Andar
Andar kya chal raha hai #
Teen baatein jo aksar in shabdon ke neeche hoti hain.
Tulna mein kuch ankaha bhi rehta hai: uska matlab kya hai, aur chahiye kya.
Kuch logon ke liye ye aise school ya bachpan se bani jahan number aur rank zor se padhe jaate the, aur tulna hona peeche ki jaani-pehchani bhinbhinahat ban gaya, jo har baad ke kamre mein saath chali.
Bheetar ek niyam baitha ho sakta hai: “Agar wo meri parwah karte, to tulna na karte”, ya “Achha parivaar har insaan ko uske apne hisaab se aankta hai”.
Reactions
Log aksar kya karte hain #
- Muskurakar kuch meetha-sa keh dena
- Apne upar ek chhota mazaak jod dena
- Agli baar ke liye aur zyada koshish karna
- Chup ho jaana aur baad mein mann mein dohrana
- Mann hi mann aap bhi tulna kar dena
Deck
6 cards mein poori kahani #
Chhe chhote cards, us pal se chhod dene tak.
“Bas thoda aur besan bhuna hota”
Bhopal, Arera Colony mein sasural ka Sunday wala khana. Saas aapki kadhi chakhti hain aur kehti hain, “Bahut achhi bani hai, bas tumhari devrani isme besan thoda aur bhunkar daalti hai, pata hai?” Baad mein table lagane ke tareeke par: “Uske yahan toh aise hi lagta hai.” Aap sir hilakar muskurate rehte ho. Par lautte waqt aisa lagta hai jaise aise muqable mein the jisme aapne naam nahi likhwaya tha.
Ye tulnayein band honi chahiye
Neeche ek niyam baitha hai: “Sasural wale meri doosron se tulna karna band karein.” Ye ekdum jaayaz lagta hai. Sabka apna tareeka hota hai. Par dekhiye ye karta kya hai: aapke “kaafi achhe” hone ka ehsaas unki tippaniyon se bandh jaata hai. Aap apnapan mehsoos karein ya nahi, ye un baaton par nirbhar ho jaata hai jo shayad purani aadat se halke-phulke, bina soche kahi gayin.
Tulna mein kami kyun lagti hai
Hum ise isliye pakadte hain kyunki tulna hona aisa lagta hai jaise kabhi poora nahi utre. Shayad bhai-behnon se hui tulna ab bhi chubhti hai. Shayad is parivaar mein apni jagah banane mein aapne bahut mehnat ki hai, aur apne liye dekhe jaana chahte ho. Jo bhi ho, jaise hain waise kadar chahna zyada sanvedanshil hona nahi hai. Wo apnepan ki chaah se aata hai. Wo daya ki haqdaar hai, dosh ki nahi.
Kiye ki chamak kam hona
Har tulna aapke kiye ki chamak thodi kam kar deti hai. Aap unki manzoori ke liye pakane lagte ho. Har tippani par gaur karke raat mein use dohrate ho. Bina chahe khud bhi tulna karne lagte ho. Dheere-dheere sasural ki mulaqaatein aisi pariksha lagne lagti hain jisme pass nahi hua ja sakta, aur apne dhang se kaam karne ka jo maza tha, uska kuch hissa chala jaata hai.
Kya poora utarna zaroori hai?
Imaandaari se poochiye: kya unke tulna band karne ki zaroorat ne kabhi agli mulaqaat aasaan ki hai? Ya zyadatar aapko aur tanaav mein daala hai? Kuch parivaar har waqt tulna karte hain, jaise wo hamesha baat karte aaye hain; wo aisa kyun karte hain, ye wahi jaante hain. Jo bhi ho, unki tulnayein iska paimana nahi ki aap kya laate ho. Is niyam ko itna kasakar pakadna aapko deta kam, leta zyada hai.
Apna dhang, aur tulna ka nikal jaana
Chhodne ka matlab ye nahi ki tippaniyan achhi lagein. Matlab ye ki “kaafi achhe” hone ka aapka ehsaas unki baaton par nirbhar na rahe. Aap apni kadhi apne dhang se bana sakte ho, uska maza le sakte ho, aur tulna ko sadak par guzarti gaadi ki tarah nikalne de sakte ho. Yahin thodi shaanti lautti hai: aap unki table par apne jaise baith sakte ho, kisi ka doosra sanskaran bankar nahi.
Comparisons about what your family gave or about your looks, or being put down, threatened, watched or frightened, are something else, and worth taking seriously.
Palat
Purana rule, aur try karne ke liye ek naya #
Purana ruleSasural wale meri doosron se tulna karna band karein.
Try karne ke liye naya ruleApne dhang se karna mera haq hai, aur tulnayein nikal sakti hain.
Agli baar ke liye
Agli baar try kijiye #
- Kadam 1
Koi ek dish apne dhang se banaiye aur uska poora maza lijiye
- Kadam 2
Tulna aaye to ek dheemi saans lijiye aur use nikal jaane dijiye
- Kadam 3
Apne style mein aap jo achha karte ho, wo ek baat sochiye
Is par baat karni hai?
“Parivaar mein kisi ne aapki kadar seedhe kab ki, aur kaise?”
Free aur private. Shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi. Chat isi sawaal se khulti hai.
Yeh deck jo kuch jaanta hai
Aur gehraai mein #
Yeh kaisa sunai deta hai, kahan se aata hai, iski kya keemat hai, aur ise dekhne ke doosre tareeke. Har sawaal par chat khulti hai.
Yeh kaisa lagta hai
Kya kaha gaya
Wo naam jo baar-baar aata hai #
“Sasural wale meri doosron se tulna karna band karein.” Ye ek khaas tarah ke vaakya ke baad aati hai: “Tumhari devrani ki kadhi mein zyada besan bhuna hota hai”, ya “Padosi ki bahu toh hamesha time se aa jaati hai”, khane ki table par yunhi kaha hua.
Ye aam taur par us doosre insaan ke baare mein hoti hi nahi. Ye chaah hai ki aapko apne jaise dekha jaye, thoda alag tareeke wala, aur kisi ke mann ki list mein ek rank ki tarah nahi.
Table par aakhri baar kiska naam aaya, aur jab aapne suna tab aap kya kar rahe the?Is par baat kijiye ›
Pehle kuch pal
Jab koi naam liya jaata hai #
Kuch log naam aate hi halki garmi mehsoos karte hain, aur chehre par jhat se ek abhyas-si dilchaspi, jo bheetar se poori tarah mel nahi khati. Chammach chalta rehta hai, aur baatcheet tippani ke ird-gird chalti rehti hai.
Kuch ke kaan bahut tez ho jaate hain, agli tulna ki aahat sunte hue, jabki body kuch maamooli karti rehti hai, jaise koi katori aage badhana. Upar se shaanti rehti hai aur dhyaan kahin aur chala jaata hai.
Pichhli baar jab kisi aur ko misaal banaya gaya, aapke jawab sochne se pehle aapki body ne kya kiya?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kyun lagta hai
Apne jaise dekhe jaane ki chaah aam hai #
Ye chaah samajh mein aati hai. Log wahin zyada apne lagte hain jahan unhein jaise hain waise liya jaata hai, aur kisi aur ke bagal mein rakhe jaana khane ke beech naapne ka feeta thaame jaane jaisa lag sakta hai.
Tulna mein kuch ankaha bhi rehta hai: uska matlab kya hai, aur chahiye kya. Uske bina wo aksar bina niyam wale score jaisi lagti hai, aur score band ho, ye chaahna swabhavik hai.
Koi aisa waqt yaad kijiye jab us parivaar mein aapko bas aap jaisa dekha gaya: tab kya ho raha tha, aur kisne use aasaan banaya?Is par baat kijiye ›
Andar ki awaaz
Wo awaaz jo scoreboard rakhti hai #
“Toh main doosre number par hoon.” “Usne aisa kya kiya jo maine nahi?” “Kya bas apne jaise rehna itna mushkil hai?” Ye awaaz aksar baad mein rasoi mein ya bistar par bolti hai, vaakya ko shabd-dar-shabd dohrate hue.
Aisi awaaz purane paimane utha leti hai: teacher ki koi baat, bhai-behen ka report card, barson pehle ka koi pratidwandi. Kuch log dekhte hain ki wo tab bhi score rakhti hai jab kamre mein koi nahi rakh raha.
Jab awaaz kehti hai ki wo tulna band karein, to usi table par wo unse kya poochhe jaane ki ummeed karti hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Yeh kahan se aata hai
Yeh kahan se aa sakta hai
Naapne ka ye feeta kahan se aayi #
Kuch logon ke liye ye aise school ya bachpan se bani jahan number aur rank zor se padhe jaate the, aur tulna hona peeche ki jaani-pehchani bhinbhinahat ban gaya, jo har baad ke kamre mein saath chali.
Kuch ke liye ulte se: aisa ghar jahan kisi ki tulna nahi hoti thi, isliye naye parivaar mein jab pehli baar hoti hai, to chubhti hai aur der tak rehti hai.
Kisne aapko waisa hi pasand kiya jaise aap hain, unhone kya kaha ya kiya, aur unke paas rehna kaisa lagta tha?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iske neeche ki maanyata
Naape jaane ka niyam #
Bheetar ek niyam baitha ho sakta hai: “Agar wo meri parwah karte, to tulna na karte”, ya “Achha parivaar har insaan ko uske apne hisaab se aankta hai”. Pehla vaakya wo hai jo suna jaata hai; uske neeche ka niyam har tippani ko faisla bana deta hai.
Aisa niyam shayad hi koi chunta hai. Ye alag insaan ke roop mein jaane jaane ki chaah se banta hai, aur usmein sachmuch samajhdaari hai. Isiliye ise us parivaar mein tippani ke sambhavit matlab ke paas rakhkar dekhna kaam ka ho sakta hai.
Kuch log aise niyam ko kisi khaas khane se jodte hain; kuch nahi.
“Koi tulna nahi” kahan theek baithta hai, aur kahan kisi aur ka zikr bas zikr ho sakta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Iski kya keemat hai
Iski kya keemat hai
Scoreboard rakhne ki keemat, ek saal mein #
Iska matlab ho sakta hai har milne se pehle atirikt mehnat, raat pehle abhyas ki gayi koi recipe, dhyaan se chuni koi khaas poshak, aur baad mein sabke saamne rehne ki thakaan.
Mahino mein, apne jaise aanke jaane ki ummeed toh lene mein badal sakti hai: kaun saraha gaya, kaise, aur kis baat par. Kuch log dekhte hain ki wo bhi tulna karne lage hain, aur unhein ye ehsaas pasand nahi.
Pichhle milne se pehle, taiyaari ka kitna hissa achha dikhne ka tha, aur kitna khane ya saath ka?Is par baat kijiye ›
Agar yeh aisa hi rahe
Ek daawat, aur kisi aur ke khane ki taareef #
Ek aam daawat sochiye, aise din ki jab “Tulna band karein” ki awaaz tez hai. Bas dekhna hi maanga ja raha hai.
Shayad apni table par kisi aur ke khane ki taareef sunna, ek tiki hui muskaan, aur dobara liya gaya aisa kaur jis par khush hona chaha tha.
Ise ek table ki jhalak ki tarah padhiye, bhavishya ki khabar ki tarah nahi; ise kabhi bhi neeche rakha ja sakta hai.
Usmein kya hai: pahunchna, pakwaan, wo tippani, aapki thaali par chupke se padi nazar?Is par baat kijiye ›
Us table ka kaun sa hissa aapke liye sabse tez hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Usmein kya alag se dikhta hai, agar kuch dikhta hai?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Ise dekhne ka doosra tareeka
Tulna ke kai matlab ho sakte hain #
Kisi aur ka zikr hamesha ranking nahi hota. Kabhi wo baat karne ka tareeka hota hai, aur kabhi ye kehne ka ki koi cheez pasand hai. Sunne wale ko ye dono bilkul ek jaise sunayi de sakte hain.
Isse aapki ummeed zyada nahi ho jaati, na tippani beasar. Matlab bas ye ki ek hi shabdon mein alag irade ho sakte hain, jo bahar se jaane nahi ja sakte. Kuch logon ko ye pehchanna kaam ka lagta hai ki kaun si tippani chubhti hai aur kaun si nikal jaati hai.
“Tulna band karein” ke andar kya sabse zyada maayne rakhta hai: lehja, kitni baar, ya doosre ka naam liya jaana?Is par baat kijiye ›
Jo pehle se hai
Jo pehle se maujood hai #
Apne jaise dekhe jaane ki chaah ke saath kuch aisi cheezein bhi ho sakti hain jo pehle se dikhi hain: bina kahe dobara parosa gaya chawal, koi dish jo phir maangi gayi, koi rishtedaar jise yaad hai ki aap chai kaisi lete ho.
Aisa sanket chaah ko khatam nahi karta, aur usse santusht ho jaane ki baat bhi nahi. Dono ek table par reh sakte hain, aur sanket apne aap mein dekhne layak ho sakta hai.
Aakhri baar parivaar mein kisi ne seedhe aapki kisi baat ki kadar kab ki: wo kya thi, aur unhone kaise jatayi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Sulah
Ek table jis par aur naam bhi hain #
Apne jaise dekhe jaane ki chaah zyada nahi hai, aur har tulna apmaan nahi hai; ummeed aur tippani ke beech ka faasla poori mulaqaat ka faisla karna band kar sakta hai. Jaise hain waise liye jaane ki chaah jaayaz hai. Buniyaadi izzat aur suraksha kabhi “zyada ki ummeed” nahi.
Jo dheela pad sakta hai wo score hai, aur khana chalte hue bhi koi naam liya ja sakta hai. Aapke parivaar ne kya diya is par tulna, ya aapke rang-roop par, ya baar-baar neecha dikhane ke liye aati tulna, kuch aur hai, aur use gambhirta se lena zaroori hai.
Agar tippaniyon ke saath chot pahunchana ya dhamkana, nazar rakhna ya peechha karna, phone, kaagaz ya passport chheen lena, andar band rakhna ya apne parivaar, doston, kaam ya padhai se door rakhna, ya darr ho, to wo kuch aur hai, aur use gambhirta se lena zaroori hai.
Aapse ya aapke parivaar se paise, tohfe ya gehnon ki maang, paisa roka jaana, aur bachche ke liye dabaav bhi yahi hain. In sab mein saath chalna aur saavdhan rehna surakshit chunav ho sakta hai.
Sochiye aisi daawat jahan ye chaah halki baithti hai: aap kya chakhte, aur kisse baat kar rahe hote?Is par baat kijiye ›
Ek zyada sachcha vaakya
Agle zikr ke liye ek pankti #
“Sasural wale meri doosron se tulna karna band karein” se behas karne ki jagah, kuch log paas mein aisi pankti rakhte hain: “Mujhe mere apne roop mein dekha jaye, aur table par kisi aur ka naam bhi liya ja sakta hai.” Ise jeetna nahi hai, bas paas rehna hai.
Zordaar scoreboard ke saamne nayi pankti dheemi lag sakti hai. Kuch log paate hain ki istemaal se wo mazboot hoti hai; kuch use tab tak badalte hain jab tak apni na lage. Dono theek hain.
Aapke apne shabdon mein sach ke zyada kareeb vaakya kya hoga, jo apne jaise dekhe jaane ki chaah ko bhi rakhe aur doosron ke zikr ke liye jagah chhode?Is par baat kijiye ›
Kya rehne dein
Har tippani ka jawab zaroori nahi #
Kuch tippaniyan suni ja sakti hain, ek baar note ki ja sakti hain, aur jahan giri wahin chhodi ja sakti hain, katori mein rakhe chammach ki tarah. Scoreboard ko zor se padhna zaroori nahi.
Agar tippaniyon ke saath chot pahunchana ya dhamkana, phone ya kaagaz chheenna, apne parivaar, doston, kaam ya padhai se door rakhna, paison ki maang, bachche ke liye dabaav, ya darr aaye, to wo tulna se alag hai, aur gambhirta se lene layak hai; wahan saath chalna surakshit chunav ho sakta hai.
Kisi tippani ko shaam bhar pade rehne dene ka matlab ye nahi ki wo theek thi, ya baat nipat gayi. Bas itna ki shaam phir apni ho sakti hai.
Agar yeh dheela pade
Ek thaali jo bas aapki hai #
Bas ek tasveer ki tarah sochiye ki ummeed ek darja halki hai. Apne jaise dekhe jaane ki chaah ab bhi hai, par tippani bas tippani hai, ranking nahi.
Chhoti cheezein kaafi ho sakti hain, jaise kisi aur ki dish ki taareef sunte hue apni thaali ka maza lena, ya apni banayi cheez ka swaad mehsoos karna.
Yahan kisi cheez ko kisi se kehne ki zaroorat nahi. Jo bhi ubhre, wo aapka apna hai. Aage dekhte hain ki isse sulah karne ka kya matlab ho sakta hai, aur pehle se kya maujood hai.
Sabse pehle kya alag lagta hai, zara-sa hi sahi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Aapki pehli chhoti cheez kya hogi?Is par baat kijiye ›
Try karne ki chhoti cheezein
Try karne ke liye kuch
Kuch chhoti cheezein jo log aazmate hain #
- Koi naam aaye to jawab se pehle pehla ehsaas pehchanna
- Apni koi ek dish ya aadat chunna jo bas aapko pasand hai
- Dekhna ki table par kaun bina tulna ke aapse baat karta hai
- Sochna ki agar chunna aapke haath mein ho, to kis baat ki taareef chahenge
- Chupchaap poochhna: kaun si tippani mere saath reh gayi, aur wahi kyun?
Sab nijee, sab vaikalpik. Jo ho sakta lage, wahi chuniye.
Ek sawaal chuniye
Baat kijiye #
Kisi ek par tap kijiye. Dr. Thoughts ke saath chat usi sawaal se khulegi: free, private, shuru karne ke liye sign-up nahi.
- Parivaar mein kisi ne aapki kadar seedhe kab ki, aur kaise?
- Apne kaam karne ke tareeke ki kaun si baatein aapko bas pasand hain?
- Table par kaun bina kisi naap-tol ke aapse baat karta hai?
- Agar table par liya gaya naam halke mein nikal jaye, to daawat kaisi hogi?
- Sasural ki taraf se dekhe jaane ka kaun sa chhota sanket aapke saath reh gaya hai?