Andar
Andar kya chal raha hai #
Teen baatein jo aksar in shabdon ke neeche hoti hain.
Dikkat ye hai ki is niyam ki koi had nahi.
Kuch logon ke liye ye bachpan mein rishtedaaron ke ghar se shuru hua: “Wahan kuch mat maangna.
“Maangna badtameezi hai” ke neeche aksar ek aur shaant niyam hota hai: “Achhe log peshkash ka intezaar karte hain.”
Reactions
Log aksar kya karte hain #
- Kehne ki jagah ishaara karna aur ummeed rakhna ki koi samajh jaaye
- Chaah hote hue bhi kehna “aap jo chahein”
- Peshkash ka intezaar karna, aur pehli baar aaye to mana kar dena
- Galat order ya lamba intezaar chupchaap sah lena
- Kuch maangne se pehle teen baar maafi maang lena
Deck
6 cards mein poori kahani #
Chhe chhote cards, us pal se chhod dene tak.
Wo chhutti jiska zikr nahi kiya
Paarivarik khane par sab garmi ki chhutti ka plan bana rahe hain. Gaon jaana hai, har saal ki tarah. Aapka mann hai ki is baar bas ek baar pahaad chalein. Aap bolne ko munh kholte ho, phir band kar lete ho. Zid jaisa lagta hai, khudgarzi jaisa. Ticket waise bhi kat chuke hain. Lautte hue aap khidki se bahar dekhte ho, chupchaap udaas aur apne par thode khafa.
Apni chaah maangna badtameezi hai
Iske neeche ek niyam baitha hai: “Apni chaah maangna badtameezi hai.” Ye tameez wala aur vinamra lagta hai, aur vinamrata achhi cheez hai. Par dekhiye ye karta kya hai: aapki chaahein chhupi rakhta hai, to aaspaas koi unhein jaan hi nahi paata. Aapke din sabki chaahon ke hisaab se dhalte hain, aur aapki andar tah hokar, ankahi aur bhula di jaati hain.
Chup rehne se shaanti kyun rahi
Hum ise isliye pakadte hain ki na maangne se kabhi shaanti rahi. Shayad aap aise ghar mein bade hue jahan maangne wale bachche ko laalchi ya zidi kaha jaata tha. Shayad jaldi seekh liya ki sabke saath haan mein haan milane se log zyada pasand karte hain. Ye niyam bewakoofi nahi, bhala banne aur ghulne-milne ki chaah se uga hai. Ise narmi chahiye, dosh nahi.
Ankahi chaahon ki chhoti khaaiyan
Har ankahi chaah ek chhoti khaai chhodti hai. Aap aise plan mein chale jaate ho jo aapko pasand nahi. Chupchaap kheej hoti hai, phir us kheej ka guilt. Sochte ho ki kisi ko kabhi aapki pasand poochhne ka khayal kyun nahi aata. Dheere-dheere apni hi chaahein kam sachchi lagne lagti hain, mano unki ginti hi nahi, aur bhool jaate ho ki aazaadi hoti to aap kya chunte.
Kya ye chuppi rakhne layak hai?
Imaandaari se poochhiye: kya kabhi na maangne se logon ne aapko zyada chaha? Ya zyadatar aap andekhe mehsoos hue? Bahut log khushi se jaanna chahte hain ki doosre kya chahte hain; isse plan sabke liye aasaan aur barabar bante hain. Jo bhi ho, chaahein chhupana aapki bhalmansahat ka paimana nahi. Is niyam ko itna kaskar pakadna aapko utna nahi deta jitna leta hai.
Aapki chaahein sachchi hain
Chhodne ka matlab ye nahi ki ab har cheez maangni padegi. Matlab ye ki aapki chaahein aapke liye sachchi ho sakti hain, kahi jaayein ya nahi. Aap chupchaap dekh sakte ho ki aap kya chahte ho, aur jaan sakte ho ki wo ginni jaati hai. Yahin kuch chain lautta hai: aapki apni chaahein badtameezi nahi lagtin, aapke hone ka ek aam hissa lagne lagti hain.
If asking for ordinary things, food, money, rest, going out, is ever met with anger, threats or punishment, not asking can be the safe choice; that is something else, and worth taking seriously.
Palat
Purana rule, aur try karne ke liye ek naya #
Purana ruleApni chaah maangna badtameezi hai.
Try karne ke liye naya ruleMeri chaahein sachchi hain, kahi jaayein ya nahi.
Teen chhote din
3 din try kijiye #
- Din 1
Aaj ki ek chaah pehchaniye aur khud ko uska naam bataiye
- Din 2
Is hafte sirf apne liye ek chhoti cheez chuniye
- Din 3
Wo ek waqt yaad kijiye jab kisi ko aapki chaah jaankar khushi hui
Is par baat karni hai?
“Aap sabse zyada kahan ek chhoti chaah nigal jaate hain?”
Free aur private. Shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi. Chat isi sawaal se khulti hai.
Yeh deck jo kuch jaanta hai
Aur gehraai mein #
Yeh kaisa sunai deta hai, kahan se aata hai, iski kya keemat hai, aur ise dekhne ke doosre tareeke. Har sawaal par chat khulti hai.
Yeh kaisa lagta hai
Kya kaha gaya
Tameez jaisa lagne wala ek niyam #
“Apni chaah maangna badtameezi hai.” Ye shayad hi kabhi boli jaati hai. Patna mein Mausi ke ghar baitha mehmaan pyaasa hai par kehta hai “nahin-nahin, rehne dijiye”, ya daftar mein koi chhutti chahta hai par intezaar karta hai ki koi khud poochhe.
Ye dukaan ke counter par bhi dikhta hai: galat order muskurakar le liya, dhaabe par thanda khana bina kuch kahe kha liya, delivery aayi hi nahi aur “chhodo, kya jhanjhat” kehkar baat khatam. Ye milansaar hone jaisa dikhta hai.
Aakhri baar kab koi chhoti-si cheez chahi, ek glass paani ya ek din ki chhutti, aur maangi nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Uski jagah kya kaha, aur baad mein kaisa laga?Is par baat kijiye ›
Pehle kuch pal
Wo baat jo gale mein atak jaati hai #
Aksar sharir pehle harkat karta hai. Baat gale tak aakar ruk jaati hai. Chehra garam ho jaata hai. Ek jhat se muskaan, sir ki halki-si na, aur chaah tah hokar andar chali jaati hai, kisi ke dekhne se pehle.
Phir raahat aati hai, kyunki atpata pal nikal gaya. Aur thodi der baad, kabhi ghar lautte hue, halki khatas: wo paani jo nahin piya, wo cheez jo theek nahin karwayi.
Aap kise zyada mehsoos karte hain: us pal ki raahat ko, ya baad ki khatas ko?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aur agli baar kya karna hai, ye aksar kaun tay karta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kyun lagta hai
Ye narmi hai, aur iski keemat hai #
Ye niyam kisi achhi cheez par khada hai. Kisi ko takleef na dena. Kisi ko mushkil mein na daalna. Pehle doosron ke baare mein sochna. Kai parivaar ise bahut maante hain, aur isme sachcha apnapan hai.
Dikkat ye hai ki is niyam ki koi had nahi. Ye ek glass paani maangne aur koi badi maang rakhne ko ek jaisa maan leta hai. To ek chhoti, aam-si baat bhi badtameezi lagne lagti hai, aur har baar nigal li jaati hai.
Agar roz ki cheezein, khana, paisa, aaram, bahar jaana, maangne par kabhi gussa ya saza milti hai, to na maangna mehfooz chunav ho sakta hai; wo kuch aur baat hai, aur use gambhirta se lena theek hai.
Tameez aur bina kuch paye reh jaane ke beech ki lakeer kahan hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Wo lakeer kahan hai, ye aapko kisne sikhaya?Is par baat kijiye ›
Andar ki awaaz
Wo awaaz jo kehti hai “rehne do, kya zaroorat” #
“Rehne do, kya zaroorat.” “Wo log busy hain.” “Zara-si baat hai, hum adjust kar lenge.” Awaaz narm aur samajhdaar hai. Achhe mehmaan, achhe karmchari, achhe grahak jaisi lagti hai. Isse bahas karna mushkil hai.
Ye aksar doosre ke bolne se pehle uski taraf se bol deti hai. Maan leti hai ki wo chidhenge, takleef mein padenge, ya aapko chhota samjhenge, aur jawab bhi khud de deti hai. Doosre ko haan kehne ka mauka hi nahi milta.
Kitni baar is awaaz ne kisi ki taraf se “na” maan liya, jo shayad “arre, zaroor” kehte?Is par baat kijiye ›
Jab ye kehti hai ki kisi ko tang mat karo, to ye kiski awaaz hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kahan se aata hai
Yeh kahan se aa sakta hai
Aksar kisi aur ki thaali par seekha hua #
Kuch logon ke liye ye bachpan mein rishtedaaron ke ghar se shuru hua: “Wahan kuch mat maangna. Poochhein to pehli baar mein mana kar dena.” Mehmaan ke liye achha niyam, pyaar se sikhaya gaya. Bas baad mein kabhi band nahi hua.
Kuch ko ye dekhkar aaya. Ek maa-baap jo kabhi kisi se kuch nahi maangte the. Ek dadi jo sabke baad khati thin. Kuch gharon mein zarooratein chupchaap aur nijee hoti thin, aur bachche ye dekh lete the.
Jab aap chhote the aur kuch chahkar maanga, to kya hua?Is par baat kijiye ›
De diya gaya, hansi udi, ya bas ek nazar mili?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iske neeche ki maanyata
Iske neeche baitha niyam #
“Maangna badtameezi hai” ke neeche aksar ek aur shaant niyam hota hai: “Achhe log peshkash ka intezaar karte hain.” Ya: “Chahna lalach hai.” Ye niyam vinamra lagte hain. Par ye har chaah ko darwaze par khada rakhte hain.
Kabhi ye niyam samajhdaari tha. Jo bachcha kam maangta, uski taareef hoti, ya kam-se-kam daant nahi padti. Bheed wale ghar mein chaah par chup rehne se shaanti rehti thi. Ghulne-milne ka ye hoshiyar tareeka tha.
Kya wo niyam ab bhi fit hota hai, aapke kaam mein, ghar mein, dukaanon mein?Is par baat kijiye ›
Wo kahan ab bhi kaam aata hai, aur kahan chupke se dene se zyada lene laga hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iski kya keemat hai
Iski kya keemat hai
Ise nigalne ki keemat #
Iska matlab ho sakta hai poori mulaqat pyaase baithe rehna, chhutti maangna bura laga to thakaau hafta yun hi kheench dena, ya kharab pankhe ke saath hafton jeena. Har ek chhota hai. Saath milkar ye jama ho jaata hai.
Badi keemat zyada khamosh hai. Doosron ko aksar pata hi nahi hota ki aapko kya pasand hai, isliye wo de nahi paate, bhale hi khushi se dete. Saal bhar mein aap jo chahte hain aur jo hota hai, uske beech ki doori badh sakti hai, aur use sirf aap dekhte hain.
Pichhle saal kaun si chhoti cheezein reh gayin kyunki maangna badtameezi laga?Is par baat kijiye ›
Unmein se kaun si ab bhi thoda chubhti hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Agar yeh aisa hi rahe
Kuch saal baad, ek aam Tuesday #
Kuch saal aage ka ek aam Tuesday sochiye, jab “maangna badtameezi hai” ab bhi sab kuch chala raha hai. Ye bas dekhne ki ek tasveer hai, bhavishyavaani nahi, aur isme theek karne ko kuch nahi.
Shayad kisi dost ke ghar mehmaan ka “nahin-nahin, main theek hoon.” Shayad wo chhutti jo chahiye thi, ab bhi bina poochhe. Shayad galat delivery rakh li aur istemaal bhi kar li. Shayad ek chhoti chaah, ab bhi tah hokar rakhi hui. Bas din, jaisa chalta hai.
Yahan kisi cheez ke jawab ki zaroorat nahi.
Us Tuesday ko dekhte hue aap kya notice karte hain, agar kuch karte hain?Is par baat kijiye ›
Kaun sa hissa saath rehta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Seedha maang lena bhi meherbaani ho sakti hai #
Ise doosri tarah dekhiye. Jab mehmaan saaf kehta hai “thoda paani mil jaaye to achha lagega,” to mezbaan ko pata hota hai ki kya karna hai. Andaza lagana mehnat ka kaam hai. Saaf, tameez wali maang aksar doosre ke liye baat aasaan karti hai.
Bahut logon ko chhoti cheezon ke liye maanga jaana achha lagta hai. Isse unhein madad karne ka mauka milta hai. Jo dost kabhi kuch nahi maangta, wo bina chahe thoda door lag sakta hai. Chhoti maang kisi ko paas aane dena bhi ho sakti hai.
Jab koi aapse kuch chhota aur tameez se maange, to aapko kaisa lagta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Kya wo badtameezi hai, ya bas saaf baat?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise jaldi pehchanna
Gaur se dekhne par log kya paate hain #
Gaur se dekhne par bahut log paate hain ki doosron ke liye maangna unhein aasaan lagta hai. Dost ki chhooti dish ke liye waiter se keh denge, saathi ke haq mein bol denge. Bas apni chaah hi zyada lagti hai.
Kuch ye bhi paate hain ki jis “badtameezi” se wo darte hain, wo zyadatar lehje mein hai, maang mein nahi. “Kya mujhe mil sakta hai…” aur “agar theek ho to…” lagbhag har zubaan mein tameez wale hain. Jin lafzon se darr hai, wo aksar narm hi hote hain.
Doosre ki taraf se maangna theek kyun lagta hai, apne liye kyun nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ye niyam ke baare mein kya batata hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Isse sulah
Tameez rakhna, niyam dheela karna #
Is maanyata se samjhauta ka matlab akad wala banna nahi. Doosron ki fikr, achhi tameez, sabr, ye rakhne layak hain. Bahut logon ko in par garv hai.
Baat zyadatar ye farq dekhne ki hai: “Mujhe zaroorat nahi” aur “mujhe chahiye, par main bolunga/bolungi nahi.” Pehla sachcha sukoon hai. Doosra ek chhipayi chaah hai. Us pal mein kaun sa kaun hai, ye sirf aap jaan sakte hain.
Agar roz ki cheezein, khana, paisa, aaram, bahar jaana, maangne par kabhi gussa ya saza milti hai, to na maangna mehfooz chunav ho sakta hai; wo kuch aur baat hai, aur use gambhirta se lena theek hai.
Aapke kaun se “nahin-nahin, theek hai” sachmuch theek hain?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aur kaun se aisi chaah hain jinhein bolne ka mauka hi nahi mila?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ek zyada sachcha vaakya
Paas rakhne layak ek zyada sachchi line #
“Maangna badtameezi hai” ki jagah kuch log aazmate hain: “Tameez se maangna theek hai, aur saamne wala na bhi keh sakta hai.” Ye tameez rakhti hai. Bas chaah ko bhi rehne deti hai.
Shuru mein ye atpati, thodi bebaak lag sakti hai. Lambe samay se chalte niyam ke liye ye aam hai. Kuch ko lagta hai ki chupke se kuch baar kehne par nayi line saamanya lagne lagti hai. Kuch ko apne lafz zyada jamte hain.
Aapki zyada sachchi line kya hogi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Kuch aisa jo aapki tameez bhi rakhe aur aapki chaah ko bhi jagah de?Is par baat kijiye ›
Kya rehne dein
Kuch din purana niyam jeet jaata hai #
Kuch din purana niyam hi bol sakta hai. Koi mehmaan aadat se “nahin-nahin” keh de. Galat order phir bhi kha liya jaaye. Wo purani aadat apna kaam kar rahi hai, koi naakaami nahi.
Baad mein pyaar se dekh lena madad karta hai: “Lo, tameez wala purana niyam phir aa gaya.” Na dohrane ki zaroorat, na khud ko daantne ki. Dekh lena hi, na dekhne se, ek chhota badlav hai.
Aaj shaam ise rakh dene ka matlab ye nahi ki bina kuch paye rehna theek tha. Bas itna ki wo raat bhar peechhe ghoome zaroori nahi.
Baaki shaam kya lekar aayegi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Agar yeh dheela pade
Aur agar niyam thoda bhi dheela pade #
Sochiye, bas ek tasveer ke taur par, ki niyam zara dheema ho gaya. Aapki saari tameez ab bhi hai, bas chaah kabhi-kabhi bol paati hai.
Bahut log pehle chhoti cheezein sochte hain: chai ki pehli peshkash par haan keh dena, doosri roti jo di gayi use pehle “nahin-nahin” kahe bina le lena, chaah ko pehchanna aur us par bura na maanna.
Isme se kisi ko bhi kisi ko dikhana zaroori nahi. Jo bhi saamne aaye wo aapka hai, aur dekhne layak hai. Theek se dekhna ho to ek chat bas ek tap door hai.
Sabse pehle kya alag lagta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapki pehli chhoti baat kya hogi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Try karne ki chhoti cheezein
Try karne ke liye kuch
Kuch chhoti baatein jo logon ko kaam ki lagti hain #
- Aaj ek chhoti chaah pehchaniye aur khud ko poore vaakya mein bataiye
- Bheetar “rehne do” sunayi de to poochhiye: kya ye sach mein jhanjhat hai?
- Agli baar kuch offer ho aur mann ho, to khud ko “haan” kehne dijiye
- Dekhiye jab koi aapse kuch chhota maangta hai to kaisa lagta hai
- Sochiye jis sabse bhale insaan ko aap jaante hain, wo aapki chhoti chaah sun raha hai
Chhoti baatein, aur sab vaikalpik. Jo ho sake wo chuniye.
Ek sawaal chuniye
Baat kijiye #
Kisi ek par tap kijiye. Dr. Thoughts ke saath chat usi sawaal se khulegi: free, private, shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi.
- Aap sabse zyada kahan ek chhoti chaah nigal jaate hain?
- Bachpan mein cheezein maangne ke baare mein aapko kya sikhaya gaya tha?
- Maangne se theek pehle kaun sa ehsaas aata hai: fikr, sharm, ya kuch aur?
- Jis aam din ye niyam zor se bolta hai, aap kis cheez ke bina reh jaate?
- Agar niyam thoda dheela pade, to sabse pehle aap kya notice karenge?