Andar
Andar kya chal raha hai #
Teen baatein jo aksar in shabdon ke neeche hoti hain.
Ye aksar tab aata hai jab parent pehle se shaant dikhne ki bharsak koshish kar rahe hon: bhare kamre mein rone ka daur, lamba safar, poore family ke saamne pehli mulaqat.
Kuch log aise gharon mein bade hue jahan koi bada har wo kaam poora kar deta tha jo unhone abhi shuru kiya ho, aur unhone dekha ki dheemey ya anishchit hone par doosre haath kaam apne haath mein le lete hain.
Neeche-neeche ek maanyata baith sakti hai: “Yahan meri raay ki ginti nahi,” ya “Log kya sochte hain wahi tay karta hai.”
Reactions
Log aksar kya karte hain #
- Milan-samaroh mein bachche ko jaldi de dena, usse pehle ki koi haath badhaye
- Aaspaas mandrana, aadha baatcheet mein, aadha bachche par nazar
- Kamre mein hanskar taal dena, aur ghar lautte hue chup ho jaana
- Agli mulaqat mein bachche ko kasakar pakadna, haath badhne ki taiyaari mein
- Baad mein us pal ko dohrana ki bahar se kaisa dikha hoga
Deck
6 cards mein poori kahani #
Chhe chhote cards, us pal se chhod dene tak.
Aapki roti bitiya, baahon se li gayi
Ratnagiri mein Nani ki osari par poora parivar juta hai, aur aapki bitiya baahon mein rone lagti hai. Aap chup karayein, usse pehle ek rishtedaar haath badhakar kehti hain, “La, mujhe de, main sambhalti hoon.” Wo use le leti hain, aur rona tham jaata hai. Sab muskurate hain. Aap bhi muskurate ho. Par aap khaali baahon ke saath baithe rehte ho, anaadi aur kinare kiye hue, jaise sabko dikh raha ho ki aapko nahi aata.
Koi aur chup karaye to nakaami
Shabd ek aise niyam par girte hain jo shayad pehle se wahan hai: “Agar koi aur mere bachche ko chup kara de, to main kaafi achha parent nahi.” Ye bahut parwah jaisa sunayi deta hai. Par dekhiye ye karta kya hai: har madad aap par faisla ban jaati hai. Parent ke roop mein aapka bharosa ab hamesha sahi karne wala hone par tik jaata hai.
Shuruaati parent hona itna bhaari kyun
Hum ise isliye thaamte hain ki parent hona bahut maayne rakhta hai, khaaskar shuru mein. Shayad aap anishchit hain, jaise zyadatar naye parents hote hain. Shayad dikhana chahte ho ki sambhal sakte ho. Niyam bevakoofi nahi. Ye bachche ke liye pyaar se aata hai. Family mein kisi ne sau baar kiya hai, aur aapke liye sab naya hai. Ise narmi chahiye, dosh nahi.
Apne hi bachche ke saath shak
Har “main kar deti hoon” aapko apne par shak karata hai. Apne hi bachche ke saath anaadi lagne lagte ho. Jamavdon se bachte ho. Un rishtedaaron se apni tulna karte ho jo itne pakke lagte hain. Bachcha bahut jaldi de dete ho. Dheere-dheere parent ke roop mein badhne ka bharosa patla hota hai, aur bachche ke saath ki khushi mein dekhe jaane ki fikr ghul jaati hai.
Kya ye shak dhona theek hai?
Imaandaari se khud se poochiye: kya bachche ko chup karane wala khud hone ki zaroorat ne kabhi aapko zyada bharosa diya? Ya zyadatar bechain kiya? Bachche alag-alag logon ke saath tarah-tarah ki wajahon se shaant hote hain, aur shabd unke the. Ek pal aapke parent hone ka paimana nahi. Is niyam ko itna kasakar thaamna jitna deta hai usse zyada leta hai.
Har din seekhna
Chhodne ka matlab ye nahi ki bachcha de hi dein, ya kinare kiya jaana achha lage. Matlab ye ki madad ko faisla hona zaroori nahi. Aap apne bachche ko achhi tarah jaante ho, aur har din seekhte ho. Har parent seekh raha hai. Wahin se thoda chain lautta hai: aapka bharosa apni raftaar se badh sakta hai, aur wo pal bas ek pal reh jaata hai.
If anyone threatens, hurts or frightens you, or tries to keep your child from you, that is something else, and worth taking seriously; going along can be the safe choice.
Palat
Purana rule, aur try karne ke liye ek naya #
Purana ruleKoi aur chup kara de to main kaafi achha nahi.
Try karne ke liye naya ruleHar din seekhna jaari hai. Madad faisla nahi hai.
Agli baar ke liye
Agli baar try kijiye #
- Kadam 1
Is hafte bachche ke baare mein seekhi ek cheez mann mein ginie
- Kadam 2
Bachche ko baahon mein liye ek shaant pal ka maza lijiye
- Kadam 3
Dekhe jaane ka ehsaas ho to ek dheemi saans lijiye
Is par baat karni hai?
“Bachcha liye jaate samay aapne kya nahi kaha, kyunki us kamre mein uska asar aap jaante the?”
Free aur private. Shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi. Chat isi sawaal se khulti hai.
Yeh deck jo kuch jaanta hai
Aur gehraai mein #
Yeh kaisa sunai deta hai, kahan se aata hai, iski kya keemat hai, aur ise dekhne ke doosre tareeke. Har sawaal par chat khulti hai.
Yeh kaisa lagta hai
Kya kaha gaya
Chaar shabd, aur achanak baahein khaali #
Sunday ka khaana, Ratnagiri mein Nani ki osari. Ya Dubai ke airport par Chachi. Ya Leicester ke tang kamre mein sasur. Bachcha ek pal ko kunmunata hai, do haath aage badhte hain, aur baahon se wazan utarte-utarte awaaz aati hai: “La, bachche ko mujhe de, main sambhalti hoon.”
Ek second bhi nahi lagta, aur aksar kamre mein kisi aur ke dhyaan dene se pehle khatam ho jaata hai. Bachcha baahon mein hai, baatein chalti rehti hain, aur parent khaali haath khade hain, us line ke saath jo tay kar gayi ki ab kiski chal rahi hai.
Aakhri baar rishtedaar ne aapka bachcha “main dekhti hoon” jaise shabdon ke saath aapse liya, tab aap kahan khade the?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aur kamre mein aur kisne ye hote dekha?Is par baat kijiye ›
Pehle kuch pal
Wo pal jab baahein halki ho gayin #
Kuch parents batate hain ki chehra garam hota hai, aadhi muskaan tiki rehti hai jabki andar kuch gir jaata hai, ya haathon ko samajh nahi aata ki ab kya karein. Kuch bachche ki taraf haath badhate hain, kuch wahin jam jaate hain. Kuch bhi ho sakta hai, aur kisi ko safai dene ki zaroorat nahi.
Jo cheez sabse apni lagti hai usmein kinare kar diye jaana body mein jaldi darj ho sakta hai, shabd aane se pehle. Kuch ke liye sochna baad mein shuru hota hai, gaadi mein ya sink par, us pal ko aur jo ankaha reh gaya use dohrate hue.
Bachcha aapse liye jaane ke baad ke kuch minute aapne kaise bitaye, aur wo pehli reaction is baare mein kya kehti hai ki us pal aapke liye kitna maayne tha?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kyun lagta hai
Ek minute ki baat hai, par role khisakta hai #
“Kya main thodi der le loon?” ek peshkash hai. “La, mujhe de” ek pehle se liye faisle jaisa lag sakta hai, ki abhi is bachche ko sambhalne ke liye kaun zyada sahi hai. Mann madad se zyada us darje ko saaf sunta hai.
Ye aksar tab aata hai jab parent pehle se shaant dikhne ki bharsak koshish kar rahe hon: bhare kamre mein rone ka daur, lamba safar, poore family ke saamne pehli mulaqat. Tab kinare kiya jaana raahat kam aur chupke se laga nishaan zyada lag sakta hai.
Us khaane, mulaqat ya safar ka kaun sa hissa alag lagta, agar shabd “la, mujhe de” ki jagah “koi haath bataoon?” hote?Is par baat kijiye ›
Andar ki awaaz
Jab shak pehle bolne lage #
Aksar suno to andar baith sakta hai. “Wo behtar karenge.” “Kisi ke kuch kehne se pehle bachcha de do.” “Aisa mat dikhao ki tum joojh rahe ho.” Kabhi-kabhi awaaz tab bhi bolti hai jab kisi rishtedaar ne kuch kaha hi nahi.
Rishtedaar doosre shehar mein ho sakta hai, par jaanch ab andar hoti hai: parent rote bachche ko uthane se pehle kamre mein nazar ghumate hain, ya kisi ke bura maanne se pehle shor ke liye maafi maang lete hain. Kyunki awaaz apni jaisi lagti hai, wo samajhdaari jaisi chal jaati hai.
Wo kiski awaaz hai jo bachcha dene ko kehti hai, aur kis kamre mein, kin rishtedaaron ke saath aapne use pehli baar suna?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kahan se aata hai
Yeh kahan se aa sakta hai
Kuch logon ke liye kinare kiya jaana purana ehsaas hai #
“La, main kar deti hoon.” “Hat, mujhe karne de.” Kuch log aise gharon mein bade hue jahan koi bada har wo kaam poora kar deta tha jo unhone abhi shuru kiya ho, aur unhone dekha ki dheemey ya anishchit hone par doosre haath kaam apne haath mein le lete hain.
Kuch families mein badon ka sab chalana ghar ke chalne ka bas ek tareeka hai, aur wajahein har ghar mein alag hain. Isse chupchaap jo mil sakta hai wo ye ehsaas hai ki aapke apne tareeke ki ginti tabhi hai jab koi zyada anubhavi peeche hat jaye.
Aapne pehli baar kab dekha ki koi bada aapke haath se kaam le raha hai, theek jab aap shuru kar rahe the, aur tab aapki umar kya thi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iske neeche ki maanyata
Neeche baith sakne wala ek chup niyam #
Neeche-neeche ek maanyata baith sakti hai: “Yahan meri raay ki ginti nahi,” ya “Log kya sochte hain wahi tay karta hai.” Kuch parents ek aur chup roop dhote hain: “Family ke saamne meri jagah chhoti hai, apne hi bachche ke saath bhi.”
Aise niyam niyam jaise lagte hi nahi. Wo saamanya tameez jaise lagte hain, jaise bade mehmaan ko sabse achhi kursi dena. Isiliye inhein kabhi-kabhi nikaalkar roshni mein dekhna theek hai.
Kuch log aise niyam ko shuruaati saalon tak dhoondh paate hain, kuch nahi. Dono tarah se ise dekha ja sakta hai.
“Apne hi bachche ke saath bhi meri jagah chhoti hai” wala niyam kin kamron mein ab bhi theek baithta hai, aur kinmein nahi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iski kya keemat hai
Iski kya keemat hai
Kinare kiye jaane ki keemat #
Iska matlab ho sakta hai visit kamre ke kinare beetna, bachcha ek haath se doosre haath ghoomta rahe aur parent cheezein laate rahein, chhote faisle sabse bade ki taraf dekhkar. Kuch parents kuch tay karne se pehle hi mehfil mein apne bachche ki taraf haath badhana chhod dete hain.
Ek dheemi keemat bhi hai. Agli baanh badhne ka intezaar dhyaan khaata hai, aur poori dopahar bina ek aasaan pal ke nikal sakti hai jisme bas bachche ko baahon mein lekar achha lage. Ek saal mein kai mehfilein imtihaan jaisi ho sakti hain.
Ye kamzori ki wajah se nahi; bhare kamre mein chaukanna rehna sachmuch mehnat hai.
Pichhle saal ki family mulaqaton ne kya liya: koi photo jisme aap nahi, koi adhoora pal, koi ehsaas jo darwaze par nigal liya?Is par baat kijiye ›
Agar yeh aisa hi rahe
Paanch saal aur, kamre ke kinare #
Kisi aam Tuesday ki tasveer banaiye, us din ki jab “apne hi bachche ke saath bhi meri jagah chhoti hai” zor se bol raha ho. Ye bas dekhne ki tasveer hai, theek karne ko kuch nahi.
Shayad video call jahan camera bachche ki taraf mudaa hai aur aapse door, weekend ka plan jo pehle kisi rishtedaar ko sunaya gaya, kisi jamavde mein rone ka daur jab aap haath badhane se pehle kamre mein nazar ghumate hain. Kuch jaana-pehchana ho sakta hai, kuch bilkul nahi.
Yahan kisi cheez ka abhi jawab nahi chahiye, aur jab chahein tasveer neeche rakhi ja sakti hai.
Usmein kya hai: phone, mulaqatein, pehle kisi bade se poochhe gaye chhote faisle?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise dekhkar, agar kuch, to aapko kya dikhta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Sambhalna kaise, aur kiske muqable? #
“La, mujhe de” mein chupchaap ek tulna hai, par wo shayad hi batati hai ki kiski kisse.
Bachchon ka anubhav ek insaan mein ho sakta hai aur parent ka role doosre mein, aur ye do alag cheezein hain. Koi bees bachche baahon mein le chuka ho aur phir bhi kisi aur ka bachcha thaame ho. Aise dekhein to hunar aur role alag ho sakte hain.
Goad mein lena, jhulana, sahi geet?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ek baar tulna ka naam le lein, to kya wo ek pal ke hunar ki hai, ya is ki ki parent kaun hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Agar kisi kareebi dost ka bachcha usi tarah, usi tarah ke family khaane mein, uski baahon se utha liya jaata, to aapne kya dekha hota?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise jaldi pehchanna
Pal ko dheema karne par kya dikhta hai #
Jab kuch parents ise dheere-dheere dohrate hain, to dekhte hain ki haath badhne se pehle asal mein kya ho raha tha: bachcha ek minute kunmuna raha tha, parent wazan doosri baanh mein badal rahe the, ek geet aadha shuru hua tha.
Kuch un palon par dhyaan dete hain jinhein kisi ne nahi dekha: der raat ka jhulana, wo geet jo bas ek ghar jaanta hai, ghar ki wo sau chhoti cheezein jo bina dekhe hui. Kabhi wo bahut maayne rakhti hain, aur kabhi kuch der kamre ki raay zyada zor se lagti hai.
Uske baad aaye shabdon ke paas rakhkar, dheema roop kya dikhata hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ghar ke ek shaant aam din ka apne bachche ke saath kaun sa bina dekha pal sabse pehle yaad aata hai, jab aap khud ko uska parent sochte hain?Is par baat kijiye ›
Isse sulah
Is len-den ko jeetna zaroori nahi #
Sulah ka matlab shabdon se sehmat hona nahi, ya khaali baahon ki chubhan ko jhuthlana nahi. Matlab ye ki ek jamavde ki ek line kam chale is par ki agli baar apna bachcha uthate hue kaisa lage.
Kuch parents ko halka lagta hai jab wo har rishtedaar ke saamne ek saath poori tarah qaabil dikhne ki koshish chhod dete hain. Wo paimana sarakta rehta hai, kyunki kamre mein har kisi ke paas alag tasveer hai, aur uska peecha har visit ke beech mein ek tippani rakh deta hai.
Jahan kamra waqai nahi sunta, wo kamre ki baat hai, aur wahan aapko aazmana zaroori nahi.
Kaisa lagega agar shabd unke rahein, aur is bachche ke parent hone ka aapka ehsaas aapka rahe?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ek zyada sachcha vaakya
Paas rakhne ke liye ek sachchi line #
Agar “wo behtar karenge” bachche ke aane ke baad se chal raha hai, to usse seedhe ladne ki zaroorat nahi. Kuch parents iske bajaye aisi line taiyaar rakhte hain: “Koi aur mere bachche ko baahon mein le, tab bhi bachcha kiska hai, ye nahi badalta.”
Ye sach lagna zaroori nahi. Ye bas ek line hai jo kuch log aazmate hain, aur kuch paate hain ki family mulaqat se pehle dheere se kehne par wo utni jagah le leti hai jitni purani line bharti thi.
Is bachche ke parent hone ke baare mein sachchi line aapke apne shabdon mein kaisi lagegi, jo bhare kamre mein kisi aur ki sehmati maange bina aap khud se keh sakein?Is par baat kijiye ›
Kya rehne dein
Kuch cheezein bas neeche rakhi ja sakti hain #
Har “la, mujhe de” ko jawab, faisla ya agli mulaqat ka plan nahi chahiye. Kuch ko dekha ja sakta hai, ek pal feel kiya ja sakta hai, aur neeche rakha ja sakta hai, jaise lambe din ke baad darwaze par gira diya gaya diaper bag.
Ye haar maanna nahi hai. Ye chunna hai ki aapka dhyaan kahan jaye, aur kuch parents kehte hain isse ghar ke un aam palon ke liye zyada jagah bachti hai jinhein koi aur nahi dekhta, na number deta hai.
Shabdon ko ek shaam ke liye neeche rakh dene ka matlab ye nahi ki wo theek the, ya baat nipat gayi. Bas itna ki unhein ghar ki shaam, family se agle phone ya kal ki subah tak aapke peeche nahi aana.
Agar yeh dheela pade
Aur agar niyam thoda bhi dheela ho #
Sirf ek tasveer ki tarah sochiye ki niyam ek darja dheema ho gaya hai. Rishtedaar ab bhi peshkash karte hain aur haath badhate hain, aur parent hona is par tika nahi ki bachcha is pal kiski baahon mein hai.
Chhoti cheezein kaafi ho sakti hain: family khaane mein bachche ko baahon mein lena bina darwaze ki taraf dekhe, koi geet apni awaaz mein gaana, ya ghar lautte hue pal ke baare mein nahi, kisi aur baat par baatcheet.
Yahan kisi se kuch kehne ki zaroorat nahi. Jo bhi aaye, wo aapka hai. Agar ise theek se dekhna chahein, to baatcheet bas ek tap door hai.
Sabse pehle kya halka-sa alag lagta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapki pehli chhoti cheez kya hogi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Try karne ki chhoti cheezein
Try karne ke liye kuch
Kuch chhoti cheezein jo parents aazmate hain #
- Mann mein naam dijiye: “Lo, phir wahi bachcha-lene wali line”
- Chupchaap poochiye: sambhalna kaise, theek-theek, aur kiske muqable?
- Dekhiye ki zyada chubha kya: shabd, ya khaali baahein
- Gaur kijiye ki shabd aaye tab kamre mein aap kahan khade the
- Aaj ki ek chhoti-si cheez par dhyaan dijiye jo aapne chaahi, chahe kitni bhi chhoti
Chhote, nijee aur sab apni marzi se. Jo aasaan lage, wo aazmaiye.
Ek sawaal chuniye
Baat kijiye #
Kisi ek par tap kijiye. Dr. Thoughts ke saath chat usi sawaal se khulegi: free, private, shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi.
- Bachcha liye jaate samay aapne kya nahi kaha, kyunki us kamre mein uska asar aap jaante the?
- Jis pal bachche ne haath badla, kamre mein aapne sabse pehle kiski taraf dekha?
- Bachche ke saath wo kaun sa chhota pal hai jo kisi ne nahi dekha, aur sabse apna-sa lagta hai?
- Jis aam din ye “meri jagah chhoti hai” niyam zor se bole, aap ab bhi kya taal rahe honge?
- Agar ye niyam thoda halka ho, to agli family mulaqat mein sabse pehle aapko kya dikhega?