaati jaye toh ek purani zaroorat chhoo jaati hai: apnon se suna jaana. Sharir shabdon par nahi, us par react karta hai. Poora jawab aksar baad mein aata hai, raat ko jaagte hue, us shaant tareeke ki rehearsal karte hue jo shayad chal jaata.
Ye pehla khinchav batata hai ki ye baat aapke liye kitni maayne rakhti hai.
Vishay band hua toh aapke sharir ne kya kiya?Is par baat kijiye ›
Dhakelne ka mann hua, samjhane ka, ya plate mein gum ho jaane ka?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kyun lagta hai
Ye zaroori baat par darwaza band kar deta hai #
Jab koi vishay band kar diya jaata hai, toh sandesh topic se bada lag sakta hai: sirf “Abhi nahi” nahi, “Aapka ye hissa nahi.” Jo ankaha reh jaata hai wo gaayab nahi hota, use bas koi jagah nahi milti. Isiliye mez par ek chhoti line bhare kamre mein akela kar deti hai.
Parivaar aksar un vishayon par chup ho jaate hain jo unhein jokhim bhare lagte hain: koi faisla jisse dar lage, koi chot jiska naam nahi liya gaya, koi fikr jise wo suljha nahi sakte. Chuppi dar se aaye, pyaar se ya aadat se, bahar khade insaan ko wo band darwaza hi lagti hai.
Intezaar bhi hai. Har baar band hone par dobara chhedna bhaari lagta hai, toh baat kam uthti hai, aur jo aap sochte hain aur jo ghar mein kaha jaata hai, unke beech faasla badhta jaata hai.
Ab ye faasla kitna ho gaya hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Andar ki awaaz
Jab chuppi andar aa jaye #
Baar-baar band kiye jao toh ye kaam ek awaaz khud karne lagti hai. “Rehne do, sabka mood kharab hoga.” “Shayad itni zaroori baat hai bhi nahi.” “Mujhse hi har baat mein dikkat kyun ho jaati hai?” Ye munh kholne se pehle hi chalu ho sakti hai.
Parivaar shayad aage badh gaya, par chuppi aapke sar mein kaam karti rehti hai, aur kuch samay baad wo unka niyam nahi, achhi samajh lagne lagti hai: samajhdaari wali baat, bhali baat, surakshit baat.
Baat na uthane ko kiski awaaz kehti hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapki, ya us awaaz ki jisne bahut pehle seekha ki mez par kaun se vishay chalte hain?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kahan se aata hai
Yeh kahan se aa sakta hai
Kai logon ke liye kuch vishay hamesha se mana the #
Bahut log bina bataye jaante the ki ghar mein kin baaton par baat nahi hoti. Paison ki tangi, shaadi, ek chacha jinhone aana band kar diya, leek se hatkar koi career. “Ghar ki baat ghar mein hi rehni chahiye.” Bachche chuppiyon ka naqsha bahut jaldi seekh lete hain.
Kuch parivaar kisi ko bachane ke liye chup rahe, kuch jhagde se bachne ke liye, kuch isliye ki kisi ne unhein mushkil baatein karna sikhaya hi nahi, aur wajahein alag-alag hain. Bachcha chupchaap ye nateeja nikal sakta hai ki uske kuch hisse kamre se bahar rakhna hi behtar hai.
Jis ghar mein aap bade hue, wahan kaun se vishay mez se bahar the?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapne kaise jaana, aur aapka kaun sa hissa unke saath chup ho gaya?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iske neeche ki maanyata
Neeche chalta ek chupchaap niyam #
Neeche ek niyam bas sakta hai: “Agar unhein bura lage toh apni baat apne tak rakhni chahiye.” Kuch log bhaari roop dhote hain: “Meri chaahat doosron ke liye pareshani hai.”
Aise niyam niyam jaise lagte hi nahi. Wo bas lihaaz lagte hain, ghar ki shaanti rakhna, kisi ki fikr na badhana. Isiliye inhein halke se bahar nikalkar dekhna theek hai, kisi ke baare mein kuch tay kiye bina.
Kuch log ise bachpan se jodte hain, kuch nahi.
Dono tarah se ise dekha ja sakta hai: agar aapki zaroori cheezein wahin reh sakti hain jahan kisi ko bura na lage, toh unke liye kitni jagah bachti hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ye kin kamron mein ab bhi fit hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iski kya keemat hai
Iski kya keemat hai
Apne tak rakhne ki keemat #
Iska matlab ho sakta hai aadhe-adhoore baithe dinner, koi faisla jise mahinon akele socha, apne hi parivaar mein mehmaan jaisa ehsaas. Kuch log ghar mein apna chhota, aasaan roop dikhane lagte hain, aur asli roop bahar ke liye rakh lete hain.
Ek dheemi keemat bhi hai. Jab sabse zaroori baat kahi hi nahi ja sakti, toh baaki baatein bhi halki lagne lagti hain. Aap sahi jagah hanste ho, roz ke sawaalon ke jawab dete ho, aur phir bhi raat ko lagta hai ki sabse kareebi log aapko jaante hi nahi.
Ye kamzori ki wajah se nahi. Kisi zaroori cheez ko taale mein rakhna thakata hai.
Pichhle saal iski keemat kya rahi: koi plan jo talta raha, koi shaam jab sab bahut door lage, koi nazdeeki jo chhoot gayi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Agar yeh aisa hi rahe
Paanch saal aur, band darwaze ke saath #
Kisi aam shaam ki tasveer banaiye, us din ki jab “Unhein bura lage toh apne tak rakho” zor se baj raha ho. Ye bas dekhne ki tasveer hai, theek karne ko kuch nahi.
Shayad ek dinner jahan roz ke sawaalon ke jawab auto-pilot par diye jaate hain, ek plan jo sirf dimaag mein hai, ghar ke phone ki ek call jismein hafte ki sabse zaroori baat aati hi nahi. Shayad aapka wo roop jo ghar se bahar hi dikhta hai.
Yahan abhi kisi cheez ka jawab nahi chahiye, aur tasveer jab chahein neeche rakhi ja sakti hai.
Usmein kya hai: baatein, chuppiyan, sochi par na kahi gayi baatein?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise dekhte hue, agar kuch, toh aapko kya dikhta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Band kiya gaya, yaani bematlab nahi #
Vishay band hona ye batata hai ki kamra usse kaise nipatta hai. Isse tay nahi hota ki wo vishay maayne rakhta hai ya nahi. Dono sach ho sakte hain: parivaar ko sunna bahut mushkil lage, aur wo phir bhi aapki zindagi ki sabse zaroori cheezon mein ho.
Jawab shayad hi kabhi “Iski koi ahmiyat nahi” hota, bhale aapki jagah se band darwaza wahi sunayi de.
Poochiye: uske uthte hi theek-theek kya hota hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Dar, koi fikr jise wo suljha nahi sakte, unki apni koi purani chot?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ek aur tareeka: agar koi dost bataye ki jo cheez use sabse pyaari hai us par ghar ki mez par kabhi baat ki ijaazat nahi mili, toh aap use us cheez ke baare mein kya jaanna chahenge?Is par baat kijiye ›
Kya kahenge ki uski ahmiyat hi nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise jaldi pehchanna
Gaur se dekhne par logon ko kya dikhta hai #
Jab log us pal ko dheere-dheere dekhte hain, toh kuch ko dikhta hai ki band karna tezi se hua, lagbhag aadatan, vishay poora kahe jaane se pehle hi. Wo dar ki jaldbaazi ho sakti hai, aapke ya aapki chaahat ke baare mein soch-samajhkar sunaya faisla nahi.
Kuch ko dikhta hai ki vishay unke andar shaant hua hi nahi. Wo nahate hue, bus mein, der raat socha jaata hai, aur chupchaap baantne ki cheez se akele dhoyi jaane wali cheez ban gaya hai.
Jo ankaha hai, wo sirf aapke sunne par kaisa lagta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aur agar kamra abhi na de paye, toh use apna poora dhyaan dena kaisa hoga?Is par baat kijiye ›
Isse sulah
Pehle kamra jeetna zaroori nahi #
Sulah ka matlab ye nahi ki band karna theek tha, ya vishay hamesha band rahe. Matlab bas itna ki band darwaze ka is par kam chale ki ye cheez aapke liye maayne rakh sakti hai ya nahi.
Kuch logon ko halka lagta hai jab wo apne vicharon ko gambheerta se lene ke liye parivaar ki ijaazat ka intezaar chhod dete hain. Jo aapke liye maayne rakhta hai, use socha, mehsoos kiya aur sanjoya ja sakta hai, chahe khane ki mez par uski jagah abhi bani na ho.
Kaisa lagega agar aaj raat apni chaahat ko apne waqt ke layak maanein, kisi ke sehmat hone ka intezaar kiye bina?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ek zyada sachcha vaakya
Paas rakhne ke liye ek sachcha vaakya #
Agar “Unhein bura lage toh apne tak rakho” barson se chal raha hai, toh usse seedhe ladne ki zaroorat nahi. Kuch log iske bajaye ek sachchi line rakhte hain: “Ye mere liye maayne rakhta hai, bhale unke liye sunna mushkil ho.”
Ye shuru mein sach lagna zaroori nahi. Itna kaafi hai ki purani wali se zyada sahi ho, aur kuch logon ko lagta hai ki ghar lautte hue dheere se kehne par wo purane niyam ki thodi jagah le leti hai.
Aapke apne shabdon mein sachcha vaakya kya hoga, jo unke prati naram ho aur aapse gaayab ho jaane ko na kahe?Is par baat kijiye ›
Kya rehne dein
Kuch baatein bas neeche rakhi ja sakti hain #
Har band hui baatcheet ko dobara ladna, behtar bhashan dena ya agli baar ka plan banana zaroori nahi. Kuch ko dekha ja sakta hai, ek pal mehsoos kiya ja sakta hai, aur neeche rakha ja sakta hai, jaise khane ke baad plates utha li jaati hain aur mez ponchh di jaati hai.
Iska matlab vishay chhod dena nahi. Iska matlab chunna hai ki aaj raat aapki urja kahan jaye, aur kuch log kehte hain isse baat ko apni jagah milti hai: use sochna, kalpana karna, use uski apni sharton par chahna.
Aaj shaam ise neeche rakhne ka matlab ye nahi ki sab sahi tha ya tay ho gaya. Bas itna ki khane ki mez se nikalkar ise baaki har cheez mein nahi jaana.
Agar yeh dheela pade
Aur agar niyam thoda bhi dheela ho #
Sirf ek tasveer ki tarah sochiye ki niyam ek darja dheema ho gaya hai. Unka sukoon ab bhi aapke liye maayne rakhta hai, par isse tay nahi hota ki aapki zaroori cheezon ko hone ki ijaazat hai ya nahi.
Chhoti cheezein kaafi ho sakti hain: plan ke baare mein raat do baje ki jagah din ki roshni mein sochna, band hue dinner ki chubhan jo raat bhar na tike, ya jis cheez ki aapko parwah hai use apne waqt ke layak maanna.
Yahan kisi se kuch kehne ki zaroorat nahi. Jo bhi aaye, wo aapka hai, aur gaur karne layak hai. Agar ise theek se dekhna chahein, toh baatcheet bas ek tap door hai.
Sabse pehle kya alag lagta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapki pehli chhoti cheez kya hogi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Try karne ki chhoti cheezein
Try karne ke liye kuch
Kuch chhoti cheezein jo log aazmate hain #
- Jab vishay band ho, us sapaat ehsaas ko pehchankar naam dijiye
- Jawab dene se pehle ek dheemi saans lijiye aur pairon ko farsh par mehsoos kijiye
- Chupchaap khud se poochiye: unhein asal mein kya samjhana hai?
- Aaj das minute us ankahi baat ko apni soch dijiye
- Koi ek waqt yaad kijiye jab aapke liye zaroori baat sach mein suni gayi
Chhote, nijee aur sab apni marzi se. Jo aasaan lage, wo aazmaiye.
Ek sawaal chuniye
Baat kijiye #
Kisi ek par tap kijiye. Dr. Thoughts ke saath chat usi sawaal se khulegi: free, private, shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi.
- Wo kaun si baat hai jo aap ghar par sabse zyada kehna chahte hain, par keh nahi paate?
- Uske uthte hi theek-theek kya hota hai?
- Bachpan mein aapke ghar mein kaun se vishay mez se bahar the?
- Jis aam din ye niyam zor se bole, aap ab bhi kya taal rahe honge?
- Agar ye thoda halka ho, toh sabse pehle aapko kya dikhega?