Andar
Andar kya chal raha hai #
Teen baatein jo aksar in shabdon ke neeche hoti hain.
Kisi ke kareeb hona humein ye maanne par la sakta hai ki usne hamari baatein jitni kahin, usse zyada samajh li hain.
Kuch logon mein ye dekhkar bani: zameen ka koi tukda haath badalne se pehle dadaji se poochha jaata, kisi bua ka phone har paarivaarik aayojan ki taiyaari se pehle bajta, khaane ki mez par pehle bado se raay li jaati.
Neeche ek niyam baitha ho sakta hai: “Agar wo ab bhi meri qadar karte hain, to poochhenge ki meri raay kya hai,” ya “Achhe bete-beti pehle maata-pita se raay lete hain.”
Reactions
Log aksar kya karte hain #
- Faisla poora hone se pehle, jhatpat salah de dena
- Khabar kisi cousin ya group chat se sunna, aur chup rehna
- Vyaavhaarik sawaalon ki jhadi lagana jo pariksha jaise lagein
- Halke se “Tum hi behtar jaante ho” kehna, phir dinon faisle ko dohrana
- Agli baar ki chubhan se bachne ko koi raay dena hi band kar dena
Deck
6 cards mein poori kahani #
Chhe chhote cards, us pal se chhod dene tak.
Wo flat jo wo le chuki
Aapki beti, ab badi aur doosre shehar mein, phone par batati hai ki usne naye flat ke kaagaz par dastkhat kar diye. Aapke mann mein ilaaqe, raaste, landlord ke baare mein kai baatein thin. Usne poochha nahi. Aap kehte ho, “Arre wah,” aur doosri baatein karne lagte ho. Call ke baad aap rasoi mein ho, haath mein chai, ajeeb tarah se bekaar lagte hue, jaise jo kaam sabse achhi tarah aata tha, wo khatam ho gaya.
Bade bachche aapki salah lein
Neeche ek niyam baitha hai: “Bade ho chuke bachchon ko mujhse salah leni chahiye.” Ye swabhaavik lagta hai. Aapne zyada jiya aur bahut seekha hai. Par dekhiye ye karta kya hai: aapke kaam ke lagne ko unke sawaalon se baandh deta hai. Aap maayne rakhne wale maa-baap ho ya nahi, ye un bachchon par tik jaata hai jo shayad apne pairon par khade hona seekh rahe hain, theek waise jaise aapne chaha tha.
Raah dikhana humara kaam kyun tha
Hum ise isliye pakadte hain kyunki bachchon ko raah dikhana itne baras hamara kaam raha. Shayad bachpan mein salah dena hi aapka pyaar jatane ka tareeka tha, aur aaj bhi waisa hi lagta hai. Shayad aapke apne maata-pita ki salah aapke liye bahut maayne rakhti thi. Jo bhi ho, poochhe jaane ki chaah dakhal nahi hai. Ye unki zindagi mein ab bhi maayne rakhne ki chaah se aati hai. Ye dosh nahi, narmi ki haqdaar hai.
Chhoote rah jaane ki chup tees
Aapke bina liya gaya har faisla ek chhoti, chup-si tees chhod jaata hai. Aap bina poochhi salah dene lagte ho, phir taal diye jaane jaisa lagta hai. Sochte ho ki kya unhein ab bhi aapki zaroorat hai. Phone ki baatein dohrate ho, koi aisi jagah dhoondhte ho jahan madad kar sakte the. Dheere-dheere aapko apne bachchon ki zindagi mein mehmaan jaisa lagne lagta hai, us jagah wala nahi jise ab bhi aham jagah haasil hai.
Poochhe jaane ki raah takna, kab tak?
Imaandari se khud se poochhiye: kya poochhe jaane ki raah takne ne kabhi aapko unke kareeb kiya? Ya zyadatar bahar chhoota hua mehsoos karaya? Bade hote bachche aksar akele faisle karte hain; iska unke liye kya matlab hai, ye wahi bata sakte hain. Jo bhi ho, unki aazaadi iska paimana nahi ki ve aapki kitni qadar karte hain. Is niyam ko itna kaskar pakadna deta kam hai, leta zyada hai.
Wo aazaadi jise aapne banaya
Chhodne ka matlab ye nahi ki unke chunavon ki parwah chhoot jaye. Matlab ye ki aapke kaam ke hone ka ehsaas ab unke sawaalon par nahi tika. Aapne jo sikhaya us par bharosa kar sakte ho, unki zindagi ki baatein sunkar anand le sakte ho, aur jab ve poochhein tab garmjoshi se taiyaar rah sakte ho. Yahin se chain lautta hai: unki aazaadi ko aap aisi cheez ki tarah dekh sakte ho jise banane mein aapka haath tha.
Basic respect and safety at home are never too much to expect; being threatened, hurt or frightened by anyone is something else, and worth taking seriously.
Palat
Purana rule, aur try karne ke liye ek naya #
Purana ruleBade ho chuke bachchon ko mujhse salah leni chahiye.
Try karne ke liye naya ruleUnki aazaadi banane mein mera bhi haath hai.
Teen chhote din
3 din try kijiye #
- Din 1
Agle phone par bas unki khabar sunkar anand lijiye
- Din 2
Ek baat sochiye jo aapne sikhayi, aur wo aaj bhi use karte hain
- Din 3
Is hafte ek kaam sirf apne liye kijiye
Is par baat karni hai?
“Bachchon ka kaun sa faisla aapne sabse baad mein suna, aur aapko kya poochha jaana achha lagta?”
Free aur private. Shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi. Chat isi sawaal se khulti hai.
Yeh deck jo kuch jaanta hai
Aur gehraai mein #
Yeh kaisa sunai deta hai, kahan se aata hai, iski kya keemat hai, aur ise dekhne ke doosre tareeke. Har sawaal par chat khulti hai.
Yeh kaisa lagta hai
Kya kaha gaya
Poori ho chuki khabar ke saath aata khayal #
“Bade ho chuke bachchon ko mujhse salah leni chahiye.” Ye aksar khabar ke theek peechhe aata hai: nayi job ka zikr tab hua jab sab tay ho chuka tha, chune ja chuke flat ki tasveerein, ya padosi ka beta jo scooter ke baare mein apne pita ko phone kar raha tha.
Zyadatar ye maang se zyada samajhdaari jaisa lagta hai, barson ke tajurbe ke liye sabse saaf thikaana: ghar mein kisi ne galtiyan kar li hain, kaagaz ki baareeki padh li hai, seekh liya hai ki kis landlord par bharosa kiya jaye.
Phir ise poochha kyun na jaye?Is par baat kijiye ›
Bade ho chuke bachchon ko lekar ye khayal aapko aakhri baar kab aaya, aur unmein se kisne abhi kya tay kiya tha?Is par baat kijiye ›
Pehle kuch pal
Ek hi saans mein khushi aur chubhan #
Kuch maa-baap ise ek chhoti, thandi boond ki tarah mehsoos karte hain, jab khabar poori hokar aati hai: “Book kar liya,” “Haan keh diya,” “Ab ho gaya.” Khabar ki khushi aur sabse baad mein sunne ki chubhan ek hi saans mein aa sakti hain.
Ye ehsaas faisle ke baare mein kisi bhi soch se pehle aa sakta hai: video call par muskurata rehta chehra jabki bheetar kuch shaant ho jaata hai, zara jaldi kaha gaya “Achha hai,” ek sawaal jo nigal liya gaya kyunki ab poochhna der lagta hai.
Pichhli baar jab aapke kisi bachche ne bataya ki faisla ho chuka hai, to kuch kehne ki baat dhoondhne se pehle ke pehle kuch second mein aapke bheetar kya hua?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kyun lagta hai
Tajurba asli hota hai, aur barson mein bana #
Ye ummeed isliye waajib lagti hai ki tajurba asli hota hai. Dashakon ki naukriyan, kirayedaar-landlord, marammaten, maalik aur mol-bhaav aisi jaankari ban jaate hain jise kamane mein mehnat lagi, aur ummeed karna swabhaavik hai ki parivaar mein uska ab bhi kuch kaam hai.
Kisi ke kareeb hona humein ye maanne par la sakta hai ki usne hamari baatein jitni kahin, usse zyada samajh li hain. Maa-baap barson “Wo to pehle humse hi poochhenge” liye chal sakte hain, jabki wahi ummeed shayad un shabdon mein kabhi bade ho chuke bachche tak pahunchi hi nahi.
Agar aapka tajurba kisi ek tarah ke faisle par maanga ja sakta, to wo kaun sa hota, aur uske baare mein aap aisa kya jaante hain jo seekhne mein barson lage?Is par baat kijiye ›
Andar ki awaaz
Details dohrane wali awaaz #
“Humse poochh to lete.” “Humne teen baar ye kiya hai, hum pakad lete.” “Ab thokar khakar hi seekhenge.” Ye awaaz aksar call katne ke baad bolti hai, pyaliyaan sametate hue, ya der raat us faisle par lautte hue jo ho chuka hai.
Kuch maa-baap ko lagta hai ki jo baat der se ya bilkul nahi batayi gayi, uski ginti salah ke neeche ki kisi cheez ki taraf ishara karti hai: bade palon mein ab bhi ek jagah rakhne ki chaah.
Jab awaaz us faisle ko dohrati hai jo aapke bachche ne aapke bina liya, to wo sabse zyada kya chahti hai ki aapse poochha gaya hota?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kahan se aata hai
Yeh kahan se aa sakta hai
Salah liye jaane ki tasveer kahan se shuru hoti hai #
Kuch logon mein ye dekhkar bani: zameen ka koi tukda haath badalne se pehle dadaji se poochha jaata, kisi bua ka phone har paarivaarik aayojan ki taiyaari se pehle bajta, khaane ki mez par pehle bado se raay li jaati. Kai parivaaron mein bade faisle bado ke haath se hokar hi guzarte the.
Kuch mein ye apne shuruaati barson se aayi: “Pehle papa se poochh lo” sunna, ya har bade chunav se pehle ghar phone karke zyada sambhala mehsoos karna. Kuch log aisi tasveer ko bachpan tak le jaate hain, kuch nahi.
Aapke bachchon ki umar mein aap kiski salah dhoondhne jaate the, aur use poochhne se aapko kya milta tha?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iske neeche ki maanyata
Har khabar ka swagat karta niyam #
Neeche ek niyam baitha ho sakta hai: “Agar wo ab bhi meri qadar karte hain, to poochhenge ki meri raay kya hai,” ya “Achhe bete-beti pehle maata-pita se raay lete hain.” Pehla sentence log sunte hain; neeche ka niyam tay karta hai ki har khabar kaise li jaye.
Ye shayad hi kabhi niyam ki tarah saamne aata hai. Ye izzat jaisa lagta hai, aur uska kuch hissa sachmuch izzat ka hai. Isiliye ise dekhna kaam ka hai, apne bachchon ke saath rakhkar, jaise wo aaj bade hain, sirf pandrah baras ke waise nahi.
Kuch log aise niyam ko bachpan tak le jaate hain, kuch nahi. Dono tarah ise dekha ja sakta hai.
Bade ho chuke bachchon ke saath zindagi ke kin hisson mein “poochhe jaane” ka niyam ab bhi baithta hai, aur kinmein nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iski kya keemat hai
Iski kya keemat hai
Sabse baad mein sunne ki keemat #
Iska matlab ho sakta hai nayi job ki achhi khabar aadhe mann se sunna, ek phone call jisme chetavni sarkane ka mauka dhoondha jaye, naye flat ki pehli mulaqat jisme nazar seedhi rasoi ki kami par jaye. Chhoti baatein, jo din se thoda-thoda le leti hain.
Chhoti baaton ke neeche bada bojh hai. Jab poochha jaana qadar jaisa lage, to akele liya gaya har faisla aapki jagah par ek chhota-sa vote lag sakta hai, aur parde ya office ke raaste ki baat mein ye bahut dhona hai.
Pichhle saal bachchon ki kaun si khabar aapne sabse kam saraahi, isliye ki use kaise suna, aur usse din ne kya khoya?Is par baat kijiye ›
Agar yeh aisa hi rahe
Paanch saal aur, baad mein sunte hue #
Ek aam Tuesday sochiye, us din jab “Bachche mujhse salah lein” zor se baj raha ho. Ye bas dekhne ki tasveer hai, theek karne ko kuch nahi.
Shayad wo call jisme chuna ja chuka flat kaagaz par dastkhat ke baad zikr mein aaye, ek lambi sair jisme ginti ho ki kya-kya jaanch lete, teen chetaaviniyon wala sandesh jo likhkar mita diya gaya, kisi saheli ki kahani ki uske bete ne pehle usse poochha.
Yahan kuch bhi bhavishyavani nahi hai, aur kuch bhi theek karne ko nahi.
Usme kya hai: call, khabrein, wo sawaal jo kisi ne poochhe nahi, taiyaar rakhi gayi raay?Is par baat kijiye ›
Us din mein kya bhara hai, aur kya ruka hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Us din ko dekhkar, agar kuch, to aapko kya alag dikhta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Theek-theek kis baat ki salah? #
Nazdeeki aur bade ho chuke bachche ke apne faisle ek hi parivaar mein reh sakte hain. Kuch bachche akele faisla karte hain aur phir bhi har Sunday phone karte hain; kuch har baat poochhte hain aur kuch khaas batate nahi. Nazdeeki ek se zyada shakl mein aa sakti hai.
“Meri salah lo” mein kai ummeedein ek saath ho sakti hain: raay li jaye, khabar rakhi jaye, chinta ka bhaar bharose se saunpa jaye, sabse pehle bataya jaye. Inmein se kuch ek bade faisle par tiki hain; kuch kisi chhoti baat par aam call mein bhi dikh sakti hain.
“Meri salah lo” mein jo-jo bandha hai, usme aapke liye sabse zyada kya maayne rakhta hai: poochha jaana, jaldi bataya jaana, ya bharosa kiya jaana?Is par baat kijiye ›
Jo pehle se hai
Wo aapse pehle hi kya baante hain #
Kabhi-kabhi ye dekhkar achha lag sakta hai ki bade ho chuke bachche aapse pehle hi kya baante hain, chahe chhota ho ya der se aaye: nayi balcony ki tasveer, job ke pehle din ka voice note, tapakte nal ko theek karne ke sahi tareeke ka koi sawaal.
Isme kuch bhi kisi ka qarz nahi, na unka, na aapka, aur ise dekhne se ummeed chhoti nahi hoti; dono saath baith sakte hain. Jo chhoti baatein bachche bina maange laate hain, wahi sabse zyada dekhne laayak ho sakti hain.
Agar aaj kuch yaad na aaye, to theek hai.
Ek aam hafte mein aapke bade ho chuke bachche aapse pehle hi kya baante hain, jise aap zara aur mehsoos karna chahenge?Is par baat kijiye ›
Sulah
Sulah, aur jo waajib hai use rakhna #
Is ummeed se sulah ka matlab ye tay karna nahi ki ye zyada thi, ya sahi thi. Matlab ye ki “poochha jaana” aur “bataya jaana” ka faasla har khabar ko rang dena band kar de, taaki faisla pehle unki khabar ki tarah suna ja sake.
Jo waajib hai, wo reh sakta hai: chahna ki aapka tajurba maayne rakhe. Jo dheela ho sakta hai, wo pakad hai, taaki aapke bina chuna flat bhi khush hone laayak rahe, aur raay tab tak ruk sake jab tak maangi na jaye.
Buniyadi izzat aur hifazat kabhi “zyada ummeed” nahi hai, aapke liye bhi aur aapke bachchon ke liye bhi.
Sunday ka ek phone sochiye, jo is ummeed se sulah mein ho: unke hafte ke baare mein aap kya poochhte, aur kya sunkar achha lagta?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ek zyada sachcha vaakya
Purani line ke bagal mein ek sachchi line #
“Bade ho chuke bachchon ko mujhse salah leni chahiye” se bhidne ki jagah, kuch log aisi line taiyaar rakhte hain: “Mera tajurba ab bhi maayne rakhta hai, aur unke faisle unke apne hain.” Ise jeetna nahi hai, bas purani line ke bagal mein khade rehna hai.
Shuru mein ye naye joote ki tarah kadi lag sakti hai. Kuch ko lagta hai ki apna ek sentence dheere-dheere purane ke paas jagah bana leta hai; kuch ko lagta hai ki wo kabhi poori baithti nahi, aur koi aur hamesha aazmayi ja sakti hai.
Aapke apne shabdon mein sachcha sentence kya hoga, jo aapka tajurba paas rakhe aur aapke bachchon ko faisla karne ke liye aazaad chhode?Is par baat kijiye ›
Kya rehne dein
Kuch raay daraz mein rakhi reh sakti hai #
Aapke bachche jo bhi tay karein, us par Friday tak aapki raay zaroori nahi. Kuch khayal dekhe ja sakte hain, ek baar palatkar kuch der rakhe ja sakte hain, jaise Bhopal ki kisi daraz mein rakhi akhbaar ki katran, ya Toronto ki rasoi mein sahejha gaya link jo kabhi bheja nahi gaya.
Raay jitne din chahe niji reh sakti hai; wo phir bhi aapki hai, jaanne laayak hai, chahe koi use maange ya nahi.
Khayal ko aaj shaam ke liye rakh dene ka matlab ye nahi ki kuch galat hua hi nahi, ya baat sulajh gayi. Bas itna ki unka faisla raat bhar aapki mez par nahi baitha rahega.
Agar yeh dheela pade
Aur agar pakad thodi bhi dheeli ho #
Sirf tasveer ki tarah sochiye ki ye ummeed ek darja shaant hai. Poochhe jaane ki chaah ab bhi hai, par poori hokar aayi khabar bas khabar hai.
Chhoti cheezein kaafi ho sakti hain, jaise flat ki khabar sunkar poochhna ki unhein usme kya pasand aaya, nayi job ka pehla hafta unke saath-saath manana, ya koi raay us din ke liye rakhna jab maangi jaye.
Yahan kisi se kuch kehne ki zaroorat nahi. Jo bhi aaye, wo aapka hai, aur gaur karne laayak hai. Aage dekhenge ki is aas se sulah ka matlab kya ho sakta hai, aur kya pehle se maujood hai.
Sabse pehle kya zara alag lagta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapki pehli chhoti cheez kya hogi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Try karne ki chhoti cheezein
Try karne ke liye kuch
Kuch chhoti baatein jo log aazmate hain #
- Is khayal ko apna ek chhota-sa naam dijiye, jaise “Pehle poochhe jaane ki aas”
- Khabar poori hokar aaye to pehli salah se pehle pehla ehsaas pehchaniye
- Aaj ki ek cheez par dhyaan dijiye jo aapne chahi, chahe kitni bhi chhoti
- Khud se chupchaap poochhiye: mujhe salah deni thi, ya poochha jaana chahiye tha?
- Unki umar mein akele liya gaya apna koi faisla yaad kijiye, aur tab kaisa laga tha
Chhote, niji aur sab apni marzi se. Jo aasaan lage, wo aazmaiye.
Ek sawaal chuniye
Baat kijiye #
Kisi ek par tap kijiye. Dr. Thoughts ke saath chat usi sawaal se khulegi: free, private, shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi.
- Bachchon ka kaun sa faisla aapne sabse baad mein suna, aur aapko kya poochha jaana achha lagta?
- Unki umar mein aap salah ke liye kiske paas jaate the, aur use chunne ki wajah kya thi?
- Tajurbe ki kaun si kadi seekh aap chahenge ki bachchon ke paas ho, aur aapne use kahan seekha?
- Agar salah liye jaane ki chaah thodi halki ho, to aap sabse pehle kya dekhenge?
- Aapke bade ho chuke bachche aapse pehle hi kya baante hain jiska aap zara aur anand lena chahenge?