“mard bano, ladkiyon ki tarah mat ro” par log aksar kya karte hain?

Chehra seedha karke baat badal dena: “Arre kuch nahi, aankh mein kuch chala gaya”. Dukh ko gusse mein badal dena, kyunki gusse ki chhoot zyada milti hai. Sab andar rakhna, jab tak bike par akele lamba chakkar, bathroom ka chalta nal ya der raat na mile. Koi aur hanse, usse pehle khud hi uska mazaak bana dena. Chup ho jaana, aur phir bahut dinon tak kisi se kuch na kehna.

Agle 3 din kya try kiya ja sakta hai?

Aaj jo ek cheez lagi, mann mein uska naam lijiye. Kuch bhaari lage toh thodi der akele tahal aaiye. Aise kisi mazboot insaan ko yaad kijiye jo mann ki baat dikhata hai.

“mard bano, ladkiyon ki tarah mat ro” itna kyun chubhta hai?

Andar

Andar kya chal raha hai #

Teen baatein jo aksar in shabdon ke neeche hoti hain.

Upar se, jo feel hua use rakhne ki koi jagah nahi bachti.
Kuch logon ne ye bahut chhoti umar mein suna: hospital ke galiyare mein, cycle se girkar ghutna chhilne par, ya naye school ke pehle din gate par.
Neeche-neeche ek maanyata baith sakti hai: “Mujhe hi mazboot bane rehna hai,” ya “Mujhe gussa ya dukh nahi dikhana chahiye.”

Reactions

Log aksar kya karte hain #

Chehra seedha karke baat badal dena: “Arre kuch nahi, aankh mein kuch chala gaya”
Dukh ko gusse mein badal dena, kyunki gusse ki chhoot zyada milti hai
Sab andar rakhna, jab tak bike par akele lamba chakkar, bathroom ka chalta nal ya der raat na mile
Koi aur hanse, usse pehle khud hi uska mazaak bana dena
Chup ho jaana, aur phir bahut dinon tak kisi se kuch na kehna

Deck

6 cards mein poori kahani #

Chhe chhote cards, us pal se chhod dene tak.

Vidaai par bhar aayi aankhein
Didi ki vidaai hai. Gaadi gali ke mod tak pahunchti hai, Mummy aur Bua phoot-phootkar ro rahi hain, aur achanak aapki aankhein bhi beh nikalti hain, saare rishtedaaron ke saamne. Chachaji hanskar kehte hain, “Abe, ladkiyon ki tarah ro raha hai? Mard ban.” Cousins bhi hans padte hain. Aap jaldi se aankhein ponchhkar “Dhool chali gayi” keh dete ho. Raat ko chhat par akele, aansuon par sharm aati hai, jaise dukhi hona koi haar ho.
Mazboot yaani dard kabhi na dikhe
Ye shabd aise niyam par girte hain jo shayad pehle se wahan hai: “Mujhe mazboot rehna hai, kisi ko pata nahi chalna chahiye ki dard hai.” Ye himmat jaisa lagta hai. Par dekhiye ye karta kya hai: aapke apne mann ki baat ko chhipane ki cheez bana deta hai. Ab “asli mard” hona is par tika hai ki koi aapko kabhi udaas, pareshaan ya thaka na dekhe, aur ye kisi bhi insaan se nahi ho sakta.
Humne dard chhipana kyun seekha
Hum ise isliye pakadte hain kyunki humein sikhaya gaya ki himmat ka matlab dard chhipana hai. Shayad bachpan mein “mard ko dard nahi hota” itni baar suna, un logon se jinse aap pyaar karte the. Shayad aapne Papa ko Dadaji ki terahvin par bhi chupchaap intezaam sambhalte dekha, ek aansoo nahi. Ye niyam bewajah nahi. Ye mazboot aur izzatdaar banne ki chaah se aata hai. Ise dosh nahi, narmi chahiye.
Andar dabi baaton ka bojh
Har dabayi gayi baat bojh badhati hai. Jo andar rakha, wo kabhi chidchidahat banakar nikalta hai, kabhi lambi chuppi banakar. Mushkil dinon mein aap akele pad jaate ho. Madad maangna kamzori lagta hai. Ghar se phone aaye toh bas “Sab badhiya hai.” Dheere-dheere apnon ko kam pata chalta hai ki sach mein kya chal raha hai, aur jo mazbooti aap dikhate ho wo chaaron taraf ek deewar ban jaati hai.
Kya chhipana is keemat ke layak?
Imaandaari se khud se poochhiye: kya mann ki baat chhipane se wo kabhi halki hui? Ya zyada-tar wo aur bhaari aur akeli hoti gayi? Unke shabd unki marzi ke the, aur dukh har kisi ko hota hai, ladka ho ya ladki, kisi bhi umar ka. Aansoo is baat ka paimana nahi ki koi kitna mazboot hai. Kya is niyam ko itna kasakar pakadna us keemat ke layak hai jo ye maangta hai?
Wo himmat jisme mann bhi hai
Chhodne ka matlab ye nahi ki aapko sabke saamne rona hai. Matlab ye hai ki jo aap feel karte ho, uski ijaazat hai, kam se kam apne aap se. Aap dekh sakte ho ki kya lag raha hai, mann mein uska naam le sakte ho, aur use thodi der rehne de sakte ho. Wahin se kuch chain lautta hai: himmat mein feel karna bhi shaamil hai, aur taana usi ke paas reh sakta hai jisne maara.
If anyone puts you down, threatens, hurts or frightens you for showing feelings, that is something else, and worth taking seriously; staying careful can be the safe choice.

Palat

Purana rule, aur try karne ke liye ek naya #

Purana ruleMujhe mazboot rehna hai, dard kabhi nahi dikhana.

Try karne ke liye naya ruleFeel karne ki ijaazat hai. Himmat mein ye bhi shaamil hai.

Teen chhote din

3 din try kijiye #

Din 1
Aaj jo ek cheez lagi, mann mein uska naam lijiye
Din 2
Kuch bhaari lage toh thodi der akele tahal aaiye
Din 3
Aise kisi mazboot insaan ko yaad kijiye jo mann ki baat dikhata hai

Is par baat karni hai?

“Jab unhone wo kaha, tab aap asal mein kya feel kar rahe the?”

Free aur private. Shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi. Chat isi sawaal se khulti hai.

Dr. Thoughts ke saath baat kijiye

Yeh deck jo kuch jaanta hai

Aur gehraai mein #

Yeh kaisa sunai deta hai, kahan se aata hai, iski kya keemat hai, aur ise dekhne ke doosre tareeke. Har sawaal par chat khulti hai.

Yeh kaisa lagta hai

Kya kaha gaya

Bas ek line, theek jab aankh bhar aaye #

Didi ki vidaai par gaadi chali, sab ro rahe the, aapki bhi aankh bhar aayi. Chachaji ne peeth par haath maara: “Abe, ladkiyon ki tarah kyun ro raha hai?” School ground par gire toh PT sir: “Uth, mard ko dard nahi hota.” Rona abhi shuru bhi nahi hua tha, aur baat wahin khatam kar di gayi.

Ye sirf ladkon ko nahi sunna padta. “Itni kamzor mat bano,” “Rona-dhona band karo,” “Zyada senti mat ho,” kisi na kisi roop mein ye har kisi tak pahunchta hai. Line chhoti hai, par matlab saaf: gadbad aapke rone mein hai, aur aage dikhaya toh sunna padega.

Aakhri baar aisa kuch kab suna?Is par baat kijiye ›

Us line se theek pehle, us ek pal mein, andar asal mein kya chal raha tha?Is par baat kijiye ›

Aur phir wo sab gaya kahan?Is par baat kijiye ›

Pehle kuch pal

Gala itni jaldi kyun rundh jaata hai #

Kisi ka gala rundh jaata hai, jabda kas jaata hai, aankhein zabardasti sookhi rakhni padti hain, aur chehra apne aap sapaat ho jaata hai. Koi khaansakar baat badal deta hai, kisi ko ekdum gussa aa jaata hai. Isme zaroorat se zyada nazuk hone jaisa kuch nahi.

Jab kaha jaye ki ye feel karna mana hai, toh mann sochne se pehle, do second mein sab andar dhakel deta hai. Kai logon ko baad mein samajh aata hai ki us waqt kya laga tha: ghar lautte auto mein, nahate hue, ya raat do baje chhat par.

Us par gaur karna aksar pehla sachcha suraag hota hai ki asal mein kya laga tha, aur wo kitna matlab rakhta tha.

Us line ke theek baad aapke sharir ne kya kiya?Is par baat kijiye ›

Yeh kyun lagta hai

Ye mauke par nahi, aap par ungli uthata hai #

“Yahan rone ki jagah nahi hai” ek jagah ki baat hai. “Ladkiyon ki tarah ro raha hai” ya “chudiyan pehen le” usse aage jaata hai: rone ko is baat se jod deta hai ki aap sahi kism ke insaan gine jaoge ya nahi. Mann ise aansuon par nahi, apni jagah par sawaal ki tarah sunta hai.

Upar se, jo feel hua use rakhne ki koi jagah nahi bachti. Dar, dukh, yahan tak ki khushi bhi aati hai, par ab saath mein hukm aata hai ki chhupao.

Aapke yahan wo sab kahan jaata hai, jab hukm use kamre se bahar bhej de?Is par baat kijiye ›

Agar wo taana seedhe aapke rone par tha, toh wo rona us pal kya keh raha tha, us baat ke baare mein jo abhi-abhi hui thi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Andar ki awaaz

Jab taana apni hi awaaz mein bolne lage #

Baar-baar suno toh ye andar ghar kar leta hai. “Sambhal khud ko.” “Kisi ko ye rona-dhona nahi dekhna.” “Tujhe strong rehna hai.” Ye kisi ki vidaai par, station par jab train chal pade, ya film ke us scene par shuru ho sakta hai jahan gala bhar aaye.

Kehne wala shayad kab ka peeche chhoot gaya, par ab ye jaanch andar hoti hai, chehre tak kuch pahunchne se pehle. Aur kyunki ye aapki apni awaaz mein bolti hai, ye kisi aur ka diya niyam nahi, samajhdaari ya himmat lagti hai.

Jab ye aapse sab andar rakhne ko kehti hai, toh awaaz kiski hoti hai?Is par baat kijiye ›

Aapki apni, ya wo jo barson pehle kisi aangan ya kisi ground par mili thi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Yeh kahan se aata hai

Yeh kahan se aa sakta hai

Kuch logon ke liye ye bachpan se shuru hua #

“Chup, bilkul chup, rona band.” “Tu toh ghar ka bada beta hai.” “Bade bachche aise nahi karte.” Kuch logon ne ye bahut chhoti umar mein suna: hospital ke galiyare mein, cycle se girkar ghutna chhilne par, ya naye school ke pehle din gate par.

Kuch gharon mein mann ki baat andar rakhna bharosemand hone ki nishani maana gaya, aur iski wajahein har ghar mein alag hain. Papa bahar gaye toh Mummy ne kaha, “Ab tu ghar ka mard hai.” Bachcha chupchaap ye nateeja nikaal leta hai ki mazboot wahi hai jo kuch dikhaye hi nahi.

Aapne pehli baar kab seekha ki chehre par kuch na aane dein, taaki kisi ko dikhe nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Aur zyada-tar us waqt kamre mein kaun hota tha?Is par baat kijiye ›

Iske neeche ki maanyata

Neeche-neeche banne wala ek chupchaap niyam #

Neeche-neeche ek maanyata baith sakti hai: “Mujhe hi mazboot bane rehna hai,” ya “Mujhe gussa ya dukh nahi dikhana chahiye.” Kuch log iska doosra roop dhote hain: “Jo mann mein hai dikha diya, toh log mujhe rondu kahenge.”

Aisi maanyata maanyata jaisi lagti hi nahi. Wo himmat lagti hai, ya bas bade hone ka tareeka, aur isiliye ise kabhi-kabhi bahar nikalkar dhoop mein dekhna theek hai.

Kuch log aise niyam ko bachpan se jodte hain, kuch nahi. Dono tarah ise aaj ke logon aur jagahon ke saath dekha ja sakta hai.

Ye kin kamron mein ab bhi fit baithta hai, aur kinmein nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Iski kya keemat hai

Sab andar rakhne ki keemat #

Iska matlab ho sakta hai ghar mein sabka sab sambhalna aur koi na poochhe ki aap kaise ho, “main theek hoon” itni baar kehna ki uska matlab hi na bache, ya office ka mushkil hafta seedhe chehre ke saath nikaal dena.

Ek dheemi keemat bhi hai. Kuch logon ko dikhta hai ki unki baatein upar-upar hi rehti hain, doston ke saath bhi bas cricket, kaam aur mazaak, aur kareebi log zyada-tar shaant, sambhala hua roop hi dekhte hain.

Ye kamzori ki wajah se nahi. Sab andar rakhne mein asli taaqat lagti hai.

Kya isme se kuch aap par lagu hota hai, ya nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Pichhle ek saal mein iski keemat kya rahi: koi baat jo upar-upar hi reh gayi, koi shaam jo sab dabane mein nikal gayi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Agar yeh aisa hi rahe

Paanch saal aur, sab andar rakhte hue #

Kisi aam mangalwar ki tasveer banaiye, us din ki jab “mard bano” andar zor se bol raha ho. Ye bas dekhne ki tasveer hai, theek karne ko kuch nahi.

Shayad office ke gate par “badhiya, aap sunao”, ghar se aaya mushkil phone jo bina ruke nipta diya, baat aage badhane ko maara gaya ek joke, gaadi mein baja udaas gaana jo jhat se skip kar diya.

Yahan kisi cheez ka abhi jawab nahi chahiye, aur isse kuch badalna bhi zaroori nahi.

Usme kya hai: baatein, zimmedariyan, chehre se door rakhi gayi cheezein, jo aazmaya hi nahi gaya?Is par baat kijiye ›

Din mein kya bhara hai, aur kya kinare reh jaata hai?Is par baat kijiye ›

Us din ko dekhte hue, agar kuch, toh aapko kya dikhta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›

Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka

Mazboot, par kis baat mein? #

Mazboot hone ke kai matlab hain: waqt par pahunchna, sach bolna, gharwalon ka khayal rakhna, mushkil mein tike rehna. Inmein se shayad hi kisi ke liye sookhi aankhein chahiye. Jin par poora parivaar bharosa karta hai, unme se bahuton ki aankhein bhi vidaai par bhar aati hain.

Kuch logon ko dikhta hai ki jo lagta hai wo kisi baat ke saath aata hai: dar kisi khatre ke saath, dukh kisi ke jaane ke saath, chubhan kisi hadd ke paar hone par.

Kaisa ho agar aap bas ye dekhein ki wo kis baat ke saath aaya, use dikhaye bina bhi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Ek aur nazar: agar ghar ka koi chhota bachcha ya koi kareebi dost wahi feel karta jo aapne kiya, toh aap chahte ki wo us taane ki jagah kya sune?Is par baat kijiye ›

Ise jaldi pehchanna

Gaur se dekhne par logon ko kya dikhta hai #

Jab log us pal ko dheere-dheere dohrate hain, toh kuch ko dikhta hai ki jo laga wo bilkul vaajib tha: Didi ja rahi thi toh dukh, gire toh dard, kisi ne chubhti baat kahi toh chubhan.

Kuch ko wo log yaad aate hain jo jagah dete the: ek dost jo nazar nahi pherta tha, Nani jo bina kuch kahe paas baithi rahin, ek colleague jisne bas itna kaha, “Yaar, ye toh sach mein bhaari hai.” Aise log aksar ginti mein aate hi nahi.

Aapka wala us pal kis baat ke saath aaya tha?Is par baat kijiye ›

Kya koi hai, abhi ya pehle, jiske saamne mann ki baat kam kaat-chhaant ke saath aa jaati thi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Unke saath hone mein aisa kya tha jisse ye mumkin hua?Is par baat kijiye ›

Isse sulah

Kisi ko kuch saabit karne ki zaroorat nahi #

Sulah ka matlab ye maanna nahi ki rona galat tha, na ye dikhana ki taana chubha nahi. Matlab bas itna ki un shabdon ka is par kam chale ki aap khud ko kya feel karne dein, aur kise dikhayein.

Kuch logon ko halka lagta hai jab wo har waqt patthar jaisa dikhne ki koshish chhod dete hain. Har kamre mein seedha chehra rakhna thaka deta hai, aur un palon par bhi purana niyam bithaye rakhta hai jinhe feel kiya jana chahiye.

Kaisa lagega agar taana unhi ka rehne dein, aur jo laga use wahi rehne dein jo wo tha, hui baat ka jawab, jis par aur kuch tay karne ki zaroorat nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Ek zyada sachcha vaakya

Paas rakhne ke liye ek sachcha vaakya #

Agar “Mujhe hi sab sambhalna hai” saalon se andar baj raha hai, toh usse seedhe ladne ki zaroorat nahi. Kuch log iske bajaye ek line taiyaar rakhte hain: “Feel karna bhi himmat ka hissa hai, uska ulta nahi.”

Kuch logon ko lagta hai ki ye shuru mein sach lagna zaroori nahi, aur apni ek line, dheere se aur baar-baar kahi gayi, purane vaakya ki thodi jagah le leti hai. Kuch ko aisa nahi lagta, aur wo bhi theek hai.

Aapke apne shabdon mein sachcha vaakya kya hoga, jo kisi ki ijaazat maange bina aapke mann ki baat ko jagah de?Is par baat kijiye ›

Kya rehne dein

Kuch cheezein bas neeche rakhi ja sakti hain #

Har “mard bano” ko palatkar jawab, lamba bhaashan ya agli baar aur sakht dikhne ka plan nahi chahiye. Kuch ko dekha ja sakta hai, ek pal feel kiya ja sakta hai, aur neeche rakha ja sakta hai, jaise safar ke baad bhaari bag farsh par rakh dete hain.

Ye haar maanna nahi hai. Ye chunna hai ki aapki taaqat kahan lage, aur kuch log kehte hain isse un logon ke liye zyada jagah bachti hai jo unhe jagah dete hain, aur un baaton ke liye jinhe thodi hawa chahiye.

Shaam bhar ke liye ise neeche rakhne ka matlab ye nahi ki taana theek tha, ya baat suljhi gayi. Bas itna ki wo aaj baaki har cheez mein saath na chale.

Agar yeh dheela pade

Aur agar niyam thoda bhi dheela ho #

Sirf ek tasveer ki tarah sochiye ki niyam ek darja dheema ho gaya hai. Mann ab bhi bhar aata hai, par use thoda rehne diya jaata hai, chahe sirf akele mein.

Chhoti cheezein kaafi ho sakti hain: udaas film ko udaas rehne dena, ghar lautte hue mann mein naam lena ki kya laga, chai par kisi kareebi dost se keh dena, “Yaar, wo baat lag gayi.”

Yahan kisi se kuch kehne ki zaroorat nahi. Jo bhi aaye, wo aapka hai, aur gaur karne layak hai. Agar ise theek se dekhna chahein, toh baatcheet bas ek tap door hai.

Sabse pehle kya alag lagta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›

Aapki pehli chhoti cheez kya hogi?Is par baat kijiye ›

Try karne ki chhoti cheezein

Try karne ke liye kuch

Kuch chhoti cheezein jo log aazmate hain #

Mann mein naam dijiye: “Lo, phir wahi mazboot-bane-raho wala niyam”
Jab kuch umade, chupchaap uska naam lijiye: dukh, dar, chubhan, ya kuch aur
Gaur kijiye ki us pal mein kya zyada zor se laga: shabd, ya kehne ka lehja
Aaj ki ek chhoti si cheez par dhyaan dijiye jo aapne chahi, chahe kitni bhi chhoti

Chhote, nijee aur sab apni marzi se. Jo aasaan lage, wo aazmaiye.

Ek sawaal chuniye

Baat kijiye #

Kisi ek par tap kijiye. Dr. Thoughts ke saath chat usi sawaal se khulegi: free, private, shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi.