Andar
Andar kya chal raha hai #
Teen baatein jo aksar in shabdon ke neeche hoti hain.
Bhai-behenon aur cousins ki tulna saalon yaad rehti hai, kai baar lagbhag shabd-ba-shabd.
Bahut gharon mein bachchon par chhoti umar mein hi label chipak jaate hain: padhaku wala, chuppa, sundar wali, Papa par gaya hua.
Kuch logon ko andar aisi line banti sunayi deti hai: “Main tabhi ginti mein hoon jab bagal wale jitna achha dikhun.”
Reactions
Log aksar kya karte hain #
- Photo mein kinare hat jaana, ya khud photo kheenchne lagna
- Saath mein hans dena, aur wo hansi poori shaam gale mein atki rehna
- Jisse tulna hui, usse thoda katne lagna
- Agle function se pehle aaine ke saamne zyada waqt bitana
- Maan lena ki roop uska hissa hai, aur apne liye kuch aur ban jaana
Deck
6 cards mein poori kahani #
Chhe chhote cards, us pal se chhod dene tak.
Kinare khade hone ko kaha gaya
Mysuru mein cousin ki shaadi, der shaam. Photographer sabko paas bula raha hai. Mausi sabko line mein lagati hain, aapki behen aur aapko baari-baari dekhti hain aur hanskar kehti hain: “Saara roop toh behen le gayi, tumhare liye kuch bacha hi nahi! Chalo, idhar kinare khade ho jao.” Kuch log muskurate hain. Aap kinare jakar flash ke liye hanste ho, aur poori raat kamre ke us paar behen ko aadhi nazar se dekhte rehte ho.
Uske bagal mein hi ginti
Pehle saaf baat: jise aap chahte hain uski bagal mein rakhkar taula jaana, dono mein se kisi ke baare mein faisla nahi hai. Isse aapki qadar par koi asar nahi. Par aise palon se ek niyam ug sakta hai, jo phir aapka ban jaata hai: “Main tabhi ginti mein hoon jab bagal wale jitna achha dikhun.” Ye samajhdaari jaisa lagta hai. Dekhiye ye karta kya hai: har kamre ko ranking bana deta hai.
Ghar ke label kyun chipakte hain
Aisa niyam isliye pakad mein aata hai ki ghar ke label chhoti umar mein lagte hain aur har milne-julne mein doharaye jaate hain: padhaku, chuppa, sundar wali. Jab roop kisi aur ke hisse jaata lage, to apne liye kam bacha lagta hai. Poora insaan gina jaana chahna ghamand nahi, apnapan chahna hai. Use narmi milni chahiye.
Kamre ke paar rakha jaata score
Har tulna thoda bojh judti hai. Aap photo mein peeche khade hote ho. Function se pehle aaine ke saamne zyada waqt lagta hai, aur hafton pehle se ghabrahat rehti hai. Kamre ke paar ranking jaanchte ho. Kabhi behen ke saath ki sahajta bhi jaati hai, jisne khud paimana banna kabhi nahi chaha. Saath hansne ki shaamein chupchaap score rakhne ki shaamein ban jaati hain.
Kya ye ranking keemat ke laayak?
Khud se sachchai se poochhiye: is niyam ko pakde rakhne se kya kabhi family photo aasaan hui? Ya zyadatar aapka sukoon aas-paas khade kisi ke haath mein chala gaya? Photo mein ek chehra kisi insaan ka paimana nahi hota. Koi galat jawab nahi hai, aaram se sochiye. Kya is niyam ko itna kaskar pakadna us keemat ke laayak hai?
Poora insaan, aadha nahi
Chhodne ka matlab ye nahi ki tulna sahi thi. Wo sahi nahi thi. Matlab ye ki ek Mausi ka vaakya ab tay nahi karta ki aap kahan khade hon, kya pehnein, ya behen ke kitne paas mehsoos karein. Aapko poora insaan rehne ka haq hai, ranking ka aadha hissa banne ka nahi. Shuruaat chhoti ho sakti hai, ek baar mein ek photo. Wahin se sukoon lautta hai, tasveer ke beech mein, apnon ke saath.
If remarks about how you look come with threats, being hurt or frightened, or being kept from people, that is not okay and is worth taking seriously.
Palat
Purana rule, aur try karne ke liye ek naya #
Purana ruleMain tabhi ginti mein hoon jab bagal wale jitna achha dikhun.
Try karne ke liye naya ruleMain poora insaan hoon, tulna ka aadha hissa nahi.
Agli baar ke liye
Agli baar try kijiye #
- Kadam 1
Photo mein apni aisi ek baat dekhiye jo roop ki nahi
- Kadam 2
Behen ya cousin ke saath wo yaad sochiye jisme ginne ko kuch na ho
- Kadam 3
Tulna goonje to ek dheemi saans lijiye
Is par baat karni hai?
“Aapke ghar ne aapko kaun sa label diya, aur doosre ko kaun sa?”
Free aur private. Shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi. Chat isi sawaal se khulti hai.
Yeh deck jo kuch jaanta hai
Aur gehraai mein #
Yeh kaisa sunai deta hai, kahan se aata hai, iski kya keemat hai, aur ise dekhne ke doosre tareeke. Har sawaal par chat khulti hai.
Yeh kaisa lagta hai
Kya kaha gaya
Do log, bagal-bagal khade #
Mysuru mein cousin ki shaadi, kalyana mantapa ka stage. Photographer sabko bula raha hai, Mausi line lagwa rahi hain. Phir wo aapse aur aapki behen se nazar ghumakar, laad se hanskar kehti hain: “Saara roop toh behen le gayi, tumhare liye kuch bacha hi nahi!” Camera click karta hai aur baat aage nikal jaati hai.
Ye aksar muskurakar kahi jaati hai, jaise chhoti si bematlab mazaak ki baat ho. Par ismein do poore insaan, apni hansi aur apni kahaniyon samet, ek jodi ban jaate hain jise number diye ja rahe hain, aur ek ko sabke saamne chupchaap doosre number par rakh diya jaata hai.
Pichhli baar kisi ke bagal mein rakhkar kab taula gaya: bhai-behen, cousin, dost ya classmate?Is par baat kijiye ›
Mauka kya tha, aur aas-paas aur kaun itna paas khada tha ki sun le?Is par baat kijiye ›
Pehle kuch pal
Sochne se pehle hi lag jaati hai #
Kisi ko lagta hai jaise zameen zara si jhuk gayi ho. Koi photo ke liye muskurata rehta hai aur andar sab tham jaata hai. Koi usi behen ki taraf dekh leta hai jisse tulna hui, aur koi udhar dekh hi nahi paata. Inmein se kuch bhi samjhane ki cheez nahi.
Shakl par tulna sharir mein ek second ke andar darj ho jaati hai, khaaskar jab ghar walon se aaye, ghar walon ke saamne. Soch bahut baad mein pahunchti hai: lautte waqt gaadi mein, ya mahino baad jab kisi ke phone mein wahi photo phir saamne aa jaaye.
Wo pehli harkat bata sakti hai ki wo kamra aapke liye kitna maayne rakhta tha.
Un shabdon ke baad wale second mein aapke sharir ne kya kiya?Is par baat kijiye ›
Jam gaya, hans pada, ek kadam peeche hata, ya phone ki taraf gaya?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kyun lagta hai
Apne chahete ki bagal mein taula jaana #
Shakl par tulna isliye chubhti hai ki wo poore insaan ko kisi ranking ka aadha hissa bana deti hai. Aksar ye ghar se aati hai, isliye raay kam aur ghar ka tay faisla zyada lagti hai. Aur jisse taula jaata hai wo aksar wahi hota hai jise aap chahte hain, to chot ko seedha raasta bhi nahi milta.
Bhai-behenon aur cousins ki tulna saalon yaad rehti hai, kai baar lagbhag shabd-ba-shabd. Ek wajah ye bhi ho sakti hai ki wo agli shaadi, agle tyohaar par doharayi jaati rehti hai, aur ek baat dheere-dheere ghar ka label ban jaati hai jo sabko maloom hai.
Tulna ko ek pal ke liye kinare rakhein to aapke sabse kareebi log kis baat ke liye aapke paas aate hain?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapke kaun se hisse, mazaak, madad, cheezein notice karne ka tareeka, us ranking mein kabhi the hi nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Andar ki awaaz
Jab tulna andar basne lage #
Itni baar suno to tulna bina kisi ke bole chalne lagti hai. Trial room mein, shaadi ki photo scroll karte hue, ya uske bagal mein kamre mein ghuste waqt, kisi rishtedaar ke munh kholne se pehle hi andar ranking ho chuki hoti hai.
Kyunki ye aapki apni awaaz mein bolti hai, ye bas haqeeqat batana lagti hai. Par ismein aksar kisi aur ke shabd hote hain, kisi aur ke kamre se, aur ye aapki har us baat ko bhool jaati hai jiska photo ke chehre se koi lena-dena nahi.
Tulna bolti hai to awaaz kiski hoti hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Us rishtedaar ki jisne pehli baar kaha, kisi cousin ki jisne doharaya, ya aapki apni, jo isliye apna li ki doosra kahe to thoda kam chubhe?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kahan se aata hai
Yeh kahan se aa sakta hai
Kuch logon ke liye label bahut jaldi lag gaye #
Bahut gharon mein bachchon par chhoti umar mein hi label chipak jaate hain: padhaku wala, chuppa, sundar wali, Papa par gaya hua. Ye bina soche baant diye jaate hain, aur har milne-julne mein doharaye jaate hain, jab tak seedhe tathya jaise na lagne lagein.
Bachcha aise label se behas nahi kar paata. Jo reh jaata hai wo chupchaap nikala hua nateeja hai: ghar mein har cheez ki jagah ek hi ke liye hai, aur roop kisi aur ko mil gaya to apne liye kam bacha.
Pehli baar kab kisi ke bagal mein rakhkar aapka zikr hua?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapko kaun sa label mila, unhein kaun sa, aur ye jaanne ke baad aapne kya karna shuru ya band kar diya?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iske neeche ki maanyata
Tulna ke peeche baitha ek chupchaap niyam #
Kuch logon ko andar aisi line banti sunayi deti hai: “Main tabhi ginti mein hoon jab bagal wale jitna achha dikhun.” Doosra roop: “Wo sundar wali hai to main kuch kam hi hoon.”
Aise niyam niyam jaise lagte hi nahi. Lagta hai bas apni jagah pata hai, jaise khaane ki table par apni kursi. Isiliye inhein kabhi-kabhi nikaalkar dhoop mein dekhna theek hai.
Kuch log ise ek baat se jodte hain, kuch ke liye ye barson ke functions mein bana. Jo bhi ho, ise tulnaon ke chhode niyam ki tarah dekha ja sakta hai, aapke baare mein tathya ki tarah nahi.
Kya inmein se kuch fit hota hai, ya thoda-bahut, ya bilkul nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Kahan ye ab bhi sach lagta hai, aur kahan nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iski kya keemat hai
Iski kya keemat hai
Ranking ki chupchaap chukayi keemat #
Ye photo, kapde aur poori-poori shaamein le sakti hai. Kuch log hafton pehle se function se ghabrate hain, har group photo mein peeche khade hote hain, ya wo cheez pehenna chhod dete hain jo pasand thi, taaki ek aur 'bagal-bagal' nazar na bulayein.
Ismein us insaan se nazdeeki bhi ja sakti hai jisse tulna hui, jisne kabhi khud paimana banna nahi chaha tha. Bhai-behen ya cousins kabhi us ranking ki wajah se door ho jaate hain jo dono ne chuni nahi, aur har koi usi vaakya ka apna hissa uthaye rehta hai.
Ye kamzori ki nishani nahi. Tulna ka doosra hissa bankar jeena mehnat maangta hai.
Agar kuch gaya hai to pichhle saal kya gaya: koi photo, koi dress, kahin jaana, ya apnon ke saath ki sahajta?Is par baat kijiye ›
Agar yeh aisa hi rahe
Aam parivarik mauka, niyam zor se bolta hua #
Kisi aam parivarik mauke ki kalpana kijiye, us din ki jab “main tabhi ginti mein hoon jab bagal wale jitna achha dikhun” zor se baj raha ho. Ye bas dekhne ki tasveer hai, theek karne ko kuch nahi.
Shayad aaine ke saamne lamba waqt, kinare ki kursi, kamre ke paar ranking jaanchti ek nazar, haath mein phone taaki photo aap hi kheenchein. Kuch jaana-pehchana lag sakta hai, kuch bilkul nahi.
Yahan abhi kisi cheez ka jawab nahi chahiye, aur tasveer jab chahein rakh sakte hain.
Aap kahan khade hain, kya pehna hai, kin photo se hat rahe hain?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ab dekhkar, agar kuch, to aapko kya dikhta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Do logon ke baare mein ek vaakya #
Shabd jo bhi the, wo ek insaan ki nazar thi, ek kamre mein do chehron par.
Kuch logon ko dikhta hai ki jinse tulna hui, unhone bhi apna version suna hai, shayad numbers, job ya shaadi ko lekar. Gharon mein ranking har disha mein baanti jaati hai, aur lagbhag har koi kisi na kisi baat mein doosre number par rakha jaata hai.
Aise dekhein to ek tulna do poori zindagiyon ke baare mein, unki dostiyon, kaam, hansi-mazaak aur plans samet, kitna keh sakti hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ek aur tareeka: shaadi mein aapke do chhote cousins ki tulna aise ho rahi hoti, to ghar lautte waqt aap dono ko kya batana chahenge?Is par baat kijiye ›
Kya kisi se kahenge ki pyaara sirf ek hi ho sakta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise jaldi pehchanna
Dobara dekhne par kya dikhta hai #
Jab kuch log wo pal dheere-dheere doharate hain, to gaur karte hain ki kisne saath nahi diya: wo chacha jisne baat badal di, wo dost jisne aankhein ghuma deen, wo behen jo utni hi asahaj dikh rahi thi. Kamra kai baar un shabdon ke peeche utna nahi tha jitna laga.
Kuch ko wo log aur jagahein yaad aati hain jahan tulna kabhi aati hi nahi: dost jo us film ki baat karta hai jo dono ne dekhi, colleague jo aapki raay poochhta hai, ghar ka bachcha jo bas aapke saath khelna chahta hai. Wo kamre hamesha se the.
Sabse pehle inmein se kaun yaad aata hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aur wo aapmein kya notice karta hai, jab baat is par na ho ki aap kisi ke bagal mein kaise dikhte hain?Is par baat kijiye ›
Isse sulah
Ranking jeetne ki zaroorat nahi #
Sulah ka matlab tulna se sehmat hona nahi, na ye dikhana ki chot nahi lagi. Matlab bas itna ki wo ek vaakya kam tay kare ki aap kin photo mein khade hon, kya pehnein, aur jisse taule gaye, uske paas hona kitna aasaan lage.
Kuch logon ko halka lagta hai jab wo ranking jeetne ki koshish chhod dete hain: perfect kapde, perfect jawab, wo din jab rishtedaar ulti baat kahein. Jab tak us muqable mein utre raho, wo chalta rehta hai, aur tulna beech mein bani rehti hai.
Kaisa lagega agar wo shabd usi ke paas rahein jisne kahe, ek shaadi mein ek rishtedaar ki aadat, na ki aisa label jise aap har us kamre mein le jaayein jahan aapki behen ya cousin bhi ho?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ek zyada sachcha vaakya
Paas rakhne ke liye ek sachcha vaakya #
Agar tulna barson se chal rahi hai, to usse seedhe bhidne ki zaroorat nahi. Kuch log iske bajaye ek line taiyaar rakhte hain: “Main poora insaan hoon, kisi tulna ka aadha hissa nahi.”
Ye shuru mein sach lagna zaroori nahi. Ye bas pehenkar dekhne ki line hai, aur kuch logon ko lagta hai ki shaadi ya tyohaar se pehle dheere se kahi jaaye to purani ranking ki bhari jagah mein se thodi le leti hai.
Aapke apne shabdon mein sachcha vaakya kya hoga, jo aapke baare mein sahi ho aur jise sahi maanne ke liye us rishtedaar ki zaroorat na pade jisne kaha tha?Is par baat kijiye ›
Kya rehne dein
Kuch cheezein bas utaarkar rakh di jaayein #
Har tulna ko jawab, makeover ya agle function ki planning nahi chahiye. Kuch ko dekha ja sakta hai, ek pal mehsoos kiya ja sakta hai, aur utaarkar rakh diya ja sakta hai, jaise shaadi ki lambi raat ke aakhir mein bhaari shawl utaarkar rakhte hain.
Ye dikhava nahi ki sab sahi tha. Ye chunna hai ki dhyaan kahan jaaye, aur kuch log kehte hain isse un logon ke liye jagah bachti hai jinke saath sahaj raha jaata hai, kabhi-kabhi usi insaan ke liye bhi jisse tulna hui thi.
Aaj shaam ke liye ise utaar dene ka matlab ye nahi ki wo baat sahi thi ya nipat gayi. Bas itna ki use agli photo, agli baatcheet ya agli baar saath khade hone tak saath chalna zaroori nahi.
Agar yeh dheela pade
Aur agar niyam zara dheela ho jaaye #
Sirf tasveer ki tarah sochiye ki niyam ek darja dheema hua. Photo bas us din ki photo hai, logon ke saath, aur bagal wala bas wo hai jise aap chahte hain.
Chhoti cheezein kaafi ho sakti hain: ek photo mein beech mein khade hona, wahi pehenna jo sach mein pasand hai, behen ya cousin ke saath hansna bina kisi scoreboard ke.
Yahan kisi se kuch kehne ki zaroorat nahi. Jo bhi aaye, wo aapka hai aur gaur karne laayak hai, kitna bhi chhota ho. Agar ise theek se dekhna chahein, to baatcheet bas ek tap door hai.
Sabse pehle kya alag lagta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapki pehli chhoti cheez kya hogi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Try karne ki chhoti cheezein
Try karne ke liye kuch
Kuch chhoti cheezein jo log aazmate hain #
- Mann mein naam dijiye: “Lo, phir wahi purani tulna”
- Koi photo dekhkar apni aisi ek baat notice kijiye jiska roop se lena-dena nahi
- Us bhai-behen ya cousin ke saath ki aisi ek yaad sochiye jisme ginne jaisa kuch nahi
- Function se pehle table par haath rakhkar teen dheemi saansein lijiye
- Ek aise insaan ko notice kijiye jo ise kabhi muqabla nahi banata
Chhote, nijee aur sab apni marzi se. Jo aasaan lage, wo aazmaiye.
Ek sawaal chuniye
Baat kijiye #
Kisi ek par tap kijiye. Dr. Thoughts ke saath chat usi sawaal se khulegi: free, private, shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi.
- Aapke ghar ne aapko kaun sa label diya, aur doosre ko kaun sa?
- Tulna karne walon se aap kya notice karwana chahenge, uski jagah?
- Tulna ke baad aapke aur us insaan ke beech kya badla?
- Jis aam din ye niyam zor se bole, aap kis photo se hat jaate hain?
- Agar ye thoda halka ho, to sabse pehle aapko kya dikhega?