Andar
Andar kya chal raha hai #
Teen baatein jo aksar in shabdon ke neeche hoti hain.
Asli logon se tulna kam-se-kam parkhi ja sakti hai.
Kuch log aise bade hue ki unhein doosre bachchon ke bagal mein khada kiya jata raha, asli ya aadhe-banaye hue, aur jaldi seekh liya ki hamesha koi aur hai jo zyada fit baithta.
Neeche-neeche ek maanyata baith sakti hai: “Mujhe apni jagah kamaani hai,” ya “Main kaafi achha nahi hoon.”
Reactions
Log aksar kya karte hain #
- Har baar jaane par zyada mehnat karna, kamre se behtar number ki ummeed mein
- Hanskar taal dena, phir der raat use dohrana
- Agle function mein chehre dekhna ki wahi faisla toh nahi jhalak raha
- Us family mein apni raay daba lena, taaki tulna ko aur kuch na mile
- Kalpanik logon se khud ko ek-ek gun par taulna
Deck
6 cards mein poori kahani #
Chhe chhote cards, us pal se chhod dene tak.
Kitchen tak pahunchi ek tippani
Amritsar mein sasural ka ek Sunday. Kitchen mein chai ki tray sajate hue aapko baithak se partner ki bua ki awaaz sunayi deti hai: “Humare bete ke liye toh rishton ki line lagi thi, wo kisi se bhi shaadi kar sakta tha.” Shabd patile ki bhaap ke saath andar tairte hain. Aap chammach chalate rehte ho, chehra tapa hua. Us shaam taareefein bhi exam ka hissa lagti hain.
Jagah ke liye saabit karna
Seedhi baat: aapke baare mein aise bolna theek nahi, aur ye aapki keemat ka paimana nahi hai. Par isse ek niyam nikal sakta hai, aur wo aapka ban jaata hai: “Mujhe saabit karna hai ki is family mein meri jagah banti hai.” Ye ghul-milne ki koshish jaisa lagta hai. Par dekhiye ye karta kya hai: har mulaqat aisa exam ban jaati hai jismein aap kabhi poore pass nahi hote.
Hum apnaye jaana kyun chahte hain
Aisa niyam hum isliye pakadte hain ki naye parivaar mein apnaye jaana chahte hain. Ye bahut insaani chaah hai, aur aam bhi. Zyadatar log iska koi roop dhote hain. Shaayad aapne pasand kiye jaane ke liye bahut mehnat ki. Shaayad jaldi apnapan lagne ki ummeed thi. Apnaye jaane ki chaah kamzori nahi. Ye apnapan chahne se aati hai, aur ise dosh nahi, narmi chahiye.
Har mulaqat ek exam
Suni hui har tippani exam mein judti jaati hai. Dheere-dheere sab jama ho jaata hai. Ye itna dheema hota hai ki pata nahi chalta. Har mulaqat mein aap aur mehnat karte ho. Kya pehnein, kya bolein, is par dobara sochte ho. Lautte hue chhote palon ko dohrate ho. Mulaqatein thaka deti hain, aur aapke un hisson se nazar hat jaati hai jinka unki raay se koi lena-dena nahi.
Kya unka exam pass karna laayak?
Khud se imaandaari se poochhiye: kya is niyam ko pakde rakhne se kabhi aapko zyada apnapan laga? Ya zyadatar har mulaqat thaka dene wali rahi? Aapki keemat kisi ki manzoori jeetne par tiki nahi. Suni hui ek line aapka paimana nahi. Yahan koi galat jawab nahi. Chahein to ek pal iske saath rukiye. Kya is niyam ko itna kasakar pakde rakhna us keemat ke laayak hai jo ye maangta hai?
Aisi keemat jise manzoori nahi chahiye
Chhodne ka matlab ye nahi ki tippani theek thi, ya aapko wo pasand aani chahiye. Matlab ye ki apni jagah baar-baar saabit karna zaroori nahi rehta. Aap mulaqat mein apne jaise reh sakte ho aur apni keemat jaante ho. Shuruaat chhoti ho sakti hai, ek pal se. Wahin se kuch chain lautta hai: exam aapke apne sir mein khatam ho jaata hai, tippaniyan chalti rahein tab bhi.
If remarks at your in-laws' ever come with threats, being hurt, frightened, controlled or kept from people, that is something else, and worth taking seriously.
Palat
Purana rule, aur try karne ke liye ek naya #
Purana ruleMujhe saabit karna hai ki is family mein meri jagah banti hai.
Try karne ke liye naya ruleMeri keemat unki manzoori par tiki nahi hai.
Agli baar ke liye
Agli baar try kijiye #
- Kadam 1
Milne se pehle apne baare mein ek achhi baat ka naam lijiye
- Kadam 2
Ek tippani ko unki hi rehne dijiye, use dohraye bina
- Kadam 3
Mulaqat ke baad apne liye ek shaant kaam kijiye
Is par baat karni hai?
“Jab “kisi se bhi shaadi kar sakta tha” kaha gaya, tab kamre mein aur kisne suna, aur usne kya kiya?”
Free aur private. Shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi. Chat isi sawaal se khulti hai.
Yeh deck jo kuch jaanta hai
Aur gehraai mein #
Yeh kaisa sunai deta hai, kahan se aata hai, iski kya keemat hai, aur ise dekhne ke doosre tareeke. Har sawaal par chat khulti hai.
Yeh kaisa lagta hai
Kya kaha gaya
Paanch shabd, aur peechhe anjaanon ki qatar #
Amritsar mein sasural ki kitchen mein chai ki tray sajate hue, ya kisi rishtedaar ki shaadi ki dari par baithe hue, ya gallery mein. “Humare bete ke liye toh rishton ki line lagi thi.” Ya beti ke liye: “Humari beti ko toh ek se ek rishte aaye the.” Kamre ke paar kahi gayi, ya bas itni oonchi ki sunayi de jaye.
Bachcha chahe jo ho, is vaakya ka kaam ajeeb hai. Ye un logon ki poori bheed ko kamre mein le aata hai jo kabhi wahan the hi nahi, jinhein chuna ja sakta tha, aur aapko unke bagal mein khada karke, poori family ke saamne, tulna par rakh deta hai.
“Kisi se bhi shaadi kar sakta tha” jaisa kuch sunte waqt aap kahan khade the, aur kamre mein aur kisne suna?Is par baat kijiye ›
Pehle kuch pal
Jab kamra aapko taulta lage #
Kuch log batate hain ki pet mein dhak se hota hai, smile apne-aap chalti rehti hai, ya achanak kaam mein lag jaane ki dhun chadhti hai: tray dobara sajana, aisa kuch sametna jo pehle se sameta tha. Kuch bilkul tham jaate hain. Ye sab ho sakta hai, aur kisi ko safayi nahi deni.
Jo log wahan hain hi nahi, unse taule jaane ko body ek second mein pakad leti hai. Kuch ko sochna baad mein aata hai, raat ko, andhere mein wo jawab gadhte hue jo kabhi kahe nahi jaate.
“Kisi se bhi shaadi kar sakta tha” sunne ke baad us shaam ka baaki hissa aapne kaise bitaya, aur uska kaun-sa pal ab bhi sabse saaf yaad hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kyun lagta hai
Ye aapko unse taulta hai jo aaye hi nahi #
“Pehle hum aapko jaante nahi the” waqt ki baat hai. “Kisi se bhi shaadi kar sakta tha” usse aage jaati hai: ye ek insaan ko kalpana ke doosre rishton ki qatar ke bagal mein rakh deti hai. Mann ranking sunta hai, aur ranking ka ant nahi, kyunki qatar kalpanik hai.
Asli logon se tulna kam-se-kam parkhi ja sakti hai. Jo bas ek vaakya mein hain, unse tulna nahi parkhi ja sakti, isliye wo mann mein bina jawab ke baith sakti hai, aur insaan jo sabak le sakta hai wo ye hai: “Yahan mujhe kisi behtar ke saamne naapa jayega.”
Agar kalpanik qatar ko pal bhar ke liye hata dein, to “kisi se bhi shaadi kar sakta tha” mein kya bachta hai, aur chubhan ka kitna hissa usi qatar se aaya tha?Is par baat kijiye ›
Andar ki awaaz
Jab kalpanik qatar andar bolne lage #
Baar-baar suno to ye andar aa jaata hai. “Koi aur hota to jaanta kya bolna hai.” “Unhein shaayad koi aisa chahiye tha jo…” “Unhein ek aur wajah mat dena.” Kabhi-kabhi tulna darwaza khulne se pehle hi chal chuki hoti hai.
Rishtedaar shaayad doosre shehar mein hon, par naapna ab andar hota hai: milne se pehle gift chuna aur phir badla jaata hai, mehfil mein kahani beech mein kaat di jaati hai, chhoti kamyabi halki kar di jaati hai. Kyunki ye aapki apni awaaz mein bolti hai, ye samajhdaari jaisi lagti hai.
Family se milne se pehle “koi aur” se tulna kiski awaaz mein chalti hai, aur uska kitna hissa pehli baar kehne wale jaisa lagta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kahan se aata hai
Yeh kahan se aa sakta hai
Kuch logon ke liye tulna school se shuru hui #
“Apne cousin jaisa kyun nahi ban sakta?” “Sharma ji ki beti ko dekho.” Kuch log aise bade hue ki unhein doosre bachchon ke bagal mein khada kiya jata raha, asli ya aadhe-banaye hue, aur jaldi seekh liya ki hamesha koi aur hai jo zyada fit baithta.
Kuch families mein tulna baat karne ka aam tareeka hai, aur wajahein ghar-ghar mein alag hoti hain. Insaan chupchaap jo le sakta hai wo ye ehsaas hai ki kisi bhi family mein jagah muqable mein kamaani padti hai, aur usi muqable mein ja bhi sakti hai.
Aapki tulna pehli baar kisi aise se kab hui jo kamre mein tha hi nahi, aur kisne ki, kis tarah ke mauke par?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iske neeche ki maanyata
Neeche-neeche baith sakne wala ek chupchaap niyam #
Neeche-neeche ek maanyata baith sakti hai: “Mujhe apni jagah kamaani hai,” ya “Main kaafi achha nahi hoon.” Kuch log iska naram roop dhote hain: “Is family mein main tab tak doosra option hoon jab tak saabit na kar doon.”
Aisi maanyata maanyata jaisi lagti hi nahi. Lagti hai naye insaan ko family kaise dekhti hai, iski haqeeqat jaisi, nayi job ke us lambe probation jaisi. Isiliye ise nikaalkar achhi roshni mein dekhna theek hai.
Kuch log aise niyam ko bachpan tak le jaate hain, kuch nahi. Dono tarah ise dekha ja sakta hai.
“Jab tak saabit na karoon, main doosra option hoon” kin kamron mein ab bhi fit baithta hai, aur kinmein nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iski kya keemat hai
Iski kya keemat hai
Kalpanik pratidwandwi ke saath jeene ki keemat #
Iska matlab ho sakta hai dikhawe mein beetati mulaqatein, zaroorat se zyada sochkar chune gift, mehfil mein katri hui raay, har kamyabi behtar number ki aas mein sunayi gayi. Kuch log us family mein sahaj rehna kab ka chhod chuke hote hain, unhein khud pata bhi nahi chalta.
Ek dheemi keemat bhi hai. Jo hain hi nahi, unse muqabla aisi daud hai jiski finish line nahi, aur ye har milne ki sahajta chheen sakta hai, achhe mauko ki bhi. Saal bhar mein ye dher saari shaamein ho jaati hain jo jagah ki audition mein nikli.
Ye kamzori se nahi. Har mulaqat mein tulna dhona bhaari kaam hai.
Pichhle saal mein kya gaya: chehre taakti ek achhi shaam, halki ki gayi chhoti jeet, exam ki tarah taiyaar ki gayi ek mulaqat?Is par baat kijiye ›
Agar yeh aisa hi rahe
Kalpanik pratidwandwi ke saath paanch aur saal #
Kisi aam Tuesday ki tasveer banaiye, aise din ki jab “jab tak saabit na karoon, main doosra option hoon” zor se baj raha ho. Ye bas dekhne ki tasveer hai, theek karne ko kuch nahi.
Shaayad family group ka ek message do baar padha gaya, ek chhoti jeet aise batayi jaise yun hi, ki kahin lag jaye, exam ki tarah taiyaar kiya gaya weekend, mehfil mein ankaha reh gaya ek mazaak. Kuch jaana-pehchana ho sakta hai, kuch bilkul nahi.
Yahan kuch sulajhana nahi, aur tasveer jab chahein chhodi ja sakti hai.
Usmein kya hai: calls, plans, wo cheezein jinhein kisi aur ke kiye se taula jata hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Isme aap kya dekhte ho?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Kisi se bhi, par kis paimane par? #
“Kisi se bhi” samajh mein aane ke liye paimana maangta hai, aur paimana kabhi bataya nahi jaata.
Kalpanik pratidwandwi mein koi kami nahi hoti, kyunki use kisi ne bure din mein dekha hi nahi. Asli insaan ki asli aadaton aur thaki shaamon ke bagal mein rakhne par kalpanik wala behtar lagta hai, aur wo kalpana ke baare mein zyada kehta hai, kisi asli ke baare mein kam.
Kisme behtar: baatcheet, tehzeeb, sahi tarah ka mazaak, ghul-mil jaana?Is par baat kijiye ›
Paimana bol diya jaye to kya baat gun ki reh jaati hai, ya is par ki family mein kise jagah mile?Is par baat kijiye ›
Agar aapke dost ke sasural wale aapke dost ke saamne kehte “kisi se bhi shaadi kar sakta tha”, to kamre ke paar apne dost ko dekhkar aapko kya dikhta?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise jaldi pehchanna
Gaur se dekhne par logon ko kya dikhta hai #
Jab kuch log us pal ko dheere-dheere dohrate hain, to dekhte hain ki vaakya ne aisa kuch nahi ginaya jo unhone sach mein kiya ho: na koi kaam, na koi tippani, na koi bigdi shaam.
Kuch ko wo log dikhte hain jo tulna karte hi nahi lagte: koi bhabhi ya nanad jo apne bagal mein jagah rakhti hai, koi purana dost jo poochhta hai mulaqat kaisi rahi, koi padosi jo bas pasand karta hai. Kabhi isse madad hoti hai, aur kabhi wo ek vaakya kuch waqt tak zyada jagah gherey rehta hai.
Chot ke aakar ke bagal mein, ye khaali jagah kya dikhati hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapke aaspaas kaun hai jo aapko doosra nahi, pehla chunav maanta hai, aur usne aakhri baar kaun-sa aam kaam kiya jisse ye dikha?Is par baat kijiye ›
Isse sulah
Kisi kalpanik se jeetne ki zaroorat nahi #
Sulah ka matlab tulna se sehmat hona nahi, na ye dikhana ki chubha nahi. Matlab bas itna ki ek shaam ka ek vaakya agli baar family mein jaane ke aapke tareeke par, aur lautte hue khud ko dekhne par, kam chale.
Kuch ko halka lagta hai jab wo kalpanik logon se aage nikalne ki koshish chhod dete hain. Ye muqabla jeeta nahi ja sakta, kyunki jo kabhi asli tha hi nahi use koi nahi hara sakta, aur usmein tike rehne se ek vaakya har mehfil ke beech mein baitha rehta hai.
Jahan kamra sach mein nahi sunta, wo kamre ki baat hai, aur aapko wahin aazmana nahi.
Kaisa lagega agar “kisi se bhi shaadi kar sakta tha” unhin ka vaakya rahe, aur family mein aapki jagah ka ehsaas aapka?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ek zyada sachcha vaakya
Paas rakhne ke liye ek sachcha vaakya #
Agar us shaam se “doosra option” chal raha hai, to usse seedhe ladne ki zaroorat nahi. Kuch log iske bajaay ek line taiyaar rakhte hain: “Jo log kabhi the hi nahi, unse tulna mera paimana nahi hai.”
Ye abhi sach lage, ya kabhi bhi, zaroori nahi. Kuch log ise jeb mein rakhte hain, aur paate hain ki family se milne jaate hue dohrane par tulna ki pakad wali zameen ka thoda hissa dheere-dheere wo le leti hai.
Us family mein apni jagah ke baare mein aapke apne shabdon mein sachcha vaakya kya hoga, jise table par baithe kisi ko maanne ki zaroorat na ho?Is par baat kijiye ›
Kya rehne dein
Kuch cheezein bas neeche rakhi ja sakti hain #
Har “kisi se bhi shaadi kar sakta tha” ko palatwaar, achhaiyon ki list ya impress karne ke plan ki zaroorat nahi. Kuch ko dekha ja sakta hai, ek pal feel kiya ja sakta hai, aur neeche rakha ja sakta hai, jaise seedhi ke upar bhaari thaile.
Ye haar nahi. Ye chunna hai ki energy kahan jaye, aur kuch kehte hain isse family ki aasaan baaton ke liye zyada jagah bachti hai, aur un logon ke liye jo tulna kar hi nahi rahe the.
Aaj shaam vaakya ko neeche rakhne ka matlab ye nahi ki wo theek tha ya baat nipat gayi. Bas itna ki wo aapke saath hafte ke baaki dino mein, ya kisi dost se agli baatcheet mein na chale.
Agar yeh dheela pade
Aur agar tulna thodi bhi dheeli pade #
Sirf tasveer ki tarah sochiye ki niyam ek darja dheema ho gaya. Kalpanik log wahi ban jaate hain jo wo the, ek vaakya, aur family mein jagah bas ek jagah hai.
Chhoti cheezein kaafi ho sakti hain: bina rehearsal ke milne jaana, purane dost ko poori kahani poori sunana, ya aisi shaam jo ye dohraye bina khatam ho ki kisne kya kaha.
Yahan kisi se kuch kehne ki zaroorat nahi. Jo bhi aaye, wo gaur karne laayak hai. Agar ise theek se dekhna chahein, to baatcheet bas ek tap door hai.
Sabse pehle, zara-sa bhi, kya alag lagta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapki pehli chhoti cheez kya hogi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Try karne ki chhoti cheezein
Try karne ke liye kuch
Kuch chhoti cheezein jo log aazmate hain #
- Mann mein naam dijiye: “Lo, wahi kalpanik-muqable wali line”
- Chupchaap poochhiye: kisi se bhi, par kis paimane par?
- Gaur kijiye ki kisne zyada chubhaya: shabdon ne, ya unhein sunne walon ne
- Apne hafte ki ek jagah dekhiye jahan koi tulna karta nahi lagta
- Aaj ki ek chhoti cheez par gaur kijiye jo aapne chahi, chahe kitni bhi chhoti
Chhote, nijee aur sab apni marzi se. Jo aasaan lage, wo aazmaiye.
Ek sawaal chuniye
Baat kijiye #
Kisi ek par tap kijiye. Dr. Thoughts ke saath chat usi sawaal se khulegi: free, private, shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi.
- Jab “kisi se bhi shaadi kar sakta tha” kaha gaya, tab kamre mein aur kisne suna, aur usne kya kiya?
- Wo kalpanik “koi aur” jo aap sochte ho, jab wo vaakya lautta hai, kaun hai?
- Us shaam wo shabd kahe jaate waqt aap chahte the ki family aapmein kya dekhe?
- Jis aam din doosre-option wala niyam zor se bole, aap ab bhi kya taal rahe honge?
- Agar wo niyam thoda dheela pade, to agli baar andar jaate hue sabse pehle kya dikhega?